Waiting for a proposal - how did you stay sane?!

jojo-baby

waaaaaaaaa :-(

GoldenShadow

Sorry to hear that HBS

My OH asked the other week, not very subtly, if I could google image him some photos of rings I like :rotfl: anyway, we have been to the nice jeweller's in town (I say nice, they're independent and always really lovely whenever I've been in for Pandora related things) and they're going to make a ring for us. We went back today to look at some sapphires they ordered in but the shade isn't as dark as I'd like, so they are on the look out for some more suitable ones

OH has this crazy idea that when it's made, he can keep it in his possession until he feels the time is right :eek: :rotfl: I hate surprises. I hate being the centre of attention. So I'm hoping to acquire it as soon as it's ready, however soon or not that might be :j

hieveryone

Big birthday today and no proposal

PrettyKittyKat

Heartbreak_star - I will join you in the 'waaaaaaaaa' - would he change his name to the same as yours? I am guessing there is a reason you don't want to change your name, so this is another option as then it could make him think it was 'worth' getting married (although of course there are lots of reasons other than this to us!)

GoldenShadow: I wish my OH would be not to subtle in the same way haha How lovely that you are having a ring made! Make sure you are keeping us informed of the progress

Hieveryone: ah that sucks who knows maybe he will surprise you and do it on a random day soon!

heartbreak_star

PrettyKit - we both have work-related docs issued in our names so can't reeeally change them haha!

Thanks for joining me in a waaaaa!

Feeling a bit better now, I just wobble occasionally!

HBS x

Gloomendoom

I suppose it depends on how much you want to be married. Perhaps a compromise might satisfy both parties?

For example, my sister-in-law adopted her husband's name but uses her maiden name professionally.

gothrockchic1

OH finally admitted this week that he is planning to propose next month in Paris.

I ruined the surprise for myself though. Two of our friends got engaged after just six months of courtship, they had been "just good" friends for over a year.

So I got angry, a lot of friends are getting engaged too and OH spilled the beans. Now I feel awful for ruining my own surprise. The good thing is I can get the ring I want and a ring that he likes.

bathwiggle

i keep lurking here, I've been with my OH 3 years. He knows i want to get married, we've spoken about how and who we'd invite, but he hasn't asked yet. It probably doesn't help all my friends seem to be getting married this year.

But i've seen a dress second hand on ebay that i love. I have loved this dress for the last 7 years when i saw it in a shop window, and now a woman is selling hers on ebay. And it's the right size. I;m try to convince myself i'm not engaged, we're not planning buying it is not the way forwards. But its so tempting as new it's £2700,and she's has listed it at £800 with offers.

I think i'm just going mad

RachRubyD

I so know how you all feel, I had to wait 7 years to finally be proposed to and it wasn't even really a surprise when it finally did happen. My best advice is to try act like you don't care. In my finding's the more you want a man to propose the less likely he will. It's awful always hoping and expecting for a proposal on special occasions and being dissapointed when nothing happening but fear say anything incase you look needy or insane. Whilst if feels like everyone else around you was getting married and engaged.

I always looked at venues, dresses and had everything planned (mainly because I love weddings) and waited with baited breath for the day I could actually start planning. All I've ever dreamed of is having a perfect wedding day. Not a perfect career, house or baby but being married.

Sometimes men or women need something to happen to propose, sometimes its a pregnancy or birth of baby or a break up. In my case it was us losing our dearly loved dog at Christmas just gone and being completely heartbroken and both realising how much we relied on one another and loved one another through the most difficult times of our lives (sounds dramatic but she was like a child to us). We both shared the same memories of her and brought her up together, something that we could never have or explain to another person if we broke up and moved on. Just think it finally hit home then. I'd given up hope of being proposed to and was busy working and so on so didn't pester or go on about weddings, in fact acted cool about them when asked. It defiantly did the trick as well.

I also think it's hard for someone to propose, knowing the right timing and how best to do it. It's all built up to much into something that has to be over the top when its just a promise really that you going to marry one another.

Hang in there it will happen one day and if it doesn't then it's not the end of the world. I know people who been together 30+ years and aren't married.

bathwiggle

RachRubyD wrote: »

I so know how you all feel, I had to wait 7 years to finally be proposed to and it wasn't even really a surprise when it finally did happen. My best advice is to try act like you don't care. In my finding's the more you want a man to propose the less likely he will. It's awful always hoping and expecting for a proposal on special occasions and being dissapointed when nothing happening but fear say anything incase you look needy or insane. Whilst if feels like everyone else around you was getting married and engaged.

I always looked at venues, dresses and had everything planned (mainly because I love weddings) and waited with baited breath for the day I could actually start planning. All I've ever dreamed of is having a perfect wedding day. Not a perfect career, house or baby but being married.

Sometimes men or women need something to happen to propose, sometimes its a pregnancy or birth of baby or a break up. In my case it was us losing our dearly loved dog at Christmas just gone and being completely heartbroken and both realising how much we relied on one another and loved one another through the most difficult times of our lives (sounds dramatic but she was like a child to us). We both shared the same memories of her and brought her up together, something that we could never have or explain to another person if we broke up and moved on. Just think it finally hit home then. I'd given up hope of being proposed to and was busy working and so on so didn't pester or go on about weddings, in fact acted cool about them when asked. It defiantly did the trick as well.

I also think it's hard for someone to propose, knowing the right timing and how best to do it. It's all built up to much into something that has to be over the top when its just a promise really that you going to marry one another.

Hang in there it will happen one day and if it doesn't then it's not the end of the world. I know people who been together 30+ years and aren't married.

Thank you, i know i'm not alone, but its just frustrating as normally it's him i'd talk to and im not sure that going on about getting married when he knows my feelings is productive in the slightest

I won't be able to wait 30 years i want children and am catholic, and he knows this. In fact i've had his family arguing with me that i should give up my religion and just give them grandchildren luckily he is with me and doesn't want children outside marriage.

We only really talk about weddings in relation to someone else's and what we do/don;t like, thats why i'm posting here so i dont scare him with the crazy wedding talk.

It's just having seen the dress and i've been drooling over this dress for years has made me realise quite how crazy i'm going. Even though i'd be quite happy to just go to gretna green and marry with no one else, it's not the wedding i think its the promise of the future if that makes sense?