Advice on my GF

atush

I have read this thread and I feel for you.

But you either must lay down for her what she needs to do now (AA for a start) or you need to go your seperate ways.

I don't see how taking this seriously, nor changing, but if you want to give it one last chance lay dopwn an ultimatum. But make sure you hold the cards (literally and figuratively) or she may just go into'hiding debt mode'.

You may feel you love her, so probably do. But if you want to stay with someone who doens't love you enough to give up boozing with friends and spending your money (and your family's money) then you need to think again. Maybe a short sharp shock of a bucket of cold water will wake her up? I don't know, but if it doesn't, she doesn't love you. You need to go out an find someone who does.

tealady

How about turning this on its head. When she gets paid tell her you are skint and ask to borrow some money. If she gives it to you use it to repay your family. If/when she asks you to repay her use the same arguements she has with you.
If she won't lend you any money then it might tell you something.

Anglea

I wonder what the OP thinks about the replies it's been a while since they've posted..

monicamj

biscuits123 wrote: »

CH27 i want our lives to continue together and for us to make a real go of things. we have been together for 2.5 years and get on really well except for the money thing.

I just want her to stop wasting money and get things sorted so we can sort our lives out. its really hurtful tht she doesnt care about the stress this is putting me under and the effect this is having on my relationship with the family member. do people ever change???

People can change, but they have to want to. I'm sorry, she doesn't - she thinks the problem is you.

If you are determinded to stay with the little miss take all the precautions you can. Don't get any joint finances, don't borrow money in your name to lend to her, don't move in with her unless she can stump up half the moving costs and don't give her money when she has ran out.

If she isn't just after what you can give her (money wise) she will stay despite the financial restrictions.

Good luck - you're going to need it

(BTW been there, done that - it's not fun)

Hazzinho

Sounds like she'll keep taking money. i would suggest you forget about the money you lent, you wont get it back. if she goes out instead of paying a bit of money back she doesn't care. if you stop lending money she'll give you the gilt trip. i suspect you're in your early 20's. i suggest you think long term, i've never been asked to lend money in my life and wouldn't expect to.