Stormybay's Thread a bit of comfort in a hard world

nursemolly

hello,
just thought i would pop in to say hi.
so sorry to hear of everyones problems..big (((hugs))) to you all.
you were all so wonderfully supportive to me when i felt at my lowest.so a big thanks.
they say time is a healer, but it is still quite painful each day.
but i find it easing as everyday passes.
but also i find i am scared of forgetting him if i don`t think of him..does that sound kinda strange.
if i find he isn`t in my thoughts for a day or two, i find i panick slightly as i don`t ever want to lose my wonderful memories of him and the times we shared.....hope you can understand. i sometimes feel guilty. isn`t life strange.
anyway.
big (((hugs))) to you all
love
molly
xx

AnW'sMum

Hi everyone

Hope everyone is ok, I don't know where this week has disappeared to, can't believe it's friday already.

Seem to have got nothing done around here at all ah well I'll just have to try harder next week.

molly, it doesn't sound strange at all but be reassured you will never forget him. Don't feel guilty, it wouldn't be natural to think exclusively about one person all the time irrespective of whether they are here or not. Have you thought about getting a special book to write all your memories down in and/or getting a memory box to put things in that remond you of him. We are putting together a website for Ian (very much a work in progress) as he was building a family one. There are no right or wrong answers in any of this, you have to do what is right for you.

Hope you all have a good weekend.

HUGS to you all.

xxx

mandymoo

Hi,

Love and hugs to you all and hope you all have a good weekend.

Mandymoo xxx

Stormybay

Hi all,
Hope you are all ok, you are coping brilliantly and I hope you all have a good weekend. AnW'sMum in right, I have a memory box and a journal. I don't write everyday, only when I feel the need and it does help.
I went to see the John's consultant today at Liverpool. It was very difficult, I took questions with me, but the upshot of the meeting is.....There was a communication breakdown between the senior doctor and the junior doctor, this resulted in John being sent home by the junior doctor when the senior one wanted him to stay in.................The consultant said that if John had stayed in and had the heart attack in the hospital, then there would be a 70% or more chance that he would be here with me today! I am totally devastated, I was so shocked I couldn't say anymore after this honesty from the consultant. The patient liaison officer has given me leaflets on how to make an official complaint. But I just don't know...........what will it solve, do I really need all this? It wont bring John back now. I'm at a total loss again, what would I complain about? That someone didn't make it clear that John should not have come home? I haven't told the older children what was said, they we be so hurt and angry and I woldn't put it past them to go storming off to the hospital. So here I am, once again in total disbelief that this could happen to me. I'm sorry to go on, I'm on here sounding off again........... I just don't want to talk to the children as I can't bear to see them ouset again. Thanks for listening/reading and have a safe and loving weekend.
Hugs
Stormy

AnW'sMum

OMG Stormy, what terrible news for you Was thinking about you today. You know where I am if you want to talk.

xxx

Stormybay

Thank you AnW'sMum, i've just re-read my post and the spelling is awful, I'm obviously in a bit of a state, so I'm off to bed now, I'm so exhausted that I'm sure I will sleep.

I'll catch you all tomorrow,
Night night
Stormy
xxxxxx

Dumyat

Oh stormy I am so sorry. If you decide to go down the compensation route you have a watertight case in they have already admitted liability.
it is a long drawn out process even in that scenario.

I had hoped your meeting would have given you some peace but that outcome is just so awful. x x x

mandymoo

Stormy I am so so sorry for you and the family this is so wrong. when we had to have an inquest and then 18 months later had the court case at the high court in london, every day was like the day dad had died again and again you just relive everything and just as your wounds start to heal a bit they open and you live it all again. It`s not about sueing it`s about you and yours having to live the rest of your lives knowing that your beloved John could still be here and you must do only what is right for you. We are all here to listen and help the best we can and please take care of yourself.
Lots of love to you Stormy and family
mandymoo xxxx

AnW'sMum

I agree mandymoo, just as things start to get sorted something seems to happen to throw it all up in the air again. I don't think any of us kid ourselves that the road will be without twists and turns but ruddy great big pot holes like this....

Still awaiting a date for Ian's inquest and it feels like we are in limbo until that happens but on the other hand, when it does happen it will be like yet more proof that I am not dreaming all this and will wake up to see him lying there next to me. Grrrrrr life is so hard at times.

Stormybay

Thank you Mandomoo, Dogrose, Anw's Mum and all, you are right, it feels like I'm back at square one again. I think I have to make a complaint, even if it's to stop someone else having to go through all this. I don't want compensation, I don't know anything about that sort of thing and why would someone give me money anyhow, wouls it be for loss of earnings or loss of John, as no money could make up for that. It's right that I'm worse off now, but I don't believe that any doctors would have wanted this scenario, but I do have to make sure that there are better procedures in place so that a 'communication breakdown' doesn't pose a risk to anyone else's life.
It's all so horrific and I'm mad that because of 1 sentence on hopital notes could have meant that John could have seem Rosie lift the Sheild for her football team and we could have had Christmas with John. Even if he had bad heart disease, we would have made the most of the time we had left, but we were denied this.........grrrrr so mad!
I have been given details of ICAS, they are the association who help with letter writing for complaints to the NHS and are an independent advocacy body who specialise in this area, so, I guess that this is my starting point.
God, when I forst read this thread just before Christmas (thank you Crawleygirl), who would have though of all the trauma to come, I though loosing John is bad, but it doesn't seem to come on it's own does it.
John's older children are calling later, they are going to be so, so upset with the situation, it just gets worse!
Thanks for all your support and if anyone else has written to complain with regard to the NHS (and for the record, I think that Dr's and nurses do a fantastic job, and they obviously care, and are there to help), I would be interested in what happens and how I would go about it.
Hugs to all,
Stormy

AnW's Mum, I feel so sorry that you are having to wait so long for the inquest, wounds just don't have time to heal do they.
Mandymoo I hope you found the right answers with regards to you Dad, going on and on for so long must have been awful for your family.
Take care all.