Suspended from work please help

MikeTee

Understand that thanks and thankfully hadn't contacted any as yet. I have a meeting with the union later in the week but am waiting on them getting back to me about our discussion earlier today hopefully with some more guidance

CFC

Mike if you have not been to the doctor about the pressure and your alcohol problem then you need to get there immediately. Nobody is going to take any factors into account if you personally aren't doing something to prevent them being an issue at work in future.
You need to understand that unless your situation has been absolutely blatant, with a long unblemished work record your employers won't be actively wanting to terminate you in all likelihood. You need to make it easy for them to give you a lesser penalty. One of the factors will be...and will he do it again? In which case you need to demonstrate you are taking steps to deal with the issue.

Emmzi

what would mitigate for me?

"I have been an idiot"

"I have been under stress"

"I have been drinking too much"

"I have been to the doctors and am now undertaking an alcohol counselling programme and have given up drinking"

This is not a pick list, I would want to hear all of those things coming out of your mouth.

I probably wouldn't mention money problems (not their concern + never a good thing to know about your staff, what if stuff has been going missing or commission figures have been cooked? first finger pointed.) Your financial issues have no bearing on employment law really.

But if you are ill, and in some (fairly extreme IMHO) circumstances alcohol dependency can be considered a disability, you may have some protcetion. I'd also excpect to have to seee Occupational Health for verification and a support plan.

MikeTee

I've been working on my issues on my own and have managed to reduce my iva payments for a 6 month period. In terms of the alcohol I would say this is more driven by the stress of my debts so I feel if these lessen which they have a little I can move on to dealing with this issue. I wouldn't have wanted to have been signed off sick as work occupied my mind albeit I had good, well ok ish and bad days.

Besides if I go to the doctors now I would imagine they would just figure this was due to suspension or an attempt to say something like I have recognised my problem now and went to seek help which would look like I was trying to make excuses to get out of the situation and provide credence with a doctors note. The reality was I was trying to get through everything on my
own as that is what I do.

I realise not seeking pro help from a doctor may be looked upon unfavourably but going when I am aware action has started would also do you not agree?

As ever your thoughts are all appreciated.

SarEl

Emmzi wrote: »

But if you are ill, and in some (fairly extreme IMHO) circumstances alcohol dependency can be considered a disability, you may have some protcetion. I'd also excpect to have to seee Occupational Health for verification and a support plan.

Afraid not on the first sentence. Alcohol issues do not qualify as they are considered to be self-inflicted, and much as I sympathise with anyone addicted to drugs (or anything else - and I emphasise I include legal drugs like alcohol in there) this is the right way for the law to look at it. But I agree with absolutely everything else you have said. And the tone too. These are choices - hard ones maybe, but people in wheelcahirs or with heart disease or cancer have no choices.

ohreally

Mike, I'm pretty much in agreement with Emmzi.

Self refer to occupational health and make an appointment with your G.P. re these issues and inform your tu rep asap.

If the employer has a rehabilitation program for alcohol, occupational health can refer you on to this and it will carry some weight should you appear at a disciplinary hearing.

MikeTee

I Take your points about seeking treatment for the alcohol but would you not consider it too late now or would it be acceptable as a condition that I would seek this?

I've recently visited an occ health nurse at work as I had some sickness issues ( all related ) which I visited the doctors and hospital for on several occasions. I confirmed these details to the nurse but nothing else and I would be happy for my doc notes to be retrieved by work if they wished to verify them. I did not however mention my other issues as like I said I am the type of person who deals with my issues on my own. The fact that I will have to divulge all now is due to the seriousness of the situation I find myself in and still I am uncomfortable with it all.

SarEl

MikeTee wrote: »

I've been working on my issues on my own and have managed to reduce my iva payments for a 6 month period. In terms of the alcohol I would say this is more driven by the stress of my debts so I feel if these lessen which they have a little I can move on to dealing with this issue. I wouldn't have wanted to have been signed off sick as work occupied my mind albeit I had good, well ok ish and bad days.

