My teenage son feels the need to lie about his xmas presents to his mate...

victory

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Smickan

Ditto

Except for about 2/3 presents, I can't remember what I had for Christmas and I'm 21!

You have raised a brilliant son, there's not many who have asked! Congratulations, you must be so proud

pickledtink

No he shouldn't lie but proudly tell the truth. His gifts may not be vastly expensive but the are priceless because they have been chosen, worked and saved for with great love.
He does understand that by the sound of it so pat your self on the back.
I've been where you are but can tell you that in the long run your child has a grounding in thoughtfulness and values which this other poor lad doesn't seem to be getting.
That alone is the best present you could give your boy and he WILL appreciate that both now and in later life.
Hope you both have a lovely Christmas.

IWannabedebtfree

I have a teenager and I understand that peer pressure may make kids act in ways that they don't necessarily believe in. My son tends to try to change the subject when friends boast, or exaggerates the gifts he recieves, IF ABSOLUTELY PUSHED, but doesn't elaborate more than he needs to. I think that in an ideal world all kids would voice their opinions with confidence and be proud of their families and their ethos, not caring what others think, but the teenage years can make kids lack confidence-they just want to fit in.

Smashing

When his 'friend' starts bragging about how his playstatioin has 21536134 memory and makes the dinner, simply tell your son to smile and tell him that we can't all be as spoilt as him.

He sounds like a very thoughtful and well brought-up lad, unlike his friend who seems somewhat lacking in social skills and manners.

southernscouser

Victory, I can't be @rsed to read all the replies!

But I hope you haven't taken it personally. Your son will be fully aware you do all you can for him and more and has in my mind demonstrated this by talking to you about it.

Sadly there is alot of peer pressure on kids his age. Try and tell him lies have a way of coming back and biting you on the bum but it's up to him what he says. For the record his mate sounds like a right materialistic little sh!te anyway!

Contains_Mild_Peril

kathyd wrote:

victory, I think the very fact that your son has asked you if it would be ok to lie to his friend speaks volumes for the way you have raised him. How many teenage lads would have just gone ahead and lied anyway?

That's what I thought too. I would try to discourage him from telling porkies though: what if he and his friend are in a group with other friends, and your son's tales of what he allegedly got cause other kids to feel the way he is now? I have a 13-year-old son too (and not much spare cash - his main pressies this year were a VCR and a somewhat pricey PS2 game), so I have some idea of what the peer pressure is like, and how they like to boast about what they got. I wouldn't think badly of his friend for doing so - it's only natural, and he'll probably grow out of it at least to some extent.
I think teenage conversations can get out of hand when they all feel the need to fit in: I remember when I was 13 and admitted to being a virgin, my classmates at school told me I was the only one in the class! I hope that wasn't true...

gregrichards

I understand you and your sons opinion on this but I think it's also wrong to judge the other boy and his family. Just because he gets a lot for Christmas it doesnt mean they are lesser parents than you with your son. They are entitled to buy him gifts just like any other parent is and who is anybody really to judge whether the amount is excessive or not.

The other boy may simply have been excited about Christmas. Your son mentioned that he was hoping to get a memory card for christmas. Other children who's parents could afford a memory card could see that as bragging. Children need to realise that they will grow up with and have different things than others. It's a fact of life that at any one time someone in the world, will have something thats better than what they have.

Loobeylou

Don't you think that the more they get, the more they want - bigger and better next year scenario?

There will always be someone who has got more/bought more/had more given than you or your family. It's a fact of life.

I also think that the very fact of your child having this discussion with you speaks volumes for the way in which you have brought him up, and whilst I would let him perhaps exagerate on what he has been given, I also would not condone lying.

I truly hope that your son is happy with his lot in life, and is happy that he has such a great parent that he can talk to.

bonnie_2

Just asked my 11 year old what she got last year and she can't remember.
Don't worry about it, hope you had a nice day.