Frugal Frump to Fab/Winter Solstice

sophistica

LessonsLearned I say be upbeat about the nursing home. Recently we had to put my mother in a nursing home (84) and leave my dad who has mild brain damage (90) in the family home. We were dreading it and terrified. Well it has been an outstanding success. The home is like a 4 star hotel. My mother loves it. Instead of being filthy, depressed and shouting at the carers she is serene and had her hair and nails done once a week. My dad is now at a day centre where he is making new friends. It could end up being the best thing that you have ever done.
Now, I need to lose a shed load of weight and I am getting nowhere with it...any advice will be very welcome - otherwise I am in for a gastric band.

lessonlearned

Hi there - back again - sorry it's all a bit disjointed but then again that's the way life is sometimes.

Hi Sophistica - thanks for your advice re the nursing home. Am glad things worked out so well for your family. You're right a good nursing home can be an absolute godsend - only time will tell if we've got the right one. As OH puts it - the proof of the pudding ..........

Re the carers you're right there too - just double checked OH's teeth when the evening carer had supposedly cleaned them. They were filthy, have just done them again. :mad::mad:

Some of them make me so angry. I know they don't get paid a kings ransom but have they no pride in their jobs or even just a little compassion for their charges. I sometimes feel like lining them up against a wall and shooting the lot of them.

How dare they treat people this way - at least your mum and dad have you and OH has me - what about all those poor devils who have no-one to watch over them. Sorry - rant over.

Re the gastric band - Sophistica - I'm no medical expert here but it seems so drastic. Can you give it one more go and try and lose weight without surgery. A slimming club may be just the answer for you - unless of course you really do have to go the surgical route for health reasons. What does your GP think. It will perhaps be slower but more pleasant and less risky.

I'm sure that anyone of us on here will be happy to be your diet buddies rather than see you go through a surgical procedure. Just keep reading and posting, there are also a number of diet support threads too.

JB - lovely to hear from you - and it's nice to see that you are feeling well and positive. It's good that you are managing to start "nesting" again - it will help you to have your home and surroundings all nice and ship-shape again. You're spot on when you say your husband would want you to do this - he will want you to be happy and comfortable. I know OH will encourage me to put our house "back to rights" when he moves into care.

It's interesting when you say that you are feeling liberated and you are beginning to rediscover "you" - I've been thinking along the same lines too.

Now that I can see a way forward I can start thinking about how I want my retirement to pan out. It's going to be rather different from the one OH and I had envisaged.

For a long time I couldn't foresee much of a future at all. My future will still include my darling husband for as long as he is still alive but, and I do have to be realistic, once he is in care, there will be parts of my life that will by definition be spent alone.

I need to rethink how I will live and how my future will pan out. Scary stuff but, freed from the heavy duty nursing and care, I'm sure I will be able to carve out a fulfilling life for myself. Need to make a plan.;)

Anyway enough of my prattle - how I rabbit on. Had a lovely time sitting in the garden with OH today - the sun was just heavenly. So just making the most of these next few days. My bedroom declutter can wait a few days longer.:rotfl:

Ate well and healthily today - feeling a bit better already - so made a good start.

Off to bed now G'night all x

Willow92

I also need to learn how to take compliments and not to think about them meaning too much. When I was younger, people used to say things like "nice hair" sarcastically so when someone says that now I always think about whether they mean it or not and think way too much.... Does that make sense?

lessonlearned

One last thing.

PD - Glad to hear from you, don't worry too much weight gain etc - I was like a baby elephant - put 4.5 stone on with my first child. It did come off though.

Just keep well, healthy and happy. As for the constant peeing and backache - well that's just par for the course I'm afraid. Take it easy.

Have you picked out any names yet, have you started "nesting". Any unusual cravings.

I told my OH my cravings included "diamonds & emeralds" - he wouldn't buy it.:D

lolly101

Hey Everyone

Not posted for a while (been lurking though, lol) as I feel like a bit of a fraud posting on here! I haven't been keeping up with things and don't feel fab at all at the moment. I won't bore you with the details, but there have been a fair few 'family dramas' over here so things have been slipping.

To be fair, I am doing a lot more than I would have done without you all - I'm moisturising after bathing, getting my 'beauty box' out and pampering myself a bit when I'm watching TV, etc. It's not been everyday, but is a lot more often than before I found the thread!
Really need to up my efforts though, and desperately need to sort my winter wardrobe out (been inspired by the recent chat). I went shopping today but didn't find anything suitable, and actually found it a chore :eek: That is so not me!!!

Did anyone watch Gok tonight? (Gok's Clothes Roadshow, I think). I saw an ad for it, but missed the show. I love Gok's fashion shows though, he gives some great ideas for sprucing up outfits rather than buying new, and sometimes inspires me to try clothes that I wouldn't normally wear. Will make it my homework to watch it (and any previous episodes - not sure if it's new or not?) on 4oD.

floss2

Willow92 wrote: »

I also need to learn how to take compliments and not to think about them meaning too much. When I was younger, people used to say things like "nice hair" sarcastically so when someone says that now I always think about whether they mean it or not and think way too much.... Does that make sense?

