Waiting for a proposal - how did you stay sane?!

minerva_windsong

AllyS wrote: »

I think most people on here don't care how the proposal is done we just want to get married. I don't care if I even get an official proposal to be honest, I just want to set a wedding date. Any proposal to most of us on here will be the most amazing day of our lives, some girlies have been waiting a very long time!

I agree - I don't care how my OH chooses to propose, because it'd still be special to me. Ideally though I wouldn't like it to be somewhere with loads of people around because I'd hate having all that attention, but flowery language or a fancy location doesn't matter to me; even if it's just a very casual 'shall we get married then?' out of the blue one day I'd be the happiest girl in the world.

jtr2803

I am sooooo annoyed this morning!

There is a lady who posted in the Marriages and Families board who is in a similar situation to some of us and I mentioned this thread as I though she might get some comfort from knowing she wasn't the only one but other posters have decided we are all bizarre/weak willed and quite obviously sad. :mad:

I am amazed at how judgemental people can be!

Chick

teabythesea wrote: »

I do think it's very bizarre getting proposal plans in your head etc. My wonderful fiance proposed to me on my 21st birthday after a long walk up a wet cold and windy cliff but the main thing was that he chose it to be that way. If I had of had it all planned in my head I would've been either disappointed or not surprised. Proposals are meant to be surprises! Imagine if your OH has an idea of a proposal that he thinks is great, but you come along all obnoxious in a "I want it to be MY way" you could put him off proposing.

I think you missed the point a bit- for me, it's not about having the 'perfect proposal' and everything being just how I want it.
Quite simply, I would be so happy to just be asked- wherever in the world, it doesn't need to be an exotic beach or up some mountain, or even just on the sofa at home :-)

Yes I totally agree that a proposal should be a surprise! I think that with planning a wedding there is plenty of scope to be all "I want it to be MY way"

Chick

jtr2803 wrote: »

I am sooooo annoyed this morning!

There is a lady who posted in the Marriages and Families board who is in a similar situation to some of us and I mentioned this thread as I though she might get some comfort from knowing she wasn't the only one but other posters have decided we are all bizarre/weak willed and quite obviously sad. :mad:

I am amazed at how judgemental people can be!

Hee hee, are there lots of "smug marrieds" over there?! I love that expression, from Bridget Jones...:j

nickki44

squ1rrel5 wrote: »

Yes I have considered that, but I think he knows (well I hope he does) that the location of the proposal does not matter to me in the slightest - only that it happens, lol
Id much rather the wedding be there as this is the bit that actually means something to me but that means I need to say something before we actually go!!
If he proposed in NYC I tyhink Id actually be more annoyed that hed made a bigger deal out of that than the actual wedding itself (which, whatever we do, will be a rather 'low budget' affair, I know NYC isnt low budget but as it will just be the two of us, we can justify it as just a cost of a holiday, albeit a bit of an expensive one, but thats allowed if its your wedding day too!!!!). :rotfl:

I'll work something out - when I'm off over Christmas, I'll hunt out some articles about new york weddings and leave them lying round or just 'casually spot' something on a travel website!!! :cool:

Having just watched DDTB where he whisked them off to New York, I have to play Devils advocate a little here.... (sorry x)

I know NYC is your dream wedding location, but is it your OH's too?

I know our wedding, to both of us was (after the actual commitment to each other) having as many friends and family as we could to share our moment and our day with us.

Now I know thats not for everyone, and some people prefer no fuss, are you sure that your OH would be as happy as you with this option?

If so - excellent - what a BEAUTIFUL location

If not - what a wonderful location for a propsoal and a lovely story to tell all your guests at your Gretna Green wedding?


Hope this helps - and I hope whatever happens I hope that it all happens for you
xxxx

wanchai_2

I watched DTTB last night too!!!!!!! That dress! OMG! What WAS he thinking????? It was the worst wedding dress I've ever seen!

Other than that he did fantastically well, what a lovely guy he seemed. At least he didn't spend the 3 weeks getting drunk like some of the other DTTB grooms.

Good point re fab location v. who you want there. That's the reason we're getting married at home...

Brighton_belle

teabythesea wrote: »

I do think it's very bizarre getting proposal plans in your head etc. My wonderful fiance proposed to me on my 21st birthday after a long walk up a wet cold and windy cliff but the main thing was that he chose it to be that way.

The clue is in the bits in bold: you were propsed to on your 21st birthday so you can't have been together very long, so you didn't ever get to the point where you were 'waiting'.
Imagine being together for another ,say, 8 yrs with no proposal forth coming.. I think by then you might have occasionally had a little tinsy insy fantasy as to what/where a proposal might be, even if in reality, like most on here, you didn't actually care how or where it was done.

nickki44

wanchai wrote: »

I watched DTTB last night too!!!!!!! That dress! OMG! What WAS he thinking????? It was the worst wedding dress I've ever seen!

Other than that he did fantastically well, what a lovely guy he seemed. At least he didn't spend the 3 weeks getting drunk like some of the other DTTB grooms.

Good point re fab location v. who you want there. That's the reason we're getting married at home...

Us too - We contemplated at one point going abroad to do it and having a do when we get home - as it would have been cheaper!! nicer honeymoon location and guaranteed weather, but we both wanted our friends and family there at the wedding, nt just a party, so we sacrificed the dream honeymoon and plumped for the day to remember. Absolutely the right decision for us, and luckily, we both wanted the same thing so nobody had to compromise , phew....


And yes - that dress was horrendous (nearly spat my tea out when she said "you can see my pubes"!), but for him to make his sister leave her 2 kids at home to attend the wedding - that would have spoilt my day,

minerva_windsong

Brighton_belle wrote: »

The clue is in the bits in bold: you were propsed to on your 21st birthday so you can't have been together very long, so you didn't ever get to the point where you were 'waiting'.
Imagine being together for another ,say, 8 yrs with no proposal forth coming.. I think by then you might have occasionally had a little tinsy insy fantasy as to what/where a proposal might be, even if in reality, like most on here, you didn't actually care how or where it was done.

Not necessarily - I know people my age (I'm 24) who've been together since they were young teenagers, so 15-16 kind of age, and are very much in love if not already married, so it could be a situation like that where it's been a relatively long relationship even if the two people involved are still quite young in the grander scheme of things.

Brighton_belle

minerva_windsong wrote: »

Not necessarily - I know people my age (I'm 24) who've been together since they were young teenagers, so 15-16 kind of age, and are very much in love if not already married, so it could be a situation like that where it's been a relatively long relationship even if the two people involved are still quite young in the grander scheme of things.

I wasn't really counting form 15/16, when you are still at schol and hopefuly not thinking about marriage and babies quite that young:eek:.
I was counting from 18 and meaning you haven't live long in general, compared say to someone of 35 who's seen all their friends marry, have kids and been with own their OH for 8 yrs... THEN, you might quite naturally, having had a longer life to think about such things, have had a few fantasies about where and how a proposal might happen...the poster I responded to descibed having such fantasies as 'bizarre'...I merely suggested that, someone of 21 saying this to someone of say 35, is lacking life experience that gives you understanding. The understadning that such albeit brief fantasy would be natural not perculiar.