Waiting for a proposal - how did you stay sane?!

Jessycat

We'd been together 6 years and 2 months before my OH proposed. We'd lived together 2.5 years and were away on holiday. I got a sunset proposal, very unexpected as he'd thrown me off the scent by saying he needed to save up to buy me a ring. Little did I know, he'd been carrying it with him secretly for 10 days prior to him asking me that all important question.

We'll have been together 8 years by the time we get married. I have seen so many people get married after a short time of being together and it not lasting. I'll be 31 and he'll be 29 on our wedding day. I am hoping our patience will mean it truly is ever happy after as sickly as it sounds

Ragtimeplayer

lucky_charm wrote: »

I've read this thread the whole way through, been a bit hesitant to share as I don't like to admit my feelings- I'm kind of ashamed of wanting my boyfriend to propose so much, I know in the grand scheme of things I have a huge amount to be thankful for and yet I find myself constantly thinking about marriage! Plus it makes me feel a bit desparate and it goes against my somewhat feminist nature to be waiting around for a man to do something! I'm also quite terrified that someone I know will see this- in real life I keep these feelings to myself but it has kind of gotten too much for me now I feel I need to talk to someone like minded.

Anyway a few more months passed, I had made the mistake of mentioning what he had said (re needing to save for a ring) to a friend who is now often asking 'any news?' The other day I was having a really emotional day and ended up telling him that I can't stop thinking about getting married and it was driving me crazy having to just wait around with no idea how long I was waiting for. He was basically a bit freaked out that I was so obsessed (maybe i really should have continued to hide it!) and doesn't understand at all where I'm coming from- I go on a lot about how we have to save a deposit for a house so he thought that would be my priority to save for and just repeated the thing about how it's not financially possible right now. I ended up looking at all kinds of wedding deals to see how cheaply it could be done and talking about it and how it wouldn't be too expensive but then I feel I can't really mention weddings as we are not engaged! I think I have weddings on the brain as one of my good friends is getting married next week.

Sometimes I feel a bit psychotic and just wish it wasn't so important to me and that I could stop thinking about it. At any rate I think I'll be lurking around this thread for a long time yet!

I really feel for you, I hope things work out for you, fingers crossed x

lucky_charm_2

Thanks for replying to me Well I have been to my friend's wedding, it was beautiful and so was she and I was happy that I didn't feel jealous at all just happy for her! I think it was good for my boyfriend too as he's mentioned for a few times how he wouldn't like a big wedding and so on the car journey home I was able to reassure him about various things, I used to vaguely want a big wedding but having seen the time and money and stress that would need to go into it, I'm now thinking I would prefer something much smaller and simpler and use the extra money towards the house deposit and a nice honeymoon to relax and spend quality time together . If I ever do get engaged I'm not sure how my (55!) aunts, uncles and cousins plus 1s would factor in to a very small wedding, but I'll cross that bridge when/ if i come to it!

FBaby

FBaby wrote: »

Ha ha, excellent thread, quite funny if not so funny

I'm there with you, well those who have almost agreed a date, but are still waiting for the ring to make it official.... My partner and I have been together almost 4 years and we've talked marriage from the start. This year, we have discussed it more tangibly, going over who we would invite, the type of wedding we wanted and the month (September). There is a bit of an issue around how much to spend (he's done it the full blown way, £20K or so to be cheated on and left a few years later, so understandbly not overly keen on the big due again!), but from my perspective, it seems pointless to discuss it in even more details when we are not even engaged.

There have been 1 bog opportunity for him to pop the question, my birthday last month when for the first time, both my dad and his mum were there... but it didn't happen. Then of course, Christmas coming, and this time, I bypassed the hinting part and provide the straight foward answer to 'what would you like for Christmas', but got the very unromantic response that supposedly (or read conveniently made up) Christmas is not the appropriate time for a proposal.... he is only getting away because the PERFECT opportunity is coming up right afterwards, our 4th year anniversary of our meeting begining of January... I would very much hope that he would pick this rather than Valentine, and well, that he sees that he is running out of time if he really intends for us to be married next September..

