Frugal Frump to Fab/Winter Solstice

floss2

Well I was going to but I'm not now so there

No fabbing done today - I normally have a nice 10-15 minute, 3 mile journey home....today I went to visit my best friends in my old town 50 miles away, and then went to Manchester to take DS2 out for tea whilst dropping off his Christmas deccies...then drove home again. I spent 3 1/2 hours in the car, and drove 129 miles. Am now knackered and off to bed...does beauty sleep count?!

lessonlearned

Just a quickie to say hello & welcome Caterina. Lovely name.

It's never to late to be fabulous and don't forget we will still be here next year;)

So - if you're a little plumper for Christmas - well it's no biggie. That doesn't mean you have to be a complete frump. You've got a few weeks to concentrate on grooming, smelling gorgeous, building up a skincare routine etc, a bit of healthy eating to get you started and a little bit of exercise if you can fit it in.

If you can, try and sort out a couple of nice outfits that make you feel good, add a bit of jewellery or a nice scarf to up the fab factor.

Anyway, you sound as if you've made a cracking start.

Have you tried using bi-carb to help whiten your teeth. A couple of times a week should be enough - it's the active ingredient of all those posh whitening toothpastes such as Arm & Hammer etc.

Yes I think our friend "Cary Grant" was a scammer :rotfl:

He'll have to do better than that to catch us out - we're all far too savvy to fall for the likes of him.;)

vns - sorry to hear about your mum and dad. It must be very difficult for you. Hope you mum feels better soon and that your dad's assessment proves helpful.

I've often heard our generation being referred to the "Sandwich" generation. On the one hand we have our own children and sometimes grandchildren too to worry and fret over and on the other hand we have our own ageing parents to keep an eye on too.

This is, of course, in addition to our own health/jobs/spouses etc - no wonder we have so little time for "us".

You're right Sophistica - no more lugging wheelchairs around for me. I'm also gradually coming round to the idea of less DIY and more GSI (Get Someone In). I'm still happy enough to paint though however, yes I do feel less inclined to grapple with the really "heavy" jobs now.

I think a good way forward for me would be to try and get my antiques/bric a brac business going so that I can pay for the renovation works to my house rather than taking on too much myself. I do enjoy it though but I think it's time for common sense to prevail.:rotfl:

My mum made an interesting comment recently. She said I really ought to pay someone to help me do a heavy clean now and again. As she pointed out it would be cheaper to pay someone to do a thorough clean say once a month than it would be for me to have to keep paying for physio. She is absolutely right of course.

As we all know - Mum's do really know best - even when they are 86 and getting slightly dotty. Bless her.:rotfl: I may be 60 but I'm still her baby and she still worries about me.

Thank you for all your tips to help ease my backache - I've been using ice and heat, heavy duty paracetamol, haven't resorted to the amiltryptaline just yet - trying to do without. I think it's starting to ease slightly. Physio tomorrow - so that should help a bit.

A couple we have been friends with for years (one of the few that I now consider to be real friends) invited me out for dinner tonight. I had to ring up today to postpone because of my back.

Anyway S. that G. had mentioned that I was considering the north cape cruise and she asked if she could come with me. That would be really fab - apart from the fact that we get on well and she would be a great travelling companion, it means I wouldn't have to travel alone or indeed pay the single person supplement which can be quite hefty.

Anyway it's nearly bed time. G'night all, sleep well. X

maman

:wave:Quick post from me, I always seem to leave it so late!

I was so pleased to read that people are keeping their Christmas spending down this year. I hate it when people overstretch themselves. We've limited ourselves (few years now) to grandchildren, a few other children in the family and a few token gifts for friends. I just have this aversion to buying 'stuff'. Plus lots of nice food and anything we spend on going out and about enjoying ourselves:D I'm not overenamoured with going out this time of the year as food and service in restaurants can be carp but maybe will improve this year as they really need our money! That being said, I'm out to lunch on Thursday and for dinner next Monday.

No fabbing done today except for good, healthy food. I've just been pottering about doing domestic stuff. Tomorrow will be different! I'm planning to have a complete pamper session in the morning including feet.

Do keep looking after yourself LL. I'm glad you're starting to develop a sensible attitude to heavy work. I did need to resort to amitryptiline when I had that disc problem and while it did the trick, I was like a zombie for days. Lovely idea to go off on cruise, something to look forward to in 2012.

Hope you had a good evening in London MrsW and the club wasn't disappointing. Podperson, I think your carol singing sounds great, if I was nearer I'd come and listen to you! I did have a quick look around the Christmas market in Arras on Friday but as I've been there before it wasn't the main purpose of our trip. We have a good one local to us so I might try and go there one evening, apparently it's really lovely all lit up. I need something to get me going, can't say I feel very Christmassy at all.

