How to cope being the only one with more than 2 braincells...

Primrose

It seems to me that your partner is useless with money because all these years you've condoned his lack of responsibility in that area and done everything for him. So whilst I can appreciate your frustration, I think you also have to look at your own behaviour towards him and accept some responsibility.

It's time for you to sit down with him, have a serious talk and tell him that from now on he has to start learning about finance, and accepting responsibility for doing some things himself. In the beginning he probably WILL be useless, but get him into the habit of running things by you first so that he understand why, or why not, certain things should be done.

If you say you can't cope with his stupidity any more, then either you're going to leave him and let him get into his own messes, or you force him to wise up and get his financial act together. Either way, you need to talk to him and tell him which one of these two options are going to happen. If he values your relationship together, he'll hopefully realise he's in Last Chance Saloon, and sort himself out.

MrandMrsB

PS My son was supposed to be coming over to move a very heavy piece of furniture (he's strong) early this eve but he kept on missing buses, anyway he now plans to leave his place at 6.00 in the morning.....we'll see!!

By the way, had you heard of Freegle / Freecycle? (It was originally Freecycle but think most groups now belong to Freegle instead.) It's brilliant! Have made lots of friends via that group too.

paddy's_mum

As many forum members will know, I'm usually among the first to suggest that a good kick in the backside is called for! However, if the OP's partner is anything like my relative, I am absolutely certain that nothing whatever would be gained by doing so.

A person with this make up is not leaning, or lazy, or any of those other motives put forward during the life of this thread. They are just completely unaware and all the guiding, teaching, screaming and punishment in the world won't alter them. They are usually very nice people and entirely worthy of being loved for the good in them. However, they are also the babes-in-the-wood who wander blithely into the forest and while the rest of us are screaming "behind you!", they just wonder why the world got so noisy all of a sudden. :eek:

Mr Pastry (you can view his antics on You Tube) was a caricature but based on the many people who are like the OP's partner and my relative. It's only funny when you are not the one constantly trying to fend off minor disasters.

Guarding the welfare of a relationship where one partner is like this is unbelievably wearing, disheartening and frustrating. It is like having a learning difficulties child for whom you are responsible and must watch 24/7. The only thing is that sympathy and support are available to carers of the disabled. OP doesn't have that and yet is also having to deal with similar problems. Remember how tiring it was having to watch over a couple of under 4's to make sure they didn't run into the road, fall in a pond, kiss a strange dog ...?!

I have one more comment which I hope that those who feel the OP is being harsh or unkind might like to think about. It is this:-

How amusing would you find it if you had to watch your spouse's every last move out of deep-rooted and entirely logical fear that his unworldliness would drag you under too?!

Good luck, OP, and I hope you can work things out.

RLH33

I haven't read the whole thread but it did remind me of a colleague that I once worked for. She was incredibly intelligent, amazingly so, but didn't have an ounce of common sense. People in fact used to think she was thick but she was so clever that was the way she came across:D She just lived in her own little world and unless you understood that she was really hard work.

My Dad is useless with finances etc and when he has to ring up the bank, and they ask him the security questions, he can never remember the answers so asks my Mum, because he has done this the bank then won't talk to him and put the phone down. She then has to write down all the answers to the questions they may ask him - mothers maiden name etc, and he then rings them back, gets through security, then asks them to speak to my Mum anyway as he 'doesn't know about finance type stuff' :rotfl:

pinkcandyflossprincess

polejunkie wrote: »

i am severely depressed, no wonder

so am i according to that test:(

ska_lover

KiKi wrote: »

Serious question: why are you with someone who you think so little of? Why are you moving house with them if you really have such a low opinion of them?

We all start somewhere, we're not all savvy and in tune with finance. If it's out of laziness, give him a kick up the backside. But if it's out of ignorance and lack of understanding, then doing it all for him, screaming at him and putting him down won't help.

Sounds like you're better off apart.

KiKi

Indeed. Think the OP is lacking in maturity and loyalty to her OH. Wonder why she doesn't talk to him - or dump him if he really is that unbearable, rather than a public slagging off - behind his back!! I am guessing that he has always been like this, since you met him. This is the man you fell in love with. Maybe you have changed.