Waiting for a proposal - how did you stay sane?!

jtr2803

He did say well done and he did text me to say he was proud of me but he normally offers to take me out for dinner etc but he didn't which was surprising.

rdchick

awww Jtr that's doubly sad, have you asked if there's anything wrong? Maybe he's feeling the pinch? xxx

AllyS

Awww you have all had such wonderful pressies, you lucky things!!

Daisy don't give up on proposal yet! Have a wonderful few days tho, so romantic whatever happens xx

jtr2803 wrote: »

Sounds like everyone is having a great day so far, the bracelet is lovely RD!

My Valentines day SUCKS, I am sooooo upset with OH .

He never remembers our anniversary either, not even when I had it printed on calendar for him showing all his families birthdays and anniversaries, yet when he forgot his mums and dads and she went ballistic at him he was round there like a flash with a card.

Gutted.

My OH never does anything for valentine or anniversary either, so I know exactly how you feel.

He has a friend staying at the moment, and he said to me last week that he was going to kick him out for the evening (he has family in the area too), so we could have dinner together (kids are at their Dad's for the week) and then last night he said we could just shut the kitchen door and his friend could be in the living room - ummm don't bother :mad:

rdchick wrote: »

The BF gave me a packet of love hearts this morning... I WAS SO HOPING FOR A 'MARRY ME?' one...

no such luck.. yummy though! xxx

Awww bad luck hun xx

jtr2803 wrote: »

He does bring me home flowers occasionally and the odd choccie bar but I got my exam results yesterday and I passed both exams which was a mjaor achievement as I am in my final throes of ACCA and he normally gets me something to celebrate but he didn't. At least my mum text me I suppose!

Well done on passing the exams, that is a great news

I had a dream last night that OH proposed it was so so nice, nothing he does will match up now anyway.

Anyway, he is home from work now, we are going for a walk on the beach and then shopping. Have a nice rest of the day xx

squ1rrel5

I hope this forum is awash with proposals tonight!
Jtr, that does indeed suck... I hope he makes it up to you later!

There's a girl in work who never fails to get flowers sent to the office every V day... she's not even with anyone at the moment and still got some!

How lovely to have a secret admirer (probably her mum!)

The rest of us are totally jealous... I'm getting my present after work, I can pretty much guarantee it won't be my ring yet!

rdchick

squ1rrel5 wrote: »

I hope this forum is awash with proposals tonight!
Jtr, that does indeed suck... I hope he makes it up to you later!

There's a girl in work who never fails to get flowers sent to the office every V day... she's not even with anyone at the moment and still got some!

How lovely to have a secret admirer (probably her mum!)

The rest of us are totally jealous... I'm getting my present after work, I can pretty much guarantee it won't be my ring yet!

I think I have a cats chance in hell of that happening for me! lol!

There's always one that gets flowers isn't there?! Saying that no one here has but there are only 6 ladies in the office, 3 of which are married... the other two are single and me...

xxx

rdchick

I hope you do get your ring Squirrel (how awesome would that be?!)

Just realised it's my ex's 40th birthday... yep 40th...

xxx

verandi

rosevibe wrote: »

After our daughter was born 3 years ago I was sat in the registrars office allowing his name to be the one she took because he'd said 'we'll all have the same name soon anyway'

Her 3rd birthday has been and gone, we've had several very emotional conversations about this and how crap I feel at not even having the same name as my daughter (she can recite his name, his parents and sister in full, my name she struggles with because it's different) and no, not a single proposal - he keeps saying 'of COURSE I want to marry you' and has been telling me he wants to marry me since before she was even conceived - for 6 years he's been telling me we will be married ONE DAY.

So yes, I totally 'get' the feeling of being strung along. I really do feel on many days that he is only saying what I want to hear, that he has been trapped into this relationship etc etc so I NEED the commitment of marriage to make me feel secure again.

Sanity is not the word to describe my feelings in this matter - yes we have a good relationship generally but I feel that he has both broken a promise and for whatever reason doesn't want to commit. YET I also know he has a huge Italian family and wants the big wedding - which we'll never be able to afford, so. I'm stuck waiting and feeling !!!!!! about it until we either win the lottery or I make an appointment at the registry office myself and tell him point blank it's now or never; put up or shut up.

In my mind It's gone well past the time for romance, I just want security, to know that he really DOES want to be with me and isn't just in a rut.
Sadly he doesn't 'get' that; If a guy will repeatedly say he wants to marry you but no proposal is forthcoming then he is an idiot to think that's ok. every time he says or mentions it or one of your acquaintances mentions it (as happens at least once a week) it's like being stabbed through the heart with false expectations.
Men are idiots if they think the important thing is to make a big show and do it 'properly'. the important thing is to JUST DO IT!