Besides if I go to the doctors now I would imagine they would just figure this was due to suspension or an attempt to say something like I have recognised my problem now and went to seek help which would look like I was trying to make excuses to get out of the situation and provide credence with a doctors note. The reality was I was trying to get through everything on my
own as that is what I do.

I realise not seeking pro help from a doctor may be looked upon unfavourably but going when I am aware action has started would also do you not agree?

As ever your thoughts are all appreciated.

No, I damned well wouldn't agree. Drug dependency - whatever the drug - is hiding yourself at the bottom of a bottle to escape reality. You are not working through your issue on your own. You are lying to your employers, lying to your partner... and lying to yourself. You are assuming that a doctor will sign you off sick - you aren't sick, and you know it, so why should they? And why would you ask them to?

Please forgive my harshness, but I am saying this for you own good. yes they may think all of those things - and would you blame them? But what about thinking about everyone else for a change instead of yourself? Why should they believe you if you are not prepared to own up and do something about it? If they were to let you off - would you go hide in a bottle and steal from them (timekeeping fraud is theft) the next time you felt a little stressed. You are acting like a naughty child - I screwed up but I am going to hide everything under the bed and hope mum doesn't notice. You have the responsibility here and you have to show that you are prepared to face it like an adult and clean up your own mess.

Which means that you need help from your doctor to deal with your alcohol problem. You need to tell your partner what you have done and why - because sorry, but she isn't really a partner if she doesn't know a thing, more a dupe! You need to sort out your financial mess. You either are who you are - stupid bloody mistakes and all - or you are not the person that your employer, your partner or anyone else thinks they know. Just a pale shadow of someone that they thought they knew but didn't really. You are continuing to lie - to yourself and to everyone else. If you are to stand a chance of coming out of this with anything - and I mean anything and not just a job - man up!

Because some of this could go very pear shaped. We can't promise your employer will be understanding or care - we can only hope. But if they don't, won't you be stressed then? Are you going to sink it all in a bottle? Yes, of course you are. No matter what you say - you will do exactly that. Do you really want to become one of those sad relics down the Offy buying cheap bottles at 10 am? You have a lot at stake here - and you may not win it all, but hiding and saying you will cope on your own is the fastest route to "down at the Offy at 10am" in ten years, or five years time. And believe me - I have seen these people go down that route. Don't do it.

MikeTee

Our posts seem to be crossing will it not look like a vain attempt to pull the wool over their eyes if I seek alcohol help once it's been established I'm under disciplinary / investigation?

SarEl

MikeTee wrote: »

I've been working on my issues on my own and have managed to reduce my iva payments for a 6 month period. In terms of the alcohol I would say this is more driven by the stress of my debts so I feel if these lessen which they have a little I can move on to dealing with this issue. I wouldn't have wanted to have been signed off sick as work occupied my mind albeit I had good, well ok ish and bad days.

Besides if I go to the doctors now I would imagine they would just figure this was due to suspension or an attempt to say something like I have recognised my problem now and went to seek help which would look like I was trying to make excuses to get out of the situation and provide credence with a doctors note. The reality was I was trying to get through everything on my
own as that is what I do.

I realise not seeking pro help from a doctor may be looked upon unfavourably but going when I am aware action has started would also do you not agree?

As ever your thoughts are all appreciated.

That sounds like a wonderful ---- excuse. If you could do this on your own you wouldn't be here. You have been lying to your employers, your partner, yourself, and have I missed off anyone from the list. You are an addict. Sorry to be harsh, but you need to hear it. There is a reason why there are men and women queued up outside the Off Licence at 10am in the morning. And you are heading there. If you do loose your job - will you be less stressed and stay off the alcohol? No, you won't. If your partner kicks you into touch because she is the last one to know? You do know the definition of partner, don't you? Do you think she's going to be impressed to find out from someon else.

You need help and if getting that help helps to sort out the mess you have created here, then good. But you need help whatever. Don't delude yourself - you aren't coping and you won't cope, on your own. You wouldn't be here talking to us if you could.