Real Life MMD: What should I do about the bridemaid's weight?

yallapilko

sorry but this question sounds completely fictitous to me.
Amongst other things, so far no one has tried on any dresses..... you have to be joking! There are too many holes in this story.

This question just seems to me set up to see what the attitude to fat people is at the moment.

I think someone is doing some research.

gizzie121

Scubee wrote: »

. If they can afford food to get fat, they can afford to get the dress fixed.

I've never heard such nonsense. Healthy food is far more expensive than fattening food. 2 pink lady apples is about £1. For that you can get 6 packets of crisps or a large packet of biscuits. 1 punnet of strawberries is at least £2, you can get multipacks of croissants for that. I could go on, but it is far more expensive, to eat healthily than it is to eat badly. And don't get me started on the cost of corn on the cob!

Saetana

I cannot believe the OP has not had her friend try on the dress, or that she ordered it without checking her size, she may not be the only bridesmaid who won't fit into her dress. In any event, if its a dress size or less too small, as some others have mentioned, good corsetry or support underwear might make the difference. Some of the comments on here are disgusting, its totally the OP's fault this situation has occurred and she really has no idea whether the dress will fit or not! It has NOTHING to do with anyone else what size this woman is, the OP should not have bought the dresses so far in advance, many women have fluctuating weight that goes up and down a size. I found the post with the can of Slimfast particularly offensive.

This post is ridiculous, I can't believe MSE chose it as the money moral dilemma!

Pee

I have a very good friend who is very fussy about her weight and is about a size 8 most of the time. She's quite short and looks great at that size. She also had crohn's disease and sometimes needs to take steroids because of this. She can go up to a size 14 then, which is so hard for her.

Unless your bridesmaid is someone you asked to please your prospective husband, i.e. his sister, this is your friend. If you would dump a friend because of how they looked, then you are doing that friend a favour. If it is your future sister in law, then I think other issues may be at play here. If you didn't want to ask her and felt pushed into it, tough. At the time you might have been able to stick to your guns without causing offence, but anything you do now, especially over a too small dress will look petty and not endear you to your new in laws.

Tuizner

gizzie121 wrote: »

I've never heard such nonsense. Healthy food is far more expensive than fattening food. 2 pink lady apples is about £1. For that you can get 6 packets of crisps or a large packet of biscuits. 1 punnet of strawberries is at least £2, you can get multipacks of croissants for that. I could go on, but it is far more expensive, to eat healthily than it is to eat badly. And don't get me started on the cost of corn on the cob!

hehe - good point

custard_monkey

You took the risk in buying the dresses early and as such I think it's your responsibility to make other arrangements. As others have pointed out anything could have happened in the meantime, if one of your bridesmaids became pregnant or became ill and lost weight the dress you bought would most probably not be suitable anymore and you'd need to find an alternative solution.
I agree there seem to be a lot of negative comments about those with excess weight but in my experience you just have to allow for this. Someone who has never battled with an additive personality couldn't hope to understand how hard it can be for someone who finds it difficult to maintain a particular weight long term. Yes, it is ultimately your own decision on how much you eat but as with a lot of things in life other factors especially emotional issues can play a huge role and the bigger picture is not a simple one.
If she's really a friend to you then be one to her now and don't make her feel like a pariah for gaining a few pounds. I'm sure she hasn't done it to deliberately ruin your day or cost you money!

linzi_h

So much rubbish is being typed here!! For starters, you would have chosen close people to be your bridesmaids so why haven't you seen her in a while? Why did you buy the dress without her? Why have you not had dress fittings yet? I cannot believe that people seem to think that it's eating crap thats put the weight on!!! People can have health issues where weight may go higher (PCOS, Thiroyd, Contriceptive Pill!) She might be pregnant and is too worried to tell you because you might go mad?? My advice is to have a girly night in with all the dresses to hand and see what happens!

rapido

gizzie121 wrote: »

I've never heard such nonsense. Healthy food is far more expensive than fattening food. 2 pink lady apples is about £1. For that you can get 6 packets of crisps or a large packet of biscuits. 1 punnet of strawberries is at least £2, you can get multipacks of croissants for that. I could go on, but it is far more expensive, to eat healthily than it is to eat badly. And don't get me started on the cost of corn on the cob!

No, that's the nonsense; perhaps just an excuse to not lose weight.

Put simply, the vast majority of overweight people are consuming far more calories than those who are not. And that can only come from buying more food than is necessary.

http://articles.nydailynews.com/2010-11-09/entertainment/27080716_1_junk-food-food-diary-unhealthy-food

So if you apparently can't afford to buy the "expensive healthy food", then just buy less of the junk.

minerva_windsong

Get all the bridesmaids to come over and try on their dresses - as others have said it might just not be this girl whose dress needs altering. You can then let her decide where to go from there (although if it needed altering I think any bridesmaid worth her salt would offer to pay for that, and indeed for any other part of her outfit).

Alternatively, maybe say something like you need some extra motivation to work out and invite her to be your gym buddy or go to an exercise class with you? Or get all the bridesmaids over and play some kind of dance/workout game (I have the Zumba Fitness Wii game and if you have enough remotes you can play that with up to four people) so it feels like a fun group thing rather than just focussed on this one girl.

onesixfive

If she wants to be a bridesmaid after your cutting comments, and just to fit into your cheap frock she doesnt wish to diet! - Get a good dressmaker (if necessary) to alter it (or patch a small matching or coordinating piece in), and cover up the handywork with a shrug, or wrap, (or similar).