Is it ok to get friendship advice on here?

Errata

Keep your nose out and stop gossiping about people with other people.

onlyroz

sacha28 wrote: »

They know intimate details of our lives and we trusted them implicitly with information about others that we mutually know.

This bit rings major alarm bells with me :eek: What business is it of yours to start spilling the details about mutual friends?

I think if you're going to confront anybody about this then it should be the wife - try and get her to own up for herself what she's been up to.

katerinasol

I would tell him about the rumours and the CCTV. If it was happening to me, I would want my friends to tell me. If my close friends knew my boyfriend was having an affair and said nothing, I would question the strength of the friendship.

BitterAndTwisted

The "mutually known" party is Mr Randypants at work which the lady-friend is allegedly carrying on with.

Perhaps these intimate details which have been disclosed are more pertinent to the discussion than we think.

Sambucus_Nigra

onlyroz wrote: »

This bit rings major alarm bells with me :eek: What business is it of yours to start spilling the details about mutual friends?

I think if you're going to confront anybody about this then it should be the wife - try and get her to own up for herself what she's been up to.

They are all swingers but the OP isn't 'getting any' of the randy man so wants to spoil everyone's fun. Sour grapes never tasted so good.

onlyroz

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

The "mutually known" party is Mr Randypants at work which the lady-friend is allegedly carrying on with.

Perhaps these intimate details which have been disclosed are more pertinent to the discussion than we think.

I got the impression that Mr Randypants was only one of the many mutual friends they'd been gossiping about and giggling over.

j.e.j.

Well, this is quite a polarising thread :rotfl: - some of us adamant that OP should keep out of it, others just as vehemently saying the guy ought to be told.

The picture I have in mind is that this is a workplace where people work closely alongside each other, everyone seems to knows everyone else's business, and people socialise and mix a lot with work colleagues outside of work. (sounds far too claustrophobic for my liking, but that's by the by!)

OP if you and your OH both feel strongly that your hubby's best pal is being made a mug of then get your OH to drop some hints, or just tell him what you've seen (don't speculate any more than that), like you did with randypants' girlfriend/wife. It all sounds very complicated tbh, and I also wouldn't mind betting it won't be long before the womaniser moves on to another one, if he hasn't already.

sacha28

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

They are all swingers but the OP isn't 'getting any' of the randy man so wants to spoil everyone's fun. Sour grapes never tasted so good.

OMG Seriously? Get a life I have no interest in him whatsoever, I don't go for his type. You're all getting a little bit personal here, if you can't be constructive then stay out of it. Thank you.
bitterandtwisted, you really are just living up to your name!

Gavin83

Im stunned by some of the replies. If I found out my girlfriend was cheating on me and my best mate knew but didn't tell me, I'd be almost as !!!!ed off with him as with her. To be honest, it would possibly be the end of our friendship, or at least cause some serious damage. I can't believe if you found out your best friends partner was cheating on them you'd keep it to yourself.

paddy's_mum

sacha28 wrote: »

if you can't be constructive then stay out of it

But we are being constructive and the pity of it is that too much of the advice given is being over-ridden, shot down in flames or otherwise disregarded. There need not be unpleasantness or indeed malice in every opinion that doesn't agree totally with your own.

Why ask for all the hugely varying and wildly differing points of view/perspectives if you already knew just what you thought, exactly how you felt and precisely what you wanted to do?

Like many others, I give opinions/advice here in the hope that all my experiences of life (some bitterly and painfully learned, I might add) just might be of some small use to someone else facing their own difficulties. Almost nothing that happens to people in life is so unusual that nobody else has ever experienced it, learned from it and come out the other side older and wiser.

I've said my bit and now I'm outta here.