Talking of our trip, I'm not sure if I said we went with DH's sister and her husband and DH's brother and his new partner. DH did all the planning, booking etc as he always does. However I think he's getting a bit fed up with it and tells me he'd rather we went on our own. It ends up a bit like we're tour guides where we're having to organise everyone and try to please everybody. No one considers what we might like to do!! I don't think it would do any harm to be a bit selfish (it seems other people are really good at it;)). BIL's new partner wasn't exactly a hit either. She's pleasant enough but BIL is ridiculously besotted with her and she's very loud. Not my type at all. BIL was widowed a little while ago so it's a bit uncomfortable for us all.

Thanks for listening to my moaning. I did actually have a good time at the champagne house and great meals and DH got to do a little bit of his genealogy so it wasn't all bad.

Did I say this was a quick post???:o
'night all.

bratz81

morning all. I haven't been fabbing as much as I've been trying to get a load of knitting done for people and sort of Xmas gifts. I don't actually celebrate Xmas, and if I had the choice I wouldn't buy gifts for anyone. But people in this country just assume everyone celebrates it and buys gifts - so I have to buy back.
The fianc! celebrates it though so I get presents from both of us and he pays for half of them so it's less effort wrapping them and I don't feel quite as annoyed at having to buy for people. Am seriously thinking of telling people to stop being so bl00dy insensitive and buying for me, especially when they've been told I don't celebrate it.

Whoops, bit of a rant there, sorry! I've been growing my nails recently and if I don't have polish on them I go back to biting (bad me!) so I always try to have some form of polish on them - right now it's a very pale glittery pink as I can whack on one coat and then it's sorted - handy when I'm rushing about like a headless chicken!

lessonlearned

Good morning everyone

Well its all a bit woe is me this morning. Didn't sleep too well - now have a whopping headache and I've had to cancel my physio appt because I just can't face it, probably can't drive that far anyway. Probably won't manage to visit OH either.

Never mind - will just crack on and get those Christmas cards done.

There's a theme I'm noticing in your posts - mainly about Christmas but it also affects us in a wider sense - and that is how we all seem to find ourselves in a position where we are bending over backwards to please others and never managing to think about our needs/desires/feelings.

What should have been a thoroughly enjoyable trip for Maman ended up being spoilt somewhat by trying to please everyone. I know you did enjoy your break Maman but it sounds as if wasn't quite as carefree and relaxing as it should have been. And Bratz being coerced into doing things that she doesn't really believe in - it just doesn't seem right.

I really admire your stand Sophistica - I really must follow your lead on this one and be a little more steadfast .

I didn't mention this yesterday but the guy from SS really upset me. He banged on and on about how from the SS's point of view they wanted to help people stay at home. I said I understood and this was all very commendable and yes, of course both OH and I would much rather he stayed at home but that is just no longer feasible. Still he argued, I pointed out that we were taking this step on the advice from all OH's medical team, that it was a decision based on "medical factors".

Still he argued saying that SS take no notice of Dr's reports etc and that they can only go on what the "client" wants. (notice no use of the word "patient"). Or - get this - in the case of Carer Breakdown.

What if the "client" is confused and unco-operative - it just doesn't make sense.

He then went on to say that we could have the house adapted, additional funding for even more carers and yet when I asked for a standing hoist he ummed and ahhed. I pointed out that OH was now at serious risk of falls and could easily end up with broken bones as a result.

I also pointed out that we would only be postponing the inevitable - OH would at some point become bedridden, doubly incontintent and needing oxygen and that he had already told me that SS couldn't provide night care.

I told him that the council would be paying roughly £20,000 for adaptations and there was no guarantee that we would get any real benefit for long enough to make it cost justified. That OH could easily further decline within months.

He said it didn't matter - the cost was not part of the equation, that they were well aware that home care was considerably more expensive than a nursing home and that all that mattered was the client's wishes. They could not breach the client's human rights.

TBH honest I felt thoroughly bullied, that I was betraying OH's wishes etc. What worries me is that this guy is going to come out with all of this next time he sees OH. It will just upset him and give him false hope that he can stay at home.

Yesterday I was tearful and upset after that meeting, now I've had time to think it over I am quietly seething. I've reached the stage where I just want it all to be over. I just wanted to have a nice family Christmas and then make OH's move to care as smooth and as painless as possible. Instead all I have is aggravation and stress. It is an absolute total and utter nightmare.

Sorry for the rant ladies but I just feel at rock bottom.

I am definitely going to take a leaf from your books on this one Sophistica. I am not going to give into the SS's bullying tactics just to comply with their Politically Correct dogma. Of course I don't want OH to go into care - the absolute idiots - who would.

We've long since past the "ifs" it's now "when" and the when is now. TBH I should have done this months ago - but hindsight is a wonderful thing.

Oh well - time to have a bath to see if I can loosen up a little. I do need to pop to the chemist for OH's meds - its only a few minutes in the car so should manage that ok.

Sorry for letting off steam like that - I feel slightly better for it though:rotfl:

lizzie157

awww LL- have a hug :grouphug:. How awful for you to have to put up with such an insensitive pr*ck. I know its easy for me to say but stick to your guns and do what's right for your family.( i know that it would set me off thinking again about if i was doing the right thing) Surely they can see that it's affecting your health and this obviously would get worse as time went on. Why is it these people seem to make it their aim to make everything as difficult as possible for all concerned, i thought they were supposed to be there to help.! Look after yourself and get yourself right and let off steam all you want.

