Waiting for a proposal - how did you stay sane?!

74jax

Princess Kate I keep checking back for your update but you must be too loved up to type :-). Hurry back soon! We like details :-)

citizenkitten

FBaby wrote: »

he really intends for us to be married next September..

Ha men...why is it that they can be so impulsive when it comes to booking a trip away with the boys, but requires such detailed planning (or so they claim) just to pop a simple question!!!

Anyway, I shall be staying here for a while....

i think the expectation there from hollywood etc that it isnt good enough now to articulate you love them and want to get married, now you have to deliver the moon on the plate and write shakespears new sonnet.

wiggychick wrote: »

He did propose eventually, very romantic. We've now been married nearly three years and they have been the best three years of my life.

yay! congrats what a lovely story, hope for all of us.

citizenkitten

heartbreak_star wrote: »

No sparkly ring-shaped surprise for me. I'm a little bit sad, but I hoped rather than expected so it's not too bad.

I did get a beautiful necklace and various other nice things, so thoroughly spoiled. Fingers crossed for 2013 eh?

HBS x

rdchick wrote: »

wasn't expecting a ring... didn't get a ring but after everything that has happened the past few months I did get a message yesterday that made me happy - he said 'we have the rest of our lives to be together' yay!

hope everyone is well! xxx

nope no ring for me either, we set a budget of 55 pounds so i got some lovely nail varnish and a voucher for my favourite salon to have a massage

74jax wrote: »

Princess Kate I keep checking back for your update but you must be too loved up to type :-). Hurry back soon! We like details :-)

EXACTLY!! DETAILS!!


anyway in 2 days it will be 8 months till we are married.. those who know almost point to the ring finger everyday or drop it via email or text.

i knew he wasnt going to do it at christmas because it is a very depressing time for me.

but seriously....

i am now starting to slightly panic!!!!!!!

doesnt help that i dont want to arrange anything more for the wedding minus what i have done (got the church, got the priest) until i have the ring on my finger, i feel a bit of fraud otherwise or some sort of desperate bride....

rubbish.

redfragglebiker

I've not read through ALL of the posts on this thread (I am working my way through them however!) but I wanted to share my story.
I'm 32, he's 27. Been together (nearly) 5 years. Bought our first house together last year and GODAMNIT I WANT A PROPOSAL! OH knows that I am acutely aware of biologicakl clocks when it comes to perhaps having a family etc as it's something we've spoken about but he doesn't seem to realise that in an ideal world I want to get married BEFORE the wrinkles get to the point where I needa morning pot of filler in order to face the day. I've been told I should propose to him but he's terrible old fashioned and silly as it sounds he would be ever so hurt if I broke tradition and proposed to him.
I'm just getting a bit impatient and I'm almost at the point when I just want to shake him until I get a response!!!
Still it's our 5 year anniversary in June so I'm trying to take deep breaths and be patient in the hope that there might be something forthcoming on our anniversary date!
Am I being a complete nutter or am I semi justified in my frustrations?!?

heartbreak_star

Shake him, ha ha!

I'm just getting really down about it now. I fell for him the day I met him (though it wasn't mutual, he was my one that got away) and I still feel the same over a decade later. Am I not good enough?

I think it's worse because so many of our friends have married in the past few years.

HBS x

Bambisbelle

Sorry haven't read through the replies yet, but after reading the OP I have to say I am a lot worse.

Long story short after 3 years of me and OH faffing about (ie: being each others ones that got away at different points during the friendship) we've finally got it together (recently) we've live together previously during one of the times we were together. Anyway long story short were together now and I'm looking for a proposal (at some point this year).. Ha ha it seems a bit mental, I know but everyone is expecting it. And I'm the type of person who has their cake and wants to eat it too (I think that's the expression lol)

We had THE conversation about marriage etc and how I'm very traditional in the way he has to ask my parents permission first. Don't worry they're backing it 100% to the point of them actually asking him to propose to me ha ha!

Excuse the ramblings and butting in but I'm just so glad I'm not the only one I was never the marriage type but with him I just know...

englishrose19

Hello everyone!

I've been with my boyfriend for over three years but not planning on getting engaged any time soon as I am still only 20 (21 in April).

I've so enjoyed reading your lovely stories, hope there's lots more to come!

X

redfragglebiker

heartbreak_star wrote: »

Shake him, ha ha!

I'm just getting really down about it now. I fell for him the day I met him (though it wasn't mutual, he was my one that got away) and I still feel the same over a decade later. Am I not good enough?

I think it's worse because so many of our friends have married in the past few years.

HBS x

Oh good lord I am with you on that one - In the last two years nearly everyone I know seems to have either got married or had kids. I feel like a complete petulant toddler but I want to stomp my feets and shout MY TURN NOW at the top of my voice!
If I don't get a 'surprise' around our 5 year anniversary I may well resort to the shaking method - I'll let you know if it works!! :rotfl::p

lucky_charm_2

I've read this thread the whole way through, been a bit hesitant to share as I don't like to admit my feelings- I'm kind of ashamed of wanting my boyfriend to propose so much, I know in the grand scheme of things I have a huge amount to be thankful for and yet I find myself constantly thinking about marriage! Plus it makes me feel a bit desparate and it goes against my somewhat feminist nature to be waiting around for a man to do something! I'm also quite terrified that someone I know will see this- in real life I keep these feelings to myself but it has kind of gotten too much for me now I feel I need to talk to someone like minded.

I'm 25 and so is my boyfriend, we've been together 7 years (8 in April) and I've been waiting for a proposal for about 3 years. We were young when we first started going out so I wouldn't have wanted to get engaged in the first few years but it is something that has become more and more important to me and it is beginning to become a bit of a dangerous obsession! I remember I first thought he might propose after I spent 9 months on a gap year 2-3 years ago- he kept saying he had something amazing planned for when I was back in the UK for good. I came back and nothing happened, I tried to put it out of my mind but one day when i had been back for about 6 months I got a bit emotional and explained the thoughts I had been having- he couldn't even remember having said anything! He said he must have just meant we'd have a good time doing fun things once I was back in the UK, but that is not how I took it at all! Basically he said he was sorry but he wasn't ready for marriage or even to be engaged and he still thought we were too young (we were 23). Anyway I had no choice really but to accept this but I was in floods of tears, I was really shocked at myself as I didn't think it would matter so much to me!

Fast forward to 2012 and 2 of my close friends got engaged at the start of the year. I know it shouldn't matter but it did sting a bit as they had been with their boyfriends for 3-4 years less than the bf and I had been together, I was irrationally jealous, as well as being really pleased for them of course. It didn't help that I'd only just managed to get a graduate job and I was going to have to move across the country for it, meaning bf and I were going to have to do long distance again since he couldn't move with his job. My graduate job is for 2 years and I have to do the whole 2 years so my plans of moving in with my boyfriend have been put on hold and I'm struggling to save for our future home as I have to pay rent etc on my own. I try not to let it bother me as I'm so lucky to have a job at all but when I'm sitting on my own at night far from my family and friends I can feel a bit down.

Anyway I tried not to get too green-eyed about my friends' engagements and mostly succeeded, however the feeling of unhappiness over this slowