Stormybay's Thread a bit of comfort in a hard world

AnW'sMum

Hi everyone

Could really do with a hug, it's ridiculous really. All I have done was to start to rearrange our wardrobes by putting Ian's things into one and mine into another (both in our room). Needed to make room to hang up a load of stuff I have ironed and retrieve the hangers out of the wardrobes. Even though it's been over a year I still cannot bring myself to get rid of his clothes and just the act of sorting them for practicality's sake is so hard. Going to have to stop crying and calm m face down before i pick Alice up from school.

They both started back yesterday and tomorrow will be William's first full day, they seem to have settled well so far. Ian would have been proud to see them both going off.

Hope you are all keeping well and the school returners have had a good start to the new year.

xx

catznine

Big ((((((HUGS)))))) to you AnW'sMum if you are not ready just yet then don't do it, give yourself some more time. My friend saved her hubbys dressing gown (for cuddling) and I have the old sofa blanket which I keep in a large plastic bag so it still holds in the smell of home and Mum and Dad, but sorting out the clothes is a huge emotional task, promise me you will wait until you are really ready and have someone with you for support.

Catz x

AnW'sMum

Thanks Catz before I sorted the wardrobes today I thought I would start to thin things down and start to get rid of some things but it's just shown be that 1 I can't do it yet and 2 I don't want to do it yet. Although Alice said the other day 'We could get rid of Daddy's pants and socks as he won't need them any more and I bet he has ones with pictures of us on in heaven' :rotfl: she is such a star and so perceptive.

Thanks for the hugs and I love you sig it's o so true.

xx

Stormybay

Big massive ((((((((HUGS))))))) to you AnW's mum, it is so difficult, and as catz says, you must only do it when you are ready. you've found out that you are not too reasy yet, so that's fine, leave it a while.
Most of John's stuff is still in the bedroom and in his office. I did get rid of a load very early on, about a week after he died, I sort of did it in a temper as I was so angry at him for leaving us, but it was only junk sort of stuff and nothing that had any sentiment. Now, 8 months down the line, I find I can;t get rid of anything. So I guess whatever we do individually is normal to us personally! All very odd this grieving business.
I took the day off work today, as it was Rosie's first day at high school, and like you AnW'sMum, it is a very bitter sweet time, I so wanted her Dad to see her, and I'm sure somewhere, he did.
Thinking of you
Stormy
xxxxxx

AnW'sMum

Thanks Stormy, high school wow! How did she get on? (I imagine she did both you and John proud) I don't know where time has gone this year and especially this 6 weeks holiday. Everyone I have spoken to said the same, it has just flown by.

Glad you could have the day off work Stormy I am finishing work early tomorrow and Friday as William has only been part time so far this week. Tomorrow is the first full day. Plus on Friday I am going to make sure he is settled at mum's after school and then take Alice back to the bank with me. She has been hankering after coming for months, Ian would bring them on a Friday when he wasn't working and it was school hols. Obviously that can't happen now so I thought this would be a good chance as I don't have to use too much overtime (takes me weeks to accrue any useful amount) plus I am needed there at the end of the day.

jbatista

To you lovely ladies Big big hugs, I will post at the weekend with a great BIG post, I am just so
tired at the moment
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx(((((((((((HUGS)))))))xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Stormybay

Hello everyone, how are you all?
Sorry I've not been on here, I've been having a really odd time, contemplating, what's it all about, all that sort of thing. I think, at last (if that's the right expression!!!), I have finally realised that however hard I try, John is NOT coming back, and all the wishing, hoping and praying in the world will not change that fact. And what a sad fact is is, I can tell you. My children all seem to be coping well, my Rosie is in high school and seems to have settled down really well. Karl is head over heels in love and I hardly see him, Ben is away working in France, Jade is expecting again (yippee another life to be born in the aftermath, life goes on!), Jody has a new job, flat and dreams, so all is ok.
Me? Well, what can I say, I'm still lonely, still wondering what the hell happened, but the tears, for now have subsided and I decided to take control. I go to work, eat and sleep, which, actually, is quite good considering that I feel...........what's the point!
I have taken my house off the market and decided to spruce up this one instead. I went back to Turkey for a holiday with my sis in law, and no children!!!! We laughed, cried, drank, ate, danced and had a thouroughly great time, and in thge middle of all that, we bought a house there, as an investment!!!
Totally skint, totally mad and crazy, but what the heck..............It's fantastic, we have sorted everything out, have wonderful local lodgers in there and the deeds and keys in my pocket. John would have laughed his socks off, he knew me so well, and knows that all my life, I have been so impulsive, so typical me. The thought of him knowing is just wonderful. I feel like I have a project to work on now, and something, once again to look forward to. I can visit when I want (kept a bedroom free for me!), and feel like there is a little bit of me out there in the big wide world. I so hope my Dad and John know what I've done, I'm sure they would be so proud that I have squandered my savings and put them into brick and morter.
Well people, please post and let me know how you are all doing, I miss you all, you have been, and still are 'My bit of comfort in a hard world'. ....................Oh no, I'm crying again, but only because I'm surving YEY
Stormy
xxxxx

taxi73

Hi Stormy..not posted on here in ages and your post above made me smile...buying a house in Turkey what you like?...it's nice to see that you are starting to cope better now...Is Rosie any better (less clingy)since she started high school...it's such a bewildering time when they are going to start high school...just wondered if thats why she was clingy...take care xxx

Stormybay

Hiya Taxi,
Great to hear from you................ Rosie isn't too bad now, she stayed with my other daughter when I went to Turkey and I spoke to her on MSN almost every day, and she was fine, I actually think it was good for her to realise that I WILL come back, if I go away, she was worried that when her dad went to Liverpool, he never came back. But she was fine, and enjoyed her presents on my return!!! As they do. She is fine so far in high school and has been made sports captain for year 7, so she is chuffed to bits, her Dad wouldbe so proud, I can tell you. I think he's watching over her somewhere.
I've had a busy day sorting out all the paperwork for the house, but hey, it's done and I'm pretty excited about the whole experience.
Right, back to the ironing...........some things never change!
Love Stormy
xxxxx

Snaggles

Stormy, I am so happy to hear you sounding so positive, and your post made me a bit soggy round the edges too, but in a good way. The house in Turkey sound fantastic, and lovely news that there's a baby on the way. I could tell that some of it is very bittersweet for you, and maybe always will be, but you're right, life goes on, and you are living it to the best of your abilities. Yes, John would be proud of how his kids are doing, but I've a sneaky feeling he would be more than a little bit proud of how his wife is doing too.