Turnips and Truffles

ZTD

boredofbeingathome wrote: »

Well he spends a bit at the pub quiz and whitters money away on take- aways on the nights i am not here- he doesn't stick to his budget. The spar does a roaring trade in beer as well. I was surprised for example that he spends £3 here and there and it is all on the card- it is always in the same place and he admitted it was for coffees, sandwiches etc. He used to do that on his credit card- don't ask me why because i don't understand it as he paid interest on that.
It all mounts up- Mr.B doesn't do a spending diary, it is all on his statement. So at least he doesn't hide it.

Yes, but £700 clear is a *lot* of money to waste on "frittering" - some people are bringing up families on that.

Use the direct debit guarantee to get the payments back.

boredofbeingathome

I think that would be a good idea Beanie, especially since he spends a lot on takeaways-i am out at various things during the week so i do cook and leave meals, the only night i tend not to is a Thursday evening. I am trying to get ahead with planning meals so this doesn't happen. He has a long day as well- out at 7am and back at 7pm. So i understand spends as he needs to keep his energy up. I suggested he takes more food with him, which the past two days he has done. So a few little things are making their way in there. Once the account business is all sorted then it should happen fairly quickly as then he can see exactly how much he has- take out his spends and then pay things off more rapidly.

boredofbeingathome

ZTD wrote: »

Yes, but £700 clear is a *lot* of money to waste on "frittering" - some people are bringing up families on that.

Use the direct debit guarantee to get the payments back.

I am sure this is because some of the direct debits have shown at the beginning and end of the month. The bank statement doesn't go month end to month end, it goes from about the 27th- 27th. So there are a few things there. It is giving a false impression. He is contacting tomorrow and getting it sorted re DD. Also on looking back, it also seems like he has been paying one company twice in a month- so need to investigate this further. It will probably turn out that i have miscalculated a few things.

ZTD

boredofbeingathome wrote: »

It will probably turn out that i have miscalculated a few things.

But that could be plus OR minus...

boredofbeingathome

I probably need to look over 6 months to get a full idea, i can see where everything has been going then. The bank charges have varied as has his train fare-as in he has paid monthly but if that month has extra in, then he has needed to renew. There has also been other business related travel for which he was paid back, but also paid out in the first instance. It also does look like he has paid out twice on some things when the DD date fell at weird times. I have pointed it out to him so he needs to go back and tally a few things. In this case he hasn't had that much left over and although money has been left at the end of the month to reduce overdraft it has varied. Standing orders will probably be the way to go in the future, it is being aware of these things that will make the difference.

boredofbeingathome

Last month as well we paid up what we owed to last electric and gas as well as the DD. So that is some of the missing total and explains why he was down on amount left last month as it was about £250 in total plus DD which puts it over £300 then final payment of loan which will take up the full amount of money left. In the swings and roundabouts of money in and money out it should even itself this next month i hope.

That will stop me panicking now i know where it has gone-and the budget should work this month.

taxi73

looks like you're getting to the bottom of it...maybe he is too tired to deal with the money side so perhaps a seperate bill account will work better so that his bill money is out of the way first and then he can see what is left to pay his other stuff

Karmacat

Bob, it looks like a tremendous amount of detailed work you're putting in .... it sounds like its all getting clear for you now, I hope so anyway.

redsquirrel80

Definitely sounds like you're making a bit of progress. A separate bill account is a really good idea so it's sorted and he doesn't actually have to make an effort to transfer money around.

boredofbeingathome

taxi73 wrote: »

looks like you're getting to the bottom of it...maybe he is too tired to deal with the money side so perhaps a separate bill account will work better so that his bill money is out of the way first and then he can see what is left to pay his other stuff

Yes i agree, a lot of this is to do with the fact that he doesn't feel up to dealing with things and is tired. He says he is making an effort and he is, as the days are long for him. I did have a brief discussion with him last night as he said he knew how much it was getting to me- and he said he was shocked at how he starts off with good intentions and then tiredness gets in the way and the day is so busy for him. He admitted that he just wants to come home and spend time with family. But crucially he also said that now things are moving forward he appreciates how much i have done and that he feels guilty for leaving it all to me.

Squizz- The joint account was originally the bill account. I am debating that he just moves the money to the other account and we leave the joint account as the bill account but with extra money put in to clear the overdraft. It is constantly reducing by a certain amount every month so i think it may be a good move as i can see then that everything gets sorted. We both then feel more in control of money. It may of course not work like that but its a start.

KC- I see this as our next phase, putting things into practice that have been started. I also have to remember that Mr.B is still in a way coming to terms with a lot of this and he is at the beginning of a lot of things whereas i am on here a lot and have the benefit of being able to have all of your advice and support and encouragement. It would be good if he came on, but he is not a computer person and doesn't see why i enjoy it. :money::D