Real Life MMD: What should I do about the bridemaid's weight?

jamespir

i think your all being harsh why didnt you try the dress on with your freind there she could have a medical problem

bexster1975

No surprise so many people are being harsh with this question. For some reason being fat is the last thing people are still entitled to take the p*** out of someone for. Also good that people still see being overweight as simply self-inflicted.

Shame you didn't have fittings for the bridesmaids like you will have done for yourself. As a previous poster mentioned, you could have problems with any of your bridesmaids if none have tried on their dresses yet.
Is it possible your "overweight" friend is pregnant?

bennett2kuk

Personally upon buying said dress I would have delivered it to the bridesmaid in the protective cover. That way they could have tried it on at the time and known exactly what they needed to do to fit into it.
Personally I would still do this, just give her the dress. If it doesn't fit then she ain't a bridesmaid on the day or she buys herself a new dress. Or it will scare her into losing the weight for your day.
Bear in mind though that it's your day, not theirs. It's special to you but you have no right to demand they be a certain size just because you say so.

jamespir

bennett2kuk wrote: »

Personally upon buying said dress I would have delivered it to the bridesmaid in the protective cover. That way they could have tried it on at the time and known exactly what they needed to do to fit into it.
Personally I would still do this, just give her the dress. If it doesn't fit then she ain't a bridesmaid on the day or she buys herself a new dress. Or it will scare her into losing the weight for your day.
Bear in mind though that it's your day, not theirs. It's special to you but you have no right to demand they be a certain size just because you say so.

but what if she cant just lose weight as you say it

fekq

if she's only about a size bigger (as you suggest, saying she must be around an 18) a strong girdle - with proper boning - will pull her in a size. so get her to try it on as soon as poss, and have some positive suggestions (such as this - and offer to shop with her/find some online) to hand ready. she's probably worrying about fitting into the dress - she can't not have noticed her other clothes getting tighter...

and if she really can't fit, don't be angry with her. she'll be beating herself up enough. you've other bridesmaids by the sound of things?

Scubee

jamespir wrote: »

but what if she cant just lose weight as you say it

If her weight yo-yo's it is unlikely to be anything other than an inability to stop eating.

The issue isn't bout why she is too fat for her dress, but what to do about it.

The way I have done mine is that all the bridesmaids have tried their dresses on, and I have paid for the dresses, including the fitting. If, before the big day, they get fat, then they can chose to either pay to get it fixed, lose weight, or not be bridesmaid. If they can afford food to get fat, they can afford to get the dress fixed.

Harsh, but fair. She may look in the mirror every now and again,and being fat isn't something you don't know.

iwanttosavemoney2008

I would let her try on the dress and explain you can't get the dress changed (in a nice way) she can then make up her mind as to what to do, whether to lose the weight or alter the dress, or not be a bridesmaid.

end of the day I would hate to look squashed in on all my friends wedding pics, and would rather either look good in my own clothes or slim down to fit the dress.

foxy54

And where does all the fat go with a girdle? A fat neck?
Save on food costs and stop eating so much simple.

Tuizner

tell her to lose weight

better for you

better for her

megamezzosoprano

I am amazed by the sizest comments in this forum - have none of you ever gained a few pounds through stress, aging, pregnancy? (OK, chaps we'll let you off that one, but check that beer belly first...) Any true friend wuld know that rapid weight loss is hazardous to health, and not to be suggested in an emotionally charged situation! Enough already, and let's find some practical suggestions.

Yes, get ALL the bridesmaids to try on dresses together, if only that a combined order for alterations might be cheaper to include those bridesmaids who may have also *lost* weight - this is a money saving forum after all).

As a performer who often has to fit into costumes not made for me, I swear by proper support 'bodies'. These are like non-fancy corsets with underwired cups that smooth out lumps and bumps, whilst still giving a lovely bust line. They are not expensive, and come in a range of colours including natural. Look at companies such as Bravissimo, Bra Stop and others online, rather than high street stores which don't normally have the range. Don't confuse these with the lacey numbers in the lingerie depts - all frills and no support! I prefer bodies to the so-called 'magic knickers' so beloved by Trinny et al, as I find these cut into your stomach, not a pleasant experience when you are sitting at a recpetion for a long time.

Whatever happens, enjoy your day and remember, as the bride all eyes will be on you, not your bridesmainds, unless you've also asked Pippa Middleton, of course...