Is it ok to get friendship advice on here?

sacha28

Ok guys there seems to be some threads started that aren't really financially related and I have just (in the past 2 hours) been thrown into an impossible situation that I really don't know what to do for the best..............
My OH and I have been very good friends with a couple for the past couple of years. This was to the point of going to theirs, or out with them, approx twice a week. They know intimate details of our lives and we trusted them implicitly with information about others that we mutually know. This included the goings on of a somewhat randy guy who has been cheating on his GF since the beginning. His GF is aware of his cheating but he has managed to convince her that it's all in her head so time and again she has forgiven him.....and then booked a wedding, telling him after if was all paid for :eek:
Now, to our horror, the wife of our good pal has started working with said randy male and has got very very close to him. It's all too long to go into working history but it involves a club, and she has also started a job in the building that we all work in. She has told her husband that she starts an hour earlier than she does, then she spends that hour holed up in secret with the randy male. On saturday randy male told my partner he could leave early and then, 5 mins after he left, he went back to the office to retrieve his wallet and the 2 of them were in there together, alone. My OH's boss has even picked up on it and today they went through CCTV images from around the building and found that she quite regularly disappears into their office for half an hour or more when no-one else is there. There are also images of them arm in arm, trying to avoid cameras. Although there is no proof (well definitive proof anyway) that anything is going on, we are obviously very worried about the state of our friend's marriage. We're not bothered about her, although I loved her dearly she has always been bordering on rude and treats her hubby like a slave, but we just don't know what to do next:(
What would you guys do? Would you tell him, risking him not believing you? Would you wait until it all blows up (and we're convinced it will)? We are really stuck between a rock and a hard place here and it's tearing my OH up as he classes the hubby as his best friend.

BitterAndTwisted

Say nothing. Do nothing. Other people's private lives are none of your business. Stay right out of it.

sacha28

That was my initial thought but how would you feel if this had happened to you and you found out your 2 closest friends knew all along? Not only that but eveyone in your office knows........

Cloister

Yeah, I think I'd want to know...

Sambucus_Nigra

They could just be playing a secret game of scrabble. Unlikely but I'd keep out at the moment.

j.e.j.

you say you all work in the same building, - does this include the husband (your OH's best pal)? If so I don't think it'll take him long to twig what's going on, tbh.

make_me_wise

My advice is stay well and truly out of it. The randy bloke and this daft bint, who is quite obviously having an affair with him, will be discovered. So at some stage there will be a massive fallout within your group of friends.

Lighting the touch paper and blowing all this out into the open does not put you in an easy position. It could backfire spectaularly on you if these couples decide to try again, although that seems unlikely. Act like the 3 monkeys ; see nothing, hear nothing and say nothing.

Gavin83

If this happened to my best friend I'd certainly be telling him. If it was someone I didn't know too well I'd stay well out of it but I could never keep that from my best friend.

BitterAndTwisted

The bringer of bad news is invariably tainted by it and often blamed for bringing it. Nothing good can come of interfering, I promise you.

This is other people's private business and is nothing to do with you.

Pee

If the randy male's wife knows and is watching the CCTV surely it's only a matter of time before she sorts it out.

Idiophreak

Sounds like this randy fella's a bit of a running joke between the four of you, so I'd use that...Just drop into conversation one night "hey, Sally, I see you and Randy Andy were working late together again tonight - are you still managing to resist his charms?" - you'll get to see her reaction, which will probably tell you if there's anything going on - and if you keep doing it, eventually her OH will put two and two together...