My teenage son feels the need to lie about his xmas presents to his mate...

vyvyan_2

I echo the sentiments here too. Driving home last night from the family 'do' my son (nearly 18) and I were talking along the same lines. I got him a pc game which I knew he wanted, a beer mug and a jokey gift - he got other bits and pieces from the family too. He's old enough to know roughly what these cost but we had a great time and I am totally confident he is happy with his lot. He would not want me to make things worse by getting into (further) debt and risking any financial stability by going over-board. Basically, what he received was appropriate for our situation.

He had a bit of time to go on MSN during yesterdays festivies and one of his friends got a car and two got laptops. I never cease to be a bit shocked by such 'big' gifts, but maybe that's just me. What do you get them for the next birthday, Christmas next year after? A bigger car???

We had a heart to heart comparing lifestyles of people we know. I'm sure many on here do this too.

redux

I've always wondered what is the point of a signed football shirt anyway. You wouldn't want to wear it in case the ink ran out when you had to wash it, and would probably get teased as a prat as well.

savvy

My youngest had (notice HAD there) a friend exactly the same as that, the parents are split so they are obviously trying to 'out do' each other :rolleyes: Result? Two extremely spoilt little brats that want everything their way, and who constantly brag about what they've got, and the upshot of that is that no one really wants to know them as they are not particularly nice people.

Last Christmas my son was 13 and facing the same shopping list of expensive presents from this 'friend' but when they went back to school my son was able to counteract it with his main pressie from us - an off-roading day It was under £50 and a fantastic experience for him as he got to drive a great big new Freelander in all this mud and water, and learnt hill starts etc etc. As far as he was concerned the 'friend' could keep all his stuff that would eventually get broken, lost or discarded, because what he'd done will stay with him for the rest of his life, that and seeing all the Aston Martins and Ferraris going round the track that day :rotfl:


Anyway, upshot was, the 'friend' was shut up, and my son saw how transparent this lad was and finally came to realisation he wasn't a nice person, and now doesn't hang round with him

victory

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MATH

What a well-balanced and bright son you have - you must be very proud of him.
My eldest son (11yrs) has a friend just like yours, my boy knows that he has nowhere near the same amount spent on him but he knows that a: we cannot afford it and b: it isn't healthy to have everything you want but don't need.
My son was shocked that his friend wanted a new mobile (the third in as many years) but his parents said no so he took out the sim card and damaged it and dropped the phone to break it. This Christmas as well as all the planned gifts they have given him the new mobile he asked for. My boy has had an old brick of a phone for a year and is being upgraded to a new 'used' one from ebay as this years main gift. In total all his presents will cost £50. I've used this event to teach my kidz that spoiling and contempt go hand in hand.
My sons friend does brag a bit but TBH the expensive gifts are all he has, his parents are at the pub most nights, all the holidays (4 expensive ones a year) are not child friendly ones and he is lonely most of the time. Looking at his friends this lad must see he doesn't get the same time, love and attention his friends do. if your sons friend is the same I would pitty him more than blame. Out of the two lads I would bet your son is the 'better off'

lil_me

Always makes me wonder if the children who get a lot of material gifts also can boast they get a lot of attention/affection from their parents. Or is it just to buy the affection. Most parents who spend more than they can afford do it out of guilt.

victory

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jo1967

My son has a friend whose parents work very hard to run their businesses they obviously have alot more (well deserved) disposable cash & his mate does very well. My son (12) realises this and his mate has been brought up not to brag etc. But I do feel it when, for example, the new footie shirt comes out & his mate turns up with it on day one with his name on - well that can be easily £50! My son appreciates I cant do that & will happily save etc - in fact last year the two boys washed cars for friends & family to save for the shirts - sons friend gave him all the money as he said he wouldnt need it as mum was getting his. A very sweet gesture & two happy boys played footie in their shirts!!
This birthday (Nov) & Xmas my son has requested money & used it to save with pocket money for a new phone & ipod. He is very proud of these & taking great care of them - that is the key - he understands the value.

Dont you sometimes feel on another planet when trying to instil values into your kids! Keep up the good work! x

serena

Your son sounds delightful! I've had similar situations with my children and suggested they tried the following:

When the child boasts about what they have been given, I encouraged my child to say with great enthusiasm 'That's fantastic, I'm absolutely thrilled for you, you must be so pleased!'. If asked about their own presents, they can answer that they had exactly what they wanted and were very pleased too - no need to compare prices or go into details.

All the best,

Serena