Advice on my GF

biscuits123

Thanks. I have approached the subject today and been told I am a broken record and that it will be paid. She said if I feel so bad about it why don't I jst have the balls to finish it

MyLastFiver

biscuits123 wrote: »

Thanks. I have approached the subject today and been told I am a broken record and that it will be paid. She said if I feel so bad about it why don't I jst have the balls to finish it

Wow. Your girlfriend sounds like a real catch.

McKneff

If you decide to finish it, get hold of one of her c/cards, take out your money (and your families)
give her it back, then get rid:D

dancingfairy

Great so she's blackmailling you as well now - basically saying stay in the relationship and I might (ie never pay you back) or dump me and say goodbye to the money. She sounds like a complete nightmare.
personally I think you should take a step back - 1) you won't loose any more money and 2) she'll either come to her senses and start to think things through more or she won't and you'll be better shot of her. If option 2 happens then you will probably have to consider a county court claim against her which will be difficult to prove you lent her the money and as to actually gettingthe money.... that's another matter altogether.
df

dancingfairy

McKneff wrote: »

If you decide to finish it, get hold of one of her c/cards, take out your money (and your families)
give her it back, then get rid:D

Yeah and then she'll try and press for theft or something. I also get a gut feeling that if the OP did press too hard for the money back she might just quit her job to avoid repaying it and move on to the next poor person - it has been known
df

backinbusiness

oh dear - pretty sad, and definately not the right one for you I think.

chalk it up to experience and pick better next time!

good luck

January20

She will not grow up financially until people stop lending her money. Why should she be sensible when you and numerous other people are willing to give her money? In a sense you are enabling her. You are part of the problem - sorry!

Do what I did with my teenager daughter (after all your gf behaves just like a spoilt teenager!), sit her down and say to her that from this day forward you and your family (make sure you pass the message on in your family too) will not lend her any money, no matter what she needs it for - And then learn to say NO!
No need to nag her, take her cards etc, especially if you don't (thankfully) live together, just be firm and consistent and keep saying "no".

CH27

biscuits123 wrote: »

Thanks for your responses guys.

It's a really difficult situation cause I want her to just grow up and be sensible with money. But then she says that I am always on this site and my internet banking and am obsessed with money! It's a vicious circle!

I don't want a life where I have to think about money all the time, I want to be able to pay for nice things and have my own place. Its just so hard to say no

The worst bit of the whole thing is the money that is owed to my family. Its a regular nagging point to me (which is fair enough) so I am now having to pay this back.

You have very different views of money.
Do you want to live your live in the long term with your girlfriend?
Anyone who borrows money & doesn't pay it back is very disrespectful of you.

biscuits123

CH27 i want our lives to continue together and for us to make a real go of things. we have been together for 2.5 years and get on really well except for the money thing.

I just want her to stop wasting money and get things sorted so we can sort our lives out. its really hurtful tht she doesnt care about the stress this is putting me under and the effect this is having on my relationship with the family member. do people ever change???

Shoe_Gal

In my honest opinion - not unless they want to Have just read the thread through and it sounds like your girlfriend doesn't want to change? Unless she does, she won't - so you will have to decide whether to stay with her, warts and all, or walk away