Frugal Frump to Fab/Winter Solstice

verynewmoneysaver

Well done Fedupandskint. You must be delighted. It seems a very stressful time for lots of us at the moment. I'm glad your OH was so sensible and reasonable LL. It's a great idea to volunteer at the home too. I expect they were delighted as you sound very practical and talented. Dad is giving Mum a really hard time about coming out of the sheltered housing and going to the bungalow. He says she is just being lazy and wants to be waited on, but she can't do much because of her heart problem. He seems depressed, I had a word with his doctor but she says antidepressants aren't suitable for the elderly as they can make them fall. She has done a blood test to rule out physical causes. The house manger is aware and is keeping an eye on things. Anyway on the Fab front I'm dressing smartly when I go out and putting my makeup on. Also remembering to use body lotion after bathing which has helped my skin.

Savvy_sewing

:T:T:T:T:T

fedupandskint wrote: »

I DID IT!

TARGET WEIGHT REACHED!

Sorry for shouting but I have the biggest grin on my face now! It's taken since May and I've reached it somehow. Now the hard work begins to not regain it over the next 7mths

Well done!

fedupandskint

Thank you!

This thread is fab and divine. I am so proud of being a graduate. It has helped me stay on track, keep at it and best of all put a coat of lipstick on in the morning before I set off to work.

All the changes have been great - keep up a skincare routine, fit in time for a face mask, apply nail oil daily and wear jewellery I own and wear make up I own. I did it with little steps then the lipstick was the final step towards graduation.

And the diet plan helped with the exercise and food changes - eat 5 portions fruit and veg daily - have done this for most days since the summer

And this thread takes a big congratulations from me to stay on track and keep at it. If I can do it anyone can and just try the little steps at first and build up to fitting in one more a week or month depending on how you feel

Love to all x

lizzie157

Originally Posted by fedupandskint
I DID IT!

TARGET WEIGHT REACHED!

Sorry for shouting but I have the biggest grin on my face now! It's taken since May and I've reached it somehow. Now the hard work begins to not regain it over the next 7mths

Well done! !:T:T

Molly, and Mooloo,

:grouphug: sorry you are feeling low and struggling. I 'm probably the last one to give advice about this as I find myself feeling like this
at times but have a wallow, rest if needed and then just try and do something you enjoy. i find this helps a bit.

To anyone else that needs one :grouphug: have a hug.

LL
you sound much better sounds like you're looking forward. The volunteering sounds like a great idea. wouldn't mind doing something like that myself. Will have alook round after xmas and see what I can do.( i always intended to do some voluntary work then anyway).

Am not feeling too bad at the moment - still having some down days but managing to control it - being busy helps. Seems like another friend has decided to back off from me - her last words were she'd text me in a couple of weeks about meeting up at hers ,and not heard from her since -that was about 6 weeks ago. She knows i sometimes struggle with low mood and yes I know she may be busy with xmas etc. but to me still a bit thoughtless on her part. But I had decided to back off myself so instead of getting in touch ( as I would have previously ), I'm leaving it. She was someone who after I see her tends to leave me feeling low anyway - so maybe its a good thing.

On the fabbing front haircut later and maybe zumba not sure yet.
Anyway back to the de-cluttering - its going quite well my living room's looking really tidy and homely.

see you all later. x

sophistica

Hi Everyone. There seems to be some pre-Christmas malaise and low spirits doing the rounds. Cheer up everyone...another month and the festive season will be over, the Sales will be on, we'll probably be knee deep in snow and looking forward to Spring.

Well done, Lizzie for following your hunches re your "frenemy"...who needs people like that? Friendship is like a game of tennis, it takes both parties to hit the ball back over the net and if she is not getting in touch, you shouldn't be chasing. And if she leaves you feeling low, what is the point? I don't know why it is so hard to make new friends when you get older. I really struggle these days to find anyone who I have anything in common with. And my energy for pursuing friendships is low, can't be bothered with anyone in the provinces or over the other side of London, or who requires high maintenance!

On the fabbing side of things ...nothing yet...but I am about to have a bath and do my hair and makeup and wear something nice and co-ordinated.

Lesson Learned...I have been thinking about you today. How about a BIG PLAN to get you energised? The trouble with small plans, coffee with friends, a part time job etc is that I can't get my mind behind it. I like big plans....here I am thinking of a new, very profitable business, a trip to Cambodia and the Far East and learning Italian in a Year. As far as I am concerned the bigger the better. I have always been of the view that there is no point in me aiming at the bottom rung of a ladder, best to aim for the top, I may not get there, but I will have got further than aiming for the bottom. Your low mood is possibly a form of grieving for a life that you have sadly lost...but there is a new life waiting for you in the wings, with lots of magic and new and exotic experiences and we just need to dream it and do it.

mugwump79

Have been lurking recently, as not really done anything to warrant a frump to fab post but...

my goodness Sophistica your post has hit me like a thunderbolt and I want to think BIG!!

I am going to put my thinking cap on for the next few days and sort myself some goals for next year, to be homest this year has been horrendous so I really want to make up for it next year, sort myself out, lose weight and most important I guess, just be happy being me which i haven`t for a very long time.


Do you know what I have realised today, there is only me who can do it for me, I am so used to worrying and looking after everyone that I have well and truly fallen by the wayside, NOT ANY MORE!!

:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T

sophistica

Another concept that people may find useful is OPT (Other People's Time). A lot of us are feeling overloaded, me especially. I find it very difficult to get anything done if it is just down to me. Now I focus on "systems'. By that I mean getting things done automatically so I don't need to be involved e.g. Direct Debits and Standing Orders, Couriers for collecting things, Cleaners and Gardeners, Meals-On-Wheels, Dial-a-Ride etc. I have just been thinking over my dad's gardener situation. The gardener is a top bloke but he can't get to my dad's on public transport so I have to take him there. This means he wants to work a full day (ie. a £100) and it takes a day of my time...so a pretty useless arrangement. Whereas the cleaner is brilliant, I pay the company by direct debit and they send someone each week. I am now thinking of how to ramp up this concept to free even more time!

lessonlearned

sophistica wrote: »

Lesson Learned...I have been thinking about you today. How about a BIG PLAN to get you energised? The trouble with small plans, coffee with friends, a part time job etc is that I can't get my mind behind it. I like big plans....here I am thinking of a new, very profitable business, a trip to Cambodia and the Far East and learning Italian in a Year. As far as I am concerned the bigger the better. I have always been of the view that there is no point in me aiming at the bottom rung of a ladder, best to aim for the top, I may not get there, but I will have got further than aiming for the bottom. Your low mood is possibly a form of grieving for a life that you have sadly lost...but there is a new life waiting for you in the wings, with lots of magic and new and exotic experiences and we just need to dream it and do it.

This is very interesting.

Actually I do have a big plan but haven't posted it here yet because I haven't been able to make a start. Like Pod Person I have joined the Millionaire Challenge - it's on the "Up Your Income" thread if anyone is interested. Lighthearted but with an underlying current of resolve and seriousness.

Now for me its' not actually about making a million. I'm not putting a figure to it - it's about rebuilding my finances. I'll not go into details now but I do have thoughts buzzing around.

You're right and I know this may sound a little frivolous but OH and I do both grieve for our lost lives, both past and present and of course the future is not even remotely the one we had hoped and planned for.

My big problem is that for the past 6 years - right from OH's early days of illness I have had to micro-manage every aspect of his care, not just physical care but all the hospital appts, seeing consultants etc. It's left me very little time for anything else. This will change once OH goes into care and I've had time to rest and recharge my batteries.

At every stage of the way, as far as Social Services are concerned, the help and support they have offered has always been far too little, far too late. Because of this I've had to give up a good career in the construction industry and OH had to give up his business.

With the right care packages in place from the early days OH could have run his business for much longer and I could still be working now or could have taken over his business.

I could have done some training to take over the more technical aspects of his business or even taken on a partner or employees. There are several routes we could have taken. He was an IT consultant and business advisor, so systems are all his thing.

We could have continued to be independent. Instead we've lost more money than I care to even think about and it's all been so unnecessary. I know money isn't everything but as we all know you can't get far without it. We've have had to plunder our pensions and savings and sell valuable assets at firesale prices in order to survive.

My Aunty S was so right - never rely on the State.

My big plan is to rebuild.

I have no intention of "retiring" ever. I want to be in a position where I can be running a business which can be scaled down as and when, or as you say have systems in place so that I don't need to micro-manage everything.

I want to rebuild my finances so that I can give the boys a leg up.

In the past I simply haven't been able to trust OH's care to anyone else - now I've found the right nursing home I will be able to relax that side of things knowing that he is safe and well cared for. This is why I am so adamant that the time is now - I'm not prepared to risk losing this place, while SS continue to faff around.

I'm liking the sound of the trip to Cambodia. We had a family trip to China before OH became ill. Fascinating.

I also intend to learn Italian next year. I did learn at school so hopefully it will be more of a refresher. I taught myself Spanish a few years ago and the languages are quite similar.

Lizzie - good for you about your "frenemy". Who needs 'em. Cherish any good friends, cherish your family - the rest can whistle.

!!!!!! - atta girl. Only we can make the changes necessary. Think big yes, take small steps and you will reach your goals.

Keep fabbing - it will be the best foundation from which to launch the "New You".

vns - what a worry for you re your mum and dad. Hope things get resolved soon.

Must go - have sat too long, my back is complaining.:eek: X

Joan49

I wish I'd found this thread a few months ago. I picked up a book in a charity shop called fabulous in a fortnight by Monica Grenfell and it is based on a similar theme to this, except here there is some fantastic support. I'm quite pleased with myself because I've managed to lose 10lb in the last two months, got another 12lb to go to reach my target, but I needed some motivation to get stared on the beauty regime. Will there be a new thread in the New year ? I'd love to join in.

Skymist

WOW Sparkles......you're really ready and set to "Sparkle" your way through Xmas and New Year now....that's BRILLIANT!!!

I'm so glad to read that you and OH have sorted out things between you LL....that must surely be a load off your mind, and now all you have to do is let your poor stress-ravaged body heal, so that you can get back into a positive mindset, withought people like that SS b@$!@*d upsetting your equilibrium!! Hope you're on the healing road at last.

Poor you Mooloo...hope you recover your get-up-and-go really soon!

PP, hope your chior singing goes well...especially now that the 160mph gales have blown away!!!

lizzie, sounds like you're well rid of that emotional vampire!!! No-one needs people like that in their life!!!

sophistica

sophistica wrote: »

I really struggle these days to find anyone who I have anything in common with.And my energy for pursuing friendships is low, can't be bothered...

I'm with you there!! So, I've retrained myself to be happy as I am, and if the universe sends someone into my life that does become a good friend, then I will be truely grateful. If not, I will survive, AND stay content, with all that I already have! I also really like your "Big Plan" attitude!

On the fabbing front, staying warm is taking precedence, and as I have the luxury of spending a lot of time on my own, I can afford to just be comfortable!!!LOL

Hi Joan and welcome, AND WELL DONE with your new 10 pound lighter body! And LL has said that this wonderful thread WILL continue!!:T

To all you girls who are feeling down/stressed/ill or who are in some sort of negative situation, I hope that you all start to feel better soon, no matter what negative you presently occupy. Much love to you all.

S