Waiting for a proposal - how did you stay sane?!

burnoutbabe

Nope, i felt the same, was worried about a surprise enagement at some big event, so felt sick on birthday and Valantines events.

So he asked me a few weeks before my birthday if he could buy me a ring for my birthday. So all pressure off and we had fun planning where the "proposal" would be and I had an ace birthday without worrying "is he going to do it, is he not". Though I was going to propose myself the week before to get it done and avoid the issue anyway. But got too drunk!

I think its rarely that these chaps do NOT want to marry, so just discuss it with him. An actual engagement that is just discussed and plans made is just the same as " a total romantic surprise", and means you are on your way to marriage, which is the main thing.

My sister had it easier, she married another female so ONE of the girls had to ask the other!

Turtle

GoldenShadow wrote: »

I wouldn't give mine a specific deadline, but I'm pretty confident I know what I want in my life and I'm not prepared to be with anyone who doesn't want something similar. I'm an outdoorsy country type, and as my ex found out, I wasn't prepared to stay with him because we just had very different ideas about how we wanted our lives to go.

Its a big part of my personality wanting everything now, its just who I am. Probably a lot of people's worst nightmare but if you want something in life you have to go and get it or run the risk of never having it. Personally, I hate surprises. The actual thought of being proposed to and having no idea makes me feel sick, a wedding in front of loads of people makes me feel sick as well! I cannot bear being the centre of attention, that is partly why no one is allowed to buy me birthday presents (I relented for my 21st but wish I bloody hadn't). I want to get married because I want to be with my OH forever, I don't want the wedding or the surprise or any of that, maybe that's why I'm also so impatient? Get it done and gone and then we're just married, which is the bit I really want...

Honestly if I had it my way I'd be off to a nice city in Europe with OH and a couple friends, get married and let people find out when I got back. Wouldn't invite any family/other friends or even tell them, I think I differ greatly from a large proportion of people in that respect I imagine.

We didn't want a big day either, one of the reasons the 'not being married' went on so long. In the end we went to Vegas with our parents, only about another half a dozen people knew about it. We just changed out status on facebook and let people find out for themselves. I wouldn't change anything about what we did.

GoldenShadow

Turtle wrote: »

We didn't want a big day either, one of the reasons the 'not being married' went on so long. In the end we went to Vegas with our parents, only about another half a dozen people knew about it. We just changed out status on facebook and let people find out for themselves. I wouldn't change anything about what we did.

I'd love that, no big build up just 'tada' here we are. Glad you are happy with the way you chose to do it

Georgiegirl256

Turtle wrote: »

We didn't want a big day either, one of the reasons the 'not being married' went on so long. In the end we went to Vegas with our parents, only about another half a dozen people knew about it. We just changed out status on facebook and let people find out for themselves. I wouldn't change anything about what we did.

We did a very similar thing, but we went to Gretna Green. Just us two, my parents and his Mam. If our parents had have been ok with the travelling, we'd have gone to Vegas too! Infact my Mam always thought that we'd just come back and say we'd done it! But, I couldn't have done it without them there though.

We are going to Las Vegas for our honeymoon! :j

Georgiegirl256

GoldenShadow wrote: »

I wouldn't give mine a specific deadline, but I'm pretty confident I know what I want in my life and I'm not prepared to be with anyone who doesn't want something similar. I'm an outdoorsy country type, and as my ex found out, I wasn't prepared to stay with him because we just had very different ideas about how we wanted our lives to go.

Its a big part of my personality wanting everything now, its just who I am. Probably a lot of people's worst nightmare but if you want something in life you have to go and get it or run the risk of never having it. Personally, I hate surprises. The actual thought of being proposed to and having no idea makes me feel sick, a wedding in front of loads of people makes me feel sick as well! I cannot bear being the centre of attention, that is partly why no one is allowed to buy me birthday presents (I relented for my 21st but wish I bloody hadn't). I want to get married because I want to be with my OH forever, I don't want the wedding or the surprise or any of that, maybe that's why I'm also so impatient? Get it done and gone and then we're just married, which is the bit I really want...

Honestly if I had it my way I'd be off to a nice city in Europe with OH and a couple friends, get married and let people find out when I got back. Wouldn't invite any family/other friends or even tell them, I think I differ greatly from a large proportion of people in that respect I imagine.

Oh, you'd be surprised, I don't think you differ that much, quite a lot of people now are just either having a really small Wedding, or going off on their own to get married.

As stated in the post above, we went to Gretna Green, and it was perfect for us. I think at first our Mam's were abit put out that we wouldn't be inviting friends and family, but in the end they realised it was just what we wanted, it was a lovely day, and most importantly, that you shouldn't worry what anyone else thinks....it's your and your OH's big day.

We'd been together and engaged for years, and like Turtle says, we just hated the thought of a big fuss, we weren't overly bothered about a wedding, then one day we just decided if we were going to do it, we were going to do it OUR way, and like you say, we were going to do it sooner rather than later, and so we organised everything in less than a month! It was really straight forward (ish :rotfl:), basically it's as complicated or as easy as you make it.

Oh, and for what it's worth, I hate surprises too! I think that it's because I'm abit of a control freak! :rotfl:

ETA: Because it was only a small do, and we only had my Mam and Dad and his Mam to keep entertained, I felt less pressure, and even enjoyed being the centre of attention for once! :eek: It was lovely when we walked up to the Blacksmiths Shop getting thumbs up and congratulations off tourists!

GoldenShadow

Haha the thumbs up from the tourists is really cute!

Georgiegirl256

GoldenShadow wrote: »

Haha the thumbs up from the tourists is really cute!

Yeah! They were taking photos too! :rotfl:

GoldenShadow

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Yeah! They were taking photos too! :rotfl:

Who needs a photographer when you have tourists :cool: :rotfl:

Georgiegirl256

GoldenShadow wrote: »

Who needs a photographer when you have tourists :cool: :rotfl:

:rotfl: I should have asked for copies!

Paige_Turner

I've been lurking around this thread for a couple of weeks now... My story is a bit different though...

OH and I have been together about 3.5 years and we love each other so much. We are such different personalities and we probably shouldn't get on, but I think we balance each other perfectly.

We have had some tough times since we got together. OH is in the military, which can be really tough, especially when you are not married.

Anyway, in the last year or so lots of our friends/relatives of our age have begun to get married and have kids. We have always said we would love to be married to each other, but it wasn't that big a deal. In fact, we bought a house last year because we would rather spend the money we had on bricks and mortar than a wedding.

However, seeing all of our friends getting married has made us both realise it is what we want, but a lack of funds means we can't afford the type of wedding we would both like (I don't have a big family but OH does and they are all very close so it couldn't really be a "small" wedding).

OH is off on tour again towards the end of the year and when he returns there will be openings for him to be posted to Cyprus. We would both love to take a few years out and live over there, but I could only go with him if we were married. OH has said we will just have to have a quickie wedding so we can both go, but I get the feeling that means I will never get a nice proposal or wedding with all of our family and friends...

I know the end result is the same, but I would like a bit of romance to go with it, not doing it cos the military says we have to :cool:

God I sound selfish...