lazy husbands

poppyjay

Sorry need to get this off my chest .
My baby came down with a tummy bug friday night poor thing so was up with him only lasted afew hours.
I was up from 1am Saturday morning feeling very I'll by 6 am I was having bad chest pain phoned nhs direct they said go to a&e drove myself as oh was having a paddy about being late from work.
Lucky for me it was just this bug oh went to work by 9am I was throwing up ,baby had real bad runs we were in a mess phoned oh begging him to come home but he was too busy.
He finished at lunch time came home to do nothing really to help moaned about having to look after baby I could hardly move had a banging head but still had to change nappies and feed baby I feel like throwing him out can't even bare to look at him

CH27

Is he normally a good husband? Is this a one off or the straw that broke the camel's back?

belfastgirl23

I totally understand how you feel but would just caution that when you feel sick you're not rational and before you get into any major slanging matches, try to get yourself better.

It is possible that your husband is really worried about his job (in the current climate he might feel uncomfortable about taking time off) or that he really is under pressure.

Also I know my DH is not at all good when I'm ill, somehow he doesn't know how to do the things I would like him to do. It doesn't make him a bad person. He's equally bad at being looked after by the way, he really hates me making a fuss of him when he's ill.

Do you have a friend or family member who might be able to help out for a few hours?

Hope you're feeling better soon.

Flyboy152

poppyjay wrote: »

Sorry need to get this off my chest .
My baby came down with a tummy bug friday night poor thing so was up with him only lasted afew hours.
I was up from 1am Saturday morning feeling very I'll by 6 am I was having bad chest pain phoned nhs direct they said go to a&e drove myself as oh was having a paddy about being late from work.
Lucky for me it was just this bug oh went to work by 9am I was throwing up ,baby had real bad runs we were in a mess phoned oh begging him to come home but he was too busy.
He finished at lunch time came home to do nothing really to help moaned about having to look after baby I could hardly move had a banging head but still had to change nappies and feed baby I feel like throwing him out can't even bare to look at him

So, not that lazy then, more like conscientious and hard working really.

POPPYOSCAR

I understand how you feel.

My OH is very hardworking, however his family always come first no matter what.

I agree with belfast girl ,is there any one else who can help out i.e. friend or family member?If so, call on them for now, and when you are feeling better I would sit down and talk about this together and explain what you expect from him in this sort of situation.

Get well soon.

pigpen

Flyboy152 wrote: »

So, not that lazy then, more like conscientious and hard working really.

I think that was a typo and being late FOR work was what was meant.. meaning he would rather go to work than look after the baby while his mrs was in hospital!

Flyboy152

pigpen wrote: »

I think that was a typo and being late FOR work was what was meant.. meaning he would rather go to work than look after the baby while his mrs was in hospital!

Which still doesn't make him lazy. It might make the OP feel his priorities do not match hers, but it certainly doesn't make him lazy.

Flyboy152

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

I understand how you feel.

My OH is very hardworking, however his family always come first no matter what.

I agree with belfast girl ,is there any one else who can help out i.e. friend or family member?If so, call on them for now, and when you are feeling better I would sit down and talk about this together and explain what you expect from him in this sort of situation.

Get well soon.

But would it make him lazy if, for once, he had different priorities?

Charlies_Mummy

(((((hugs))))) I hope you are feeling much better now.

I can understand how you feel. On Boxing Day, myself and mine and DH's 3 children (aged 12,6, and 1) all came down with a horrible bug. The children were being sick and I had bad diahorrea, a high temperature, headache and couldn't really move much out of bed. The day after Boxing Day, DH decided to go out to do his hobby as planned, as it "wasn't fair that he was punished just because we were all ill". Whilst he was out, 2 of the children kept being sick, and it was horrific as I really couldn't move.

He reluctantly came home, and then spent 2 days in a filthy mood. He did look after the children, but kept shouting out "I'M TIRED" and looking over at me, and slamming doors etc. He refused to even get me a glass of water as apparently I "wasn't that ill", and so I had to hobble to the bathroom to get a glass out of the bathroom tap, and even this was very difficult as I felt so ill. I felt too ill to face arguments but I knew he would catch it at some point, and he did several days later.

So, I refused to do anything for him for the first day. I treated him as he had treated me, and refused to give him any sympathy. I hoovered upstairs whilst he was in bed and said "you're not THAT ill". Anyway, after a day of that he said he felt very regretful about how he'd been unsympathetic to me and I said that I was still angry with him but that I would look after him as that's what any decent human would do for another, but that next time I was ill I expected him to pull his weight and to be sympathetic. To be fair he has been a lot better overall since then, and pulls his weight in the house more.

p_joker

if it makes you feel any better I went through something a bit like this, 2 weeks after the birth of my son I didn't feel to good, I felt sick, dizzy, one of my breasts really hurt to the point I couldn't move in bed- I was breast feeding, I dragged myself out of bed, told my husband I didn't feel very well but he just said neither did he, he fell asleep on the sofa and left me to struggle with the 2 boys, anyway later that day we went out shopping but i took a bad turn again and kept feeling faint round a supermarket, I ended up in hospital overnight I had an infection, it took all that to get any help off my husband

esmerelda98

Unless we are talking about serious 'Get down to the hospital now' illness, I would prefer not to disrupt work, unless he is self-employed and can be flexible. These were my thoughts before I discovered your partner was less than a month into his dream job, after seven months on JSA. I looked at your posting history briefly, merely because I thought you were upset because your partner was self-employed and could fairly easily have helped, but chose not to. That is not to trivialize your discomfort. It is difficult enough dealing with diarrhoea in oneself without also having to deal with a poorly baby. I hope there is someone else you can call on for help in these situations in the future.