Waiting for a proposal - how did you stay sane?!

pigpen

If you have previously said you wouldn't consider it maybe saying.. you know I said I didn't want to get married I think I might have changed my mind.. (and I might like children too.. and maybe a dozen cats and a yacht.. whatever else you've changed your mind on.. you may as well get it all out there ) .. it is a womans prerogative to change her mind.. (its a mans too but for my purpose here it isn't ) Saying that, you have put the possibility out there and he may think about it etc..

Now.. I need to grow a pair and take my own advice.. I don't think I can..


I have a lot of friends who have recently got married/engaged.. a lot of 40th birthdays so it was a way o make it more special I guess.. It is a topic brought up regularly in here at the moment.. my Dil wants to get married but my son is saying no.. she is refusing to have a second baby and he wants more children so won't marry her if she is resistant to more children.. so they are stuck. My daughter wants to have the same surname as her son but.. her first name is almost the same.. Lily Lill is a pretty stupid name.. so they aren't getting wed either lol..

I want the same name as my children, I want to feel like I have a name again, I want to legally protect my OH if I should spring my mortal coil etc.. and above all I do love him..

jojo-baby

PrettyKittyKat wrote: »

Hey everyone,

I have been lurking on this thread for many many months and I thought it was about time I joined in! I have got myself a brand spanking new username to protect my identity (don't tell anyone but I'm a superhero!) haha

My history... been with the partner almost two years.... lived together about 8 months now (I moved into his house). Extremely happy together, I really feel like I have found a right person for me. He isn't bothered about marriage either way, so no 'yes I definitely want to do it' but no 'I will never do it', he would he happy to do either basically. He is aware of how important I feel marriage is and I want to be married before we have children... so now it is the waiting game! I am worried that, as he isn't bothered either way about marriage, he will not take the initiative to propose! But only time will tell I suppose.

I am so glad there are other people feeling the way I do - I do worry I am crazy sometimes haha!

Pretty KittyKat, you could be my twin, my waiting for proposal twin. our circumstances are basically the same. welcome to this thread! and i hope you are not here long!

gayleygoo

When I first met my partner, nearly 10 years ago, we were teenagers and didn't want to "ever get married", it was not a necessary part of life for either of us. I got pregnant several years later, and OH was relieved to be told I didn't expect to get married just because we were having a baby, and that I didn't think it was the right way to do things. I'm expecting my third child now, and have spent the last couple of years thinking about how I would like to get married, now that we've been together so long and we have so much reason to celebrate what we have

I've watched many friends get married now, none of them having been with their partners as long as I have, and it gets harder each time. OH does not want to get married, and while I understand why he doesn't, I don't want to look back in 20 years and feel that I'd missed out on something. I don't want anything big or fancy either, and having realised I was never getting a proposal, I asked him last year. His reaction was not very enthusiastic and I should probably give up on the idea rather than continue to get annoyed about it. Of course we love each other so it's not worth ruining our relationship over. I don't want to "force" him into a wedding he doesn't want to have, but I don't want to resent him later on, or feel like it's my fault he doesn't want to marry me. (I know that's not the reason, but it still feels a bit personal.)

So I could be holding my breath a long time if I'm waiting on a proposal!

newthrift

Well a quick update, OH still would like to purchase my engagement ring on his own and then surprise me fully with a proposal - he is a romantic really We did go shopping and look at quite a few jewelry stores, he said it has given him a much clearer picture on what ring I would like and he understands about metal and diamond ct's which he didn't really before. I am now getting even more like I want to pop with anticipation haha, especially since all our friends keep trying to second guess when it will be!!

We do have two very close friends who have been together a while, he isn't bothered about getting married and she would love to!! In an ideal world she would like to get married and then have children where as he is happy to just have kids. They have begun trying for kids and I do think in time he will change his mind and they will get married and it will just be a simple ceremony - this is the way his brother did it and she has pointed out that although she will be happy she will also be quite mad as she has expressed how much she would prefer to marry then children - just sharing someone else's struggles

burnoutbabe

she should stop trying for a baby then!

pigpen

Apparently I can't have a ring because they are too expensive.. Cheaper than the new car I'm saving up for so he can drive it.. a lot cheaper.. I might buy my own ring and let him buy a car.

I'm actually offended!

newthrift

Ask him what he considers too expensive for the ring and then have a look around as I was surprised to find some cheaper than I first found some at!

Try not be offended, my OH said the first rings I saw were to expensive (admittedly is was almost £2000 and it happened to catch my eye ) but I have found some when I started looking around less than £1000 - my limit, which are equally as beautiful and still the same style I like & want! I did point out he knew I had expensive taste when he met me and I was planning to wear it for the rest of my life so it was a good investment

pigpen

The one I like most is just over £800 so not hugely expensive.. and exactly, you have to have one you love you are wearing it forever!

newthrift

Hopefully he softens soon!

pigpen

I'm just going to set his mum on him.. she hates that we have the girls and aren't married.. while on a drunken bender when we were having the 4 year old she said she was ashamed he would have the first b*****d in the family.. I just said obviously not Then when we were having the others I said well now he has the second and third too!! haha!!

My 4 year old is on the case too.. whenever church is mentioned we are getting married and I keep telling her but Daddy needs to buy Mummy a sparkly ring first .. she is VERY with me on this haha!!