Father's Day

Newly_retired

Forgetting it was Father's Day I asked my married son if I could go for Sunday lunch on 19th. He replied that as it was Father's Day they would be celebrating with the in-laws. Not sure why I couldn't have been included in the family get-together.
I don't know what to say to him next time we speak. Guess I'd better just let it pass.

LegalBlonde

r u a mum or a dad??

Ginger_Poodle

I spent Fathers Day with my in-laws, but there is nothing I would have loved more than to spend it with my mum or dad. Sadly that is no longer possible for me and my sister. I am not sure if you are a man or lady but either way, your son has behaved in a thoughtless manner. Hopefully he will realize this soon and apologise but if not, are you able to discuss it with him to clear the air? I fear that "letting it pass" may be difficult for you, and I can totally understand that.

Some people seem to think the two sides of their family need to be treated separately, which is a shame.

pimento

Fathers Day (and Mothers Day, for that matter) is a cynical marketing ploy designed to sell greetings cards and tacky presents. We don't bother in our house.

Newly_retired

Sorry, I should have said, I'm his mum. So I know I'm not part of Father's Day, but surely I am part of the family?

Newly_retired

We don't really bother with such commercialised occasions either. But he does, and his in-laws do.

iamana1ias

Newly_retired wrote: »

Sorry, I should have said, I'm his mum. So I know I'm not part of Father's Day, but surely I am part of the family?

You're not part of your son's in-law's family, nor are you a father. I can't see a problem!

Plans_all_plans

Yes, you are part of the family, but with you being his mum, he probably just didn't think of inviting you. I wouldn't have thought there was any malice in it, he probably didn't expect you to want to come.

I know I wouldn't have thought of inviting my mum if I was having the inlaws round for lunch on Father's Day.

If you are very upset, then it might be worth saying that you'd have liked to have gone for lunch, even though it was Father's Day, but personally I wouldn't mention it.

pimento

Newly_retired wrote: »

We don't really bother with such commercialised occasions either. But he does, and his in-laws do.

Let them get on with it, it's all flim flam.

Do you see him at other times? (when there isn't a made up obligation)

LegalBlonde

oh right i bet he honestly just didn't think as horrible as that sounds. i think if i was in that position it just wouldn't occur to me. Why don't you invite him to yours next Sunday?

sexki11en

I don't think the OP's son did behave in a thoughtless manner tbh. OP asked if she could have Sunday lunch- OP's son had already made alternative plans. He's a grown up with his own life.

OP, I really think you're taking this too much to heart. It's not the end of the world that this once, your son already had other plans (it doesn't matter with whom)

I'm not sure why you don't know what to say to him next time you speak, unless you want to make him feel bad and honestly (and I don't mean this to be harsh) -from the tone of your post - that wouldn't surprise me. My mother is exactly the same.

Build a bridge and get over it. There must have been times in your life you've had to say no because you'd already made plans, surely?

SK x