Just say "Thank you" with a smile, no need to mention if your outfit came from a charity shop

vasseur

lessonlearned wrote: »

Polesalot - Hope you didn't think I was being flippant. I do understand how a lack of confidence/or self esteem can bring us down and affect the way we view our relationships.

However, I do think that sometimes we women have a slight tendency to over-analyse our relationships - whereas men - simple uncomplicated beings that they are - just get on with things.


I also think that for many of us - we do actually grow in confidence as we get older - one of the pluses of aging.:rotfl: Well there has to be an upside.

I think becoming confident can be practised and worked on - start by learning how to accept those compliments!!. Don't look for deeper meanings or significance just accept them at face value - does wonders for the ego.

One thing I have learned is that confidence and beauty don't always go together. There are many beautiful women who are deeply insecure.

Thanks LL - I didn't think you were being flippant at all. You've also (as usual ) got it bang on when you say that women over analyse things. This is me down to a T. I look for hidden meanings in absolutely everything

Must relax more....one of the blokes at work said he dreamt about me when he was on holiday :eek: I just laughed it off :rotfl:

Happy Wednesday everyone. It is lovely here and I am going to have a dip in the pool in the grounds before it's closed up for the winter.

podperson

Morning all, goodness - lots to catch up on!

Molly - yay on the clothes sorting - I really need to go through mine. Did a mini-sort a few months ago but need to start digging out the winter stuff again I guess so a good excuse for a clear out. Fingers crossed for you on the op!

Betony - good luck with SW :T

Poles - hope you're feeling a bit better about OH, as LL says he's with because he wants to be, because he sees that you are an amazing person and since we struggle to see ourselves clearly then try to accept that he will be able to see your good points much easier! Could you make some plans with friends or something this weekend, then you don't feel like you're just sat around the house wishing he was there iyswim?

PD - sounds like you're doing well too - can't expect things to be perfect when you're getting cravings all over the place (use the excuse while you can! :rotfl:) Hope everything is going well with LO.

Jelly - sounds like you doing brilliantly, sending you *hugs* can't be easy to start moving on but I'm sure your OH was a wonderful person and would want you to have the happiest life possible x

Sophistica - welcome! Regarding the weight loss, I agree a gastric band sounds rather drastic! What have you been trying at the moment? I'm finding fairly healthy eating, cut down on snacks and most of all exercise is going well for me - I'm loving the 30 day shred. Well, actually I'm hating it as it kills me but does seem to be giving results :rotfl:I would steer well clear of any fad diets as the weight just seems to go straight back on again As LL said, happy to be diet buddies if you think it would help

Lolly - it sounds like you have been keeping up with loads so don't be so hard on yourself - I think 'real life' can often get in the way of us having the time to work on our fabness! I missed Gok as well - I do like the Clothes Roadshow but must admit I end up laughing at some of his 'high street outfits' where his poor tailor must have spent about 5 hours altering it and sewing on sequins and chains and extra bits - I just think, who is going to have the time to spend on doing that at home??

LL - glad you're sounding positive, big *hugs* to you and OH.


Anyway, went to portrait class on Monday, which I really enjoyed but was very challenging. Then choir last night so very little time for fabness I'm getting a little worried have taken a bit much on - have portrait class and choir once a week, my film group every 2 weeks (can skip that if necessary I suppose but do enjoy it) then my OU course is starting in about 2 weeks and on top of that have my various money-making bits and stuff to do to help OH. Think I definately need to be organised and unfortunately is not one of my strong points Was going to try and get a head start on my OU reading tonight but since haven't seen OH for the last 2 nights think we might need to have a night together instead. Bless him, he's always very supportive and tells me to go to things but I know being in the house on his own really doesn't help him and some of his friends seem to be rather unavailable at the moment, which is annoying me quite a bit as OH is always the first one to be there for them if they need anything.
Anyway, hope everyone has a great day x

betony

Well, this is my first whole day on my SW Extra Easy plan, though I did have a huge plateful of 'free' foods for my dinner last night - couldn't believe I could ever eat sooo much on a diet! I can see my biggest hurdle will be not having 2 or 3 biccies with every cup of tea. Does anyone have any tips or suggestions to get me over that one?

I am so glad I found this inspirational thread, love to you all :kisses3:

vasseur

betony wrote: »

I can see my biggest hurdle will be not having 2 or 3 biccies with every cup of tea. Does anyone have any tips or suggestions to get me over that one?

Don't drink tea?

Sorry I can't really help. I have almost 2 sugars in my tea and have always thought that the only way to cut down on the sugar was to cut down on the cups of tea I have

It's probably a case of getting used to it after a week or two of doing it (or not as the case may be:D)