i want to cry

slates

I've only been with my fella 12 mths but i must be expecting too much. Over xmas we travelled to my mum's and whilst he was there he had no consideration to tidiness etc. I got a rollocking for leaving a light on but it was him (never too old for a rollocking from your Mum) and he never said sorry to me or anything.He was a proper Humbug over xmas as well, spoilt my xmas eve just to start with.

He is like this all the time totally bone idle and selfish.Although we have separate homes if i didnt take the plates/cups out after use wherever we are, he'd need a sink in the sofa.

I do all the washing, ironing even at his, cause if i didnt do it he wouldnt and i cant stand being in a pig sty.When i try and say something he goes on one and all i wanna do is scream and cry...

And i was looking towards xmas so much and it was sooooo disappointing even the gifts he gave me were rubbish (but at least he bought me something)..

PS Hope your ok fluff

delhome

i havent told u all everything. I was diagnosed with breast cancer 3 wks ago. im only 34 so it was a bit of a shock.my daughter doesnt know as i didnt want to ruin her christmas.my mam and dad died of cancer 9 wks apart and my daughter life fell apart when they died.I thought my partner would make more of an effort to help. he doesnt agree that i havent told my daughter but i hope n pray i will be ok and she doesnt have to know.im due to have my masectomy on the 10th january. i have only had one chemo session and havent lost any hair yet. i know i should tell my daughter but i cant.she always says that something she loves goes away and never comes back. i dont want her to worry.what should i do

Sarahsaver

I am sending you a PM x

skylight

delhome - Really really big hugs. xxxxxxxxx

I agree that this is perhaps not the time of year to tell her, but she will be more cross with you the longer you leave it.

And you need to kick your partner into touch right now. He may be upset, deep down, over whats going on to, but he needs to get a grip as you can't be strong for all three of you at the same time. You need his support and love too - you need to have a long chat time with him.

Big hugs xxx

roswell

I think the problem might be that Christmas is a woman thing men arent bothered about christmas as long as the kids get something and everyone is happy we dont really care if the cards get sent out or not or that the decorations or straight / right colour / need new ones. We would be happy with just seeing our family having a good dinner and a relax.

note .. this is a one sided view from a male.

steve_r123

I do all the hoovering, most of the washing up,all the ironing, most of the dusting and polishing, hang the washing, then when I have a rest, get shouted at for sitting on my backside! Women!:rolleyes:

Kantankrus_Mare

Well this post has really made me appreciate my OH. Im very very lucky and I guess its thanks to my mother in law really.

He has always done his share and more with the kids. Cooks. Cleans. Does DIY. Washes up. Does most of the washing. Hangs out washing. Even attempts ironing!! Will do the big super market shop.

I guess Im spoilt but I work 4 full days....he works 3 12 hour shifts so I don't see why he shouldn't do it

Its nice not to have to nag though

(He doesn't much like cleaning the toilet/hob or deep fat fryer though...ah well you can't have everything :rolleyes: )

regularsaver1

My bf is such a perfectionist - i think the prefers to do the housework as it is the way he wants it done

whereas my dad does not help mum - as he says he has "no time" - mum works full time as well as him - and she has to wait 3 years for one job on the house to be finished lol

moggins

delhome I honestly believe that they just don't see it. My DH can be wonderful in so many ways but I was also diagnosed with breast cancer three years ago and had my mastectomy four days before my 37th birthday. I refused to spend my birthday in hospital so I came home with strict instructions to rest. My DD who was 18 months old was supposed to go into a day nursery but she came down with a virus and I had to walk to the nursery to pick her up and then nurse her for the next week while she recovered. What was DH doing? Working, that's what! He never did appreciate how much work she was when I was well let alone sick.

You will get through it hun, be strong for yourself, because at 34 you have a lot of living left to do, then when your treatment is over, reevaluate your life and tell your OH to ship up or ship out.

And remember that there is a great survival rate for breast cancer, you can do it hun. Just keep fighting.

kathyd_2

delhome wrote:

i havent told u all everything. I was diagnosed with breast cancer 3 wks ago. im only 34 so it was a bit of a shock.my daughter doesnt know as i didnt want to ruin her christmas.my mam and dad died of cancer 9 wks apart and my daughter life fell apart when they died.I thought my partner would make more of an effort to help. he doesnt agree that i havent told my daughter but i hope n pray i will be ok and she doesnt have to know.im due to have my masectomy on the 10th january. i have only had one chemo session and havent lost any hair yet. i know i should tell my daughter but i cant.she always says that something she loves goes away and never comes back. i dont want her to worry.what should i do

B*gger the housework and everything else and channel all your energies into getting well for your daughter and yourself. Think positive. Wish you well.

(((((((((BIG HUGS)))))))))