Waiting for a proposal - how did you stay sane?!

Trixsie1989

I've been kind of lucky with my oh :-) know me such other 13 years and been together 7. Planning the wedding for jan 2015 but not officially engaged yet lol my engagement ring has come so I no it's gonna happen soon, it's just down to him to do it the way he wants to.w e are going away next week so hoping he will do it then :-) xxx

heartbreak_star

Hugs to you, WotW. Wish I knew what to say!

HBS x

rdchick

at least your boyfriends all want to marry you... mine is still unsure... *sigh*

jtr2803

Wine_of_the_World wrote: »

Still waiting!

I am feeling particularly sad just now. We have been together for over 3 years; our anniversary came and nothing, as had our last holiday (we aren’t planning another for over a year). I’m afraid I got very upset when I realised he wasn’t going to ask on holiday. We had a chat and he said that he could see I was upset when his friends recently got engaged, and that he did love me and was committed to me, and that he was going to organise something special. This had followed a previous chat a few months before that along previous lines.

Well, he organised a surprise night away this weekend. I really thought ‘this is it!!!’ and secretly thought how I would tell friends and family. But no.

I noticed he had been looking at flights on the internet I did wonder whether he was looking at a cheap city break – so I decided to ask if he had anything else planned. I felt I needed to know for sure as I didn’t want to get all excited and be disappointed again. But he hadn’t booked anything else. He started to get grumpy, saying he doesn’t know what I expect of him.

I feel I am at a cross roads. Thinking over our conversations either 1- he has had serious memory lapses and genuinely has no glue I am waiting or 2 - he doesn’t want to marry me yet.

He isn’t normally forgetful. So I am really thinking where on earth is our relationship going. Everything else seems good, so on the one hand I don’t want to end it, but on the other as its most likely he is not yet ready, I don’t want to be ‘hanging on’ for years as in all seriousness my age is an issue and I don’t have more years to wait.

But to be honest I am finding the continuous disappointment really hard, I am always thinking ‘it will happen now’. Like this weekend when we were walking around the grounds of the estate and I am thinking its quiet and so beautiful here - a perfect place to ask, but at the same time I knew he wasn’t going to ask anything. I could be waiting for years and years (more!).

Sorry this is all very negative but what it means for the future of our relationship is huge!

I know this is a long thread now so asking if people have read through my posts on the exact same subject is probably feeble.

I could have (and did) write the above. My OH kept saying he needed to plan it, my 30th birthday surrounded by elephants at dinner in Kenya would have been PERFECT, yet he says it never crossed his mind despite the fact just 2 months earlier he had mentioned it being a 'special' trip.

I got fed up of waiting and I was literally at the point of walking away after four years so I basically told him to make a decision, we'd been together long enough for him to know whether he loved me enough to commit to me properly, if he still couldn't decide then I wasn't the right one and we needed to part ways. He claims a lot of anxiety over the planning, the day and the leading up to it, I suspect some of it is true and some of it was head-in-sand to be honest.

Anyway, he decided he did love me enough to get married and we have been married almost 7 months now. On the plane to honeymoon he looked me in the eyes and told me that he wished he'd known how good it would feel to call me his wife, how he know he'd dragged his heels about it but it was the best decision he has ever made. Clearly it could have gone the other way and it would have hurt, but I was prepared for it.

Life is too short, people said I was crazy if i was willing to end a relationship over getting married but it was important to me and I wasn't prepared to be strung along any more!

I wish you luck

dizsiebubba

Hi ladies,

Haven't posted for about a year because have been and had a baby who is now 11 months old... still no proposal though! 7.5 years together, 5.5 years living together & almost 1 year of having a baby but no proposal...

On the plus side... I am 25 this month so maybe on my birthday? & he has had my ring since April and promised me last Xmas when I broke down and cried he would do it before the end of the year... so ... we shall see!

xxx

lemontart

come on ladies this is the 21st century and you can do the asking .................!

dizsiebubba

I asked and he laughed at me

littlesnuggy

I've never posted on this thread before because didn't want OH to somehow find it but we're off to New York next Saturday for our 10 year anniversary (of being together). We've got lots of nice dinners, walks in the park, seeing sunset from brooklyn bridge etc planned so here's hoping I might come back with a ring!

I know some people seem to get engaged really quickly now but I honestly wasn't even thinking about it until the last couple of years. We got together in our first year at university & have lived together ever since, bought our house in 2010 and got a dog shortly after. I don't think I'd have wanted to get married any sooner, really. But saying that if he doesn't propose in NYC I may start getting impatient!

74jax

lemontart wrote: »

come on ladies this is the 21st century and you can do the asking .................!

Have you read this thread? :rotfl:

Plenty on here have and the OH said no? (As in my situation).

kerri_dfw

My OH has told me if I propose he will say no.