Ha men...why is it that they can be so impulsive when it comes to booking a trip away with the boys, but requires such detailed planning (or so they claim) just to pop a simple question!!!

Anyway, I shall be staying here for a while....

Well Christmas went by, then our meeting anniversary, then valentines day....and we got to the week-end before last and got so fed up, I let it all out, telling him how I had enough and we might as well just forget about our supposed plan to get married. He got all quiet, which got be even more irritated...until he shouted out why I couldn't have just been a little bit more patient as he had planned on proposing the following week-end....as we'd planned a week-end away! No need to say that shut me up Ironically, it didn't cross my mind for a second that he could plan to propose then. We have been going away on these week-end, 2 or 3 times a year (thanks Tesco points!!), so didn't think it would be any different and after 4 perfect opportunities gone, I had given up!

I thought that would be it, but we made up, went away on Friday and he did indeed proposed on Saturday evening. Still until that point I didn't believe it would happen. They do say good things come to those who last, I certainly did!!! I got the most beautiful ring, if for it being 4 sizes too big!! (I do have very little fingers).

FBaby

citizenkitten wrote: »

i think the expectation there from hollywood etc that it isnt good enough now to articulate you love them and want to get married, now you have to deliver the moon on the plate and write shakespears new sonnet. .

Just read this and had to laugh....he proposed in Stratford on avon, miles away from our home!!

lucky_charm_2

FBaby wrote: »

Well Christmas went by, then our meeting anniversary, then valentines day....and we got to the week-end before last and got so fed up, I let it all out, telling him how I had enough and we might as well just forget about our supposed plan to get married. He got all quiet, which got be even more irritated...until he shouted out why I couldn't have just been a little bit more patient as he had planned on proposing the following week-end....as we'd planned a week-end away! No need to say that shut me up Ironically, it didn't cross my mind for a second that he could plan to propose then. We have been going away on these week-end, 2 or 3 times a year (thanks Tesco points!!), so didn't think it would be any different and after 4 perfect opportunities gone, I had given up!

I thought that would be it, but we made up, went away on Friday and he did indeed proposed on Saturday evening. Still until that point I didn't believe it would happen. They do say good things come to those who last, I certainly did!!! I got the most beautiful ring, if for it being 4 sizes too big!! (I do have very little fingers).

Congratulations!!!!

heartbreak_star

*lip wobble*

I don't want to bring anyone down but I think you guys will understand.

Two of my friends have recently got engaged (to each other). He can't afford a big diamond so he chose a silver and CZ ring that's almost identical to the one they both liked for her to wear while they save for the diamond, and did a lovely romantic proposal because "he couldn't wait any longer".

They've only been together 6 months, and are in their early twenties.

I've been with OH nearly two years and known him 14 years. It just doesn't seem fair.

I'm absolutely made up for my friends, I squeaked with delight when she told me, and I don't know why this was the one that finally sent me over the edge - loads of my friends have got engaged and married over the time we've been together.

But I cried when I was next on my own.

Why am I so bothered? I know I should count my blessings - I have a very handsome OH who loves me for who I am and has said there is no danger of him leaving me. We live together and are very happy.

I still just want to marry him. I could cry again now.

*sniffle* sorry for the rant everyone.

HBS x

HeadAboveWater

Aw HBS *hug*

(sorry - I'm a bit stuck as to what to say to you )

heartbreak_star

Ahh thanks hun!

I guess I wouldn't know what to say to me either. I've had a stern word with myself. Didn't really work though haha!

HBS x

citizenkitten

HBS dont worry I was exactly the same about my sister getting engaged,

she has been with him 2 years ish, i am 7.5 years and counting.

i am due to get married in under 6 months and still no proposal.

le sigh - dont worry it will happen for all of us

watching secret eaters atm - guilty pleasure, they also make me a bit hungry lol. that pie sandwhich last week was the best!