Hi rosevibe, welcome to the thread. I can't imagine how you must feel, like squirrels said I can't imagine having a different surname to my child. You say that you've had big conversations about this, well what has he given as his reason for not marrying you still? He can say he wants to one day but surely he has a reason as to why not yet? I think I'd be researching how to change her surname to mine by now, probably not very mature but I would feel strung along same as you.

AllyS wrote: »

Grrr I am on the iPad and for some reason it won't let me do multiple quotes, sorry if I miss anyone out.

Congrats squirrel on all the positive news, so happy you managed to go ring shopping, so excited for you too! Really hope that u don't have to wait too long.

Daisy love where your laptop cut you off so so funny. Awww Prague proposal sounds so romantic, I have all my fingers and toes crossed for you

Awww jtr I am sorry about the conversation, just what u needed to finish off a rubbish day. It's really funny but no one has ever said to us oh it's time you guys got engaged or married, but I am always being asked if we are going to have a baby soon haha, weird huh?

Sorry I know someone new has joined but I can't find your post now, just want to say hi and welcome, we can all identify with how frustrated you must be feeling, you must feel like you are constantly siting for him to pull his finger out . Would you consider asking him to marry you?

Hope everyone is ok, I am feeling a bit rubbish at the mo, me and OH finally decided we would leave having a baby to fate, but stop using contraception, got my smear test thru went for the test as soon as poss so we could carry on trying this month and I have cervix erosion and nurse is worried about smear result, so therefore have been advised to put baby making on hold! I am a bit worried about the result, but trying to remain calm, I am such a worrier!

Ah also forgot, I was skiving at work on Friday, which is why I was posting, but i am part time student and also work part time, so if I am on here I am normally skiving from one or the other haha

Hi Ally, just wanted to say best of luck with the smear results, I'm sure it will just be them erring on the side of caution. Will be thinking of you though

What do you study by the way? I'm quite looking forward to graduating but also kind of dreading it lol.

verandi

jtr2803 wrote: »

Sounds like everyone is having a great day so far, the bracelet is lovely RD!

My Valentines day SUCKS, I am sooooo upset with OH .

We agreed last week that we wouldn't do presents, just cards (as per every other year, which is fine). I got up and made him coffee this morning, as I do every morning and I took it in to the bedroom with his card and left him to open it.

After he got dressed he came and thanked me for his card and then told me that he hadn't even got me one yet, so I told him that there wasn't much point getting one now and then he says he didn't think we were doing them?! He NEVER listens to me . It's not like he has anything planned as a surprise tonight either as I am going to mums for dinner and he knows this.

He never remembers our anniversary either, not even when I had it printed on calendar for him showing all his families birthdays and anniversaries, yet when he forgot his mums and dads and she went ballistic at him he was round there like a flash with a card.

Gutted.

Oh jtr, I feel for you You must be wondering why you bothered now. Congratulations on passing your exams though!

AllyS wrote: »

My OH never does anything for valentine or anniversary either, so I know exactly how you feel.

He has a friend staying at the moment, and he said to me last week that he was going to kick him out for the evening (he has family in the area too), so we could have dinner together (kids are at their Dad's for the week) and then last night he said we could just shut the kitchen door and his friend could be in the living room - ummm don't bother :mad:

Errr, speechless! Lol! I hope you told him in no uncertain terms what you think to that idea? :eek:

rdchick

My poor bestie... the one that has the pretty ring!

It's their first Valentines day since being married... I had to tell him to book a table somewhere nice...

I was gonna get her flowers as I didn't have much faith in him and now I wish I did...

He got her a Me to You lunch box and flask (she's 24) some bulbs (she never does gardening!), some sweets (including marshmallows - she's veggie) and a Boots voucher...

Weirdest valentines day gift ever. She's a little disappointed to say the least xxx

AllyS

Hi all

I am on y phone again, so it won't let me quote.

Anyway OH has redeemed himself big time in last few hours. Friend has gone out for rest of the day. We went shopping for our fav dinner and when I opened the boot to put in shopping there were 2 bunches of flowers and a teddy in the boot. Very happy girlfriend I would have just been happy with friend out of the way, but dont tell him that haha. He had stuff.in the boot since yesterday as he knew I would open it to put in shopping - so sweet!

I am studying and open uni degree I started with criminology and psychology, but didn't enjoy the psychology so am now doing criminology with childhood studies. I would like to work in youth justice at some point in future.