Stormybay's Thread a bit of comfort in a hard world

Dumyat

I work in the NHS. and mistakes do happen. not through malice but sometimes systems fail. I think you are right to complain but if the people involved had any decency they will have already acted on what happened.
unfortunately things sometimes dont change unless people complain and it might highlight the issue to other teams too.

I dont know how you can cope with such a turn in events. to think he might have had a chance must be heartbreaking.

Stormybay

Thank you Dogrose, and yes, I agree, I have the utmost repect for people in the medical proffession. To think that the consultant was honest enough to say that John would have had a 70% plus chance of survival is astonishing, not to mention traumatic. The reason, as you say, to make a complaint, it to make sure that this doesn't happen again and if that means a change in procedure, then that's fine...........
I feel cheated out of having a husband and father here with me, I wish he was here, he'd know what to do!!! He'd say, oh, go on 'Stormy', you do it, I'll watch!!!! So I WILL
Stormy

Dumyat

you go girl.
it may have been he would have been in the 30% but then at least you could be sure everything had been done. now you are just left with the what if?...as if you didnt need that x x x

twink

i can only offer great big hugs stormy xx

AnW'sMum

dogrose wrote: »

I work in the NHS. and mistakes do happen. not through malice but sometimes systems fail. I think you are right to complain but if the people involved had any decency they will have already acted on what happened.
unfortunately things sometimes dont change unless people complain and it might highlight the issue to other teams too.

I dont know how you can cope with such a turn in events. to think he might have had a chance must be heartbreaking.

Like you say dogrose I hope the mistakes in John's care have been discussed and changes made to prevent the same happening again. For most of us in our jobs a mistake very rarely can have such catastrophic (sp) outcomes.

I do applaud the consultant's honesty as he would have known the truth of the matter to be very upsetting for Stormy. The facts would seem that he could potentially have sidestepped/covered up for his colleagues and no one would have been any the wiser. But by taking responsibility I find it very honourable.

I think formalising it as a complaint is the right thing to do so that it is properly documented and investigated. We are all here for you Stormy, :grouphug: for you and everyone else that could do with one.

xxx

anniestar

Stormy I dont have the words that will help you, but just want to send you all the love in the world. You are doing so well and John will be so proud of you. For what its worth I think you are doing the correct thing in making a complaint. No it can't bring your beloved Husband back but as you say, perhaps it may ensure that someone else is spared the heartache. That is an amazing gift to give to a stranger. It looks as if my aunt is going on exactly the same journey, for very similar reasons. Good luck sweetie, my prayers and thoughts are with you,as always.

LookingAhead

Hello stormybay...

Just catching up with the thread and I was so saddened to read the latest news. I'm devastated for you.

I was thinking as I read it "...you have to make a complaint...this could happen to someone else...." so I am glad you have come to that decision as well. But I understand the pain & difficulty this will be causing you at the same time.

Again...I'm so very very sorry.

jbatista

Hi All, just a quick catch up. . . All here is getting so much better, the funeral of DS2 best friend went as well as could be expected. He coped so well and I was so proud of him although he got very drunk afterwards along with the rest of the gang!! The visits to the scene are now slowly stopping and he has been to the Crem once since the funeral. Life for him seems to be returning as normal-they all talk about her when they are together, he said he was scared he would forget her as he got older and I told him that would not happen, a true friend stays in the heart forever as do your loved ones and for him to remember that when the sun was out she was shining down on them all.

Stormy ... I am so shocked at what you were told when you wernt to see the consultant. Anger must not be the right word as to how you feel but I do know that if I was in your situation I would make a full complaint to the NHS-they have accepted that they were at fault. I am truely so sorry because this is I am sure not what you wanted to hear and it will not bring your Darling John back to you but hopefully you will get closure so that this will not happen to anyone else. My thoughts are with you as always.
anniestar,twink,mandymoo,AnW'sMum and mollytrundle hope that you are coping all too.
(((((((((((((Love and Hugs on this Sunday Morning))))))))))))))))

Mrs(no)money

You know i follow this thread although i often dont post.....but have just read your update stormy. I am truly gutted and angry for you. I genuinely thought that by speaking to the consultant it would answer all your questions and put your mind at rest. How wrong! I am so so sorry to hear of this outcome, but glad the consultant had the decency to be honest with you. It would be easy not make a formal complaint because as you said, it wont bring john back, but it could make a difference to someone else. Compensation in my opinion doesnt come into it, they could never pay you enough to compensate for your loss and you probably wouldnt want it anyway because of what it represented, and how the hell can you put a price on someones life? Make a complaint stormy, and accept this huge hug i am sending you. :grouphug: I am so very sorry....love and hugs to you. x

AnW'sMum

Morning everyone

Hope you are all well and have a good week. Alice has not gone to school thi morning as she has been sick and it is William's last week at preschool so it is going to be all change here soon. Will be good to only have to go to one place in a morning instead of 2.

The plan is to decorate this room next week so I had better get on.

HUGS to you all

xxx