Is it ok to get friendship advice on here?

Sambucus_Nigra

sacha28 wrote: »

OMG Seriously? Get a life I have no interest in him whatsoever, I don't go for his type. You're all getting a little bit personal here, if you can't be constructive then stay out of it. Thank you.
bitterandtwisted, you really are just living up to your name!

I am being constructive! If you don't want to stay out of it then you are the one a little too close and personal...

And I have a life thanks - one that doesn't involve other people at such close quarters.

AmandaD28

I think if it were me I'd want to know and I'd be gutted if my closest friends knew and didn't tell me .....................

That said you read all the time about stories like this that have gone wrong and others are right to warn you against saying anything, I think its a deeply personal thin and only you will know how the news will be received I certainly do not envy your predicament though OP and I am sorry I can't be more help

Good luck whatever you decide xx

pigpen

You only have suspisions not actual proof there is anything going on? ( I read the OP and page 1 so apologies if I missed anything but I need my bed)

If you are certain there is something going on tell him!!

If you are not 100% certain.. say nothing but wait until you are sure.

Having been cheated on I did ignore it hoping it would fizzle out and go away... but I think what was worse was that everyone else seemed to know.. when I said 'oh KH left for another woman' They all said 'oh yeah we've seen him with her'

Well great thanks for that!

The worst thing ever is finally admitting it to yourself as the spouse and then having everyone else say they knew.. as a close friend that would be the absolute worst betrayal of trust and the friendship.

Find out for certain.. then tell the poor bloke!

Lying by omission is still a lie!

podperson

It is a difficult situation and either way you run the risk of the husband falling out with you. I think if it was me I would get OH to sit down with the husband and say that there are rumours going round about his wife and this other guy. Don't say you think she's guilty just that you thought he should know and you were uncomfortable with people talking behind his back. He then has the information and can chose to confront his wife. I agree with the posters saying that if I found out that my best friend knew about my partner cheating and hadn't told me then I would be seriously upset - to the point where I would almost feel that they had also betrayed me.

Mics_chick

I know the best friend and his oh work different shifts but is there anyway you could get the best friend to drop in to surprise his oh and find her and randy man in a compromising situation?
I know some peeps will find this heartless but at least the best friend finds out first hand...

I can understand both sides of the argument - say nothing or tell him - if it was me I would want to know but I do know of situations where telling someone has backfired on the messenger.