There's a theme I'm noticing in your posts - mainly about Christmas but it also affects us in a wider sense - and that is how we all seem to find ourselves in a position where we are bending over backwards to please others and never managing to think about our needs/desires/feelings.


This is me to a t. A few years ago we told everyone not to buy for us just for the kids as because we have lots of relatives it comes expensive. It only lasted afew years and we're back to square 1 - its such a headache and when you know that you are most probably wasting your money on stuff they don't want -its all the more a headache. I just think of what everyone could do with the money they waste on unwanted pressies. All a bit baah humbag -sorry it just takes the enjoyment out of it for me. For me the best part of xmas is having all my family together at the same time for a few hours - I know that has the kids have their own families this may not be possible for much longer so i aim to enjoy it while i can. :j

Went to the counselling this week and have another appointment booked for next week. Found it quite difficult to think of the things she asked me to - might be an idea to make a note of any situations i've found difficult or felt i could have handled differently, or answers to her questions i thought of when i got home. As soon as i sat at home i kept thinking ooooh forgot this.

Love to you all
am off to sort some more clutter out - although thinking of all the things i need to do cos there's only just over 2 weeks left to xmas and i've not written 1 card yet :eek:- i could go on another rant :rotfl:

maman

lizzie157 wrote: »

awww LL- have a hug :grouphug:. How awful for you to have to put up with such an insensitive pr*ck.

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::T:T:T


This is me to a t. A few years ago we told everyone not to buy for us just for the kids as because we have lots of relatives it comes expensive. It only lasted afew years and we're back to square 1 - its such a headache and when you know that you are most probably wasting your money on stuff they don't want -its all the more a headache. I just think of what everyone could do with the money they waste on unwanted pressies. All a bit baah humbag -sorry it just takes the enjoyment out of it for me. For me the best part of xmas is having all my family together at the same time for a few hours - I know that has the kids have their own families this may not be possible for much longer so i aim to enjoy it while i can. :j

Went to the counselling this week and have another appointment booked for next week. Found it quite difficult to think of the things she asked me to - might be an idea to make a note of any situations i've found difficult or felt i could have handled differently, or answers to her questions i thought of when i got home. As soon as i sat at home i kept thinking ooooh forgot this.

Love to you all
am off to sort some more clutter out - although thinking of all the things i need to do cos there's only just over 2 weeks left to xmas and i've not written 1 card yet :eek:- i could go on another rant :rotfl:

What a super feisty post lizzie, you're obviously up for it today!!!

Surely LL, your clapped out back is a casualty of 'Carer Breakdown'??? It'll be a difficult conversation but you obviously need to talk to DH before this idiot does. Perhaps you could talk it through when his doctor or someone from the care home staff is present to back you up?

Totally agree about the presents, fortunately my DD1 is an even bigger hater of 'stuff' than I am. It was her idea to only buy for children and she's a formidable young lady!! I know DD2 still buys loads of carp but she doesn't do it for our side of the family, so that's her problem.

I was only meant to be on here googling 'Olly Murs new album' for DGD1:o so, 'in case you didn't know' I'll be off to do a bit of shopping. See you all later!

verynewmoneysaver

I think social services are totally unrealistic. When Mum was in hospital the social worker there wanted Mum to go straight to the bungalow instead of into sheltered housing. It seems that their policy is to keep people in their own homes no matter what. Mum wasn't managing in the old bungalow. She was really ill with a heart condition, and soical services only gave her half an hour's help a day. She was at Dad's beck and call, and he was really nasty to her. They did offer her 10 days respite in a nursing home but Dad refused to let her go in. In the end she fell and broke her arm. There's no way I'd let her go back to that situation. Stick to your guns LL. We know our relatives and their situation best of all.

fedupandskint

Sounds tough to cope with all of this atm LL - a virtual hug sent over to you and I hope your back feels better soon.

As for me, went for a run tonight and a long dog walk so exercise has gone well this week. Another collegue told me I looked thiner today but I certainly don't feel it. I don't think I've lost anything at all and I hope I haven't put anything on - will find out on Friday anyway

Tonight is usual skincare routine and nail oil massage then tomorrow will be hair treatment and mask as didn't have time this morning and its manicure time ready for work Christmas do on Friday. Let me see if I can transform into a swan!

sophistica

Hi LL, I am going to PM you with the email that I sent to SS when they declined funding for my mother in a nursing home and wanted to send her home with an increased care package. Hopefully, this will help you to make your case. SS is not considering your health and sanity in all of this? They are assuming that you will make the personal sacrifice required to bail them out! BTW the criteria for the decision is whether the patient/client would be AT RISK if they were sent home. Personally I wouldn't have your OH at home for Christmas as this is sending the message that you can cope - but I know that is a tough call.