lazy husbands

poppyjay

Thank you for all your post just feeling very cross.
Me and little one have had a nice bath and feel alittle brighter my oh has just come home from work being sick .
Also would like to note to the person who has checked through my other post Saturdays are optional .

JodyBPM

I think this one of the age old arguements that will come round again and again!

In all honesty, for a vomitting bug, I wouldn't expect DH to take time of work to look after me or the children. I'd stumble through it as best I could. When you have children (I have two), every other week someone can get a cold/a bug etc - how many days can a man be expected to take of work and still hold down a job? Its horrible and miserable looking after sick children and looking after children (sick or otherwise) when you are ill, but you just have to get on with it - its part of being a mum!

When DH is there though, weekends, evenings etc I would expect him to take over if I was sick, which he does do. He also helps if the little people are sick when he is there to do so.

Indout96

meaning he would rather go to work than look after the baby while his mrs was in hospital!

Not that I agree with him not helping when he did come home, I would point out that men & women have VERY different treatment at work when they need to take time off for family issues or at least they do where I work (multinational) its a bit like racism, sexism only works one way

emsywoo123

relic wrote: »

Well when men get ill, they are actually ill.

That's the problem with women these days, too many rights, not enough time in the kitchen.

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Kaz2904

When I went on maternity leave with my DS I caught norwalk. It's a nasty nasty horrible bug. I had spent the morning cleaning the car and went to collect my 2 year old DD. Felt unwell but had to drive home as childminders house was 5 miles away. Got home, staggered out of the car and threw up all over the car and then stood leaning against car throwing up all over the drive way. I was chucking up for about 20 minutes with DD strapped into her car seat crying. When I finally felt able to get her out, I unclicked her buckle and she got out. I had to put her changing bag on her back because I couldn't carry it. She helped me over to the wall which went from the drive all the way round the neighbours garden to the front door. I then virtually crawled to the house. I got 1/2 way upstairs and then couldn't move any further. DD brought me the phone and I phoned DH. I told him I was really sick and needed him home and he said he couldn't come. When he got home about 4 hours later, I had managed to get to the bathroom and was just lying on the bathroom floor. DD had emptied everything out of the bottom of the fridge freezer and all the bottom cupboards. Thankfully she didn't fall down the stairs because I couldn't shut the stair gate.

Every time I moved, I threw up. DH was really worried because I was so pregnant and said I should go to hospital (I didn't because it would have shut the maternity unit) and I said no, that was where I had caught it from. By 10pm he had it too.

He has never left me again when I've been ill. I phoned him at work crying one day because DD and I were ill as was DS but he didn't want to sleep. He put the phone down and said to his boss "She's crying!" and his boss said "Oh, go, GO!". Sods law by the time he got home, DS had crashed out .
I do feel for you though it's awful trying to look after the little ones when you feel so rough. Just leave the house, you can catch up as soon as you're better.

poppyjay

Thanks kaz It really frighten me on Saturday .

Flyboy152

blue_monkey wrote: »

I quoted the bold bits after seeing your message flyboy.

He did 3 hours at work and then moaned about looking after the baby because his wife was throwing up and yet she still had to feed and change the baby while throwing up??

He sounds VERY conscious and hardworking - when it suits him. Looking after his family should be a priority. Especially if his wife is in bloody hospital and they have a very young baby!! Sounds like he wanted her to take the baby to A&E with her.

Back to the OP though. Most men are useless when it comes to stuff like this. My husbby is. After I gave birth at home at 7am he said he was going to get dinner for me and our 14 month old DD - a kebab!! He was annoyed when I said (in no uncertain terms) no.

Men are men. For most men, their duty is to go out to work and provide the money for the family, babies and the house are left to the women to organise. This is what they saw their dads do so how do they know any different. A generation back, this is what men did and so the 'new age man' thing has not filtered down to most men. It's our jobs to get our men more involved in family stuff so our son's are more involved in the house and childcare when they get married. Please speak to your friends about it though as this is what keeps me sane, you'll find most of their husbands are the more or less the same as yours - some are not, I did not say all - but most are. It is just how they have seen their own parents raise children.

If you do not speak to anyone you'll bottle it all up inside and it'll end your marriage. No-one wants to admit they have married a lazy ar-se but once you admit it to others, you'll be surprised how many others admit it too. And when my husband is doing nothing, I think how my friends have the same husbands and I have absolutely no incentive to run off to find the grass is greener - because I know it isn't and chances are I'll get another one just like the one I already have!!

I remember my friend telling me that when she had her baby her mum was round and her hubby was due in from work. Her mum asked her 'when are you going to get changed and clean up the baby'. My friend replied 'What do you mean'. It turned out that when her dad used to come home from work the kids would be fed, washed and changed into clean clothes, mum had dinner on the table for dad and she had to be in clean clothes and be in make-up to greet him from his busy day. No-one was allowed to speak to dad for about an hour until he had 'got over his busy day'. Dads had more time for grandchildren when they were not working anymore. This was just 30 years - or a generation - ago. Would a son of treat his family the same way? And would his wife be on here saying her husband did not fdo much or speak to me when I got in from work, and why was how I dressed not acceptable? She said to her mum though, 'when my husband makes an effort for me when he gets home from work then I will do the same'.

When you think of how life used to be for men/women you can see why some men do not have a clue when it comes to the house and families. Life has changed though and many women more women work too so men have to be involved. It's our job to make them realise this. Subtly.

Flipping 'eck, she has to go to casualty for jippy tummy? No wonder he was bit flippant with her.

colli

relic wrote: »

That's the problem with women these days, too many rights, not enough time in the kitchen.

I completely agree, I'd love to spend more time in the kitchen but with working 50/60 hours a week, bringing home most of the money and doing 90% of the rest of the household chores I just don't seem to be able to find the time to bake a nice cake :rotfl:

relic

colli wrote: »

I completely agree, I'd love to spend more time in the kitchen but with working 50/60 hours a week, bringing home most of the money and doing 90% of the rest of the household chores I just don't seem to be able to find the time to bake a nice cake :rotfl:

That's still over 100 hours a week available to be in the kitchen, I suggest you write down what you actually do then I will give you a guide how to make better use of your time!!

Flyboy152

From what I have heard about your cooking skills that's probably just as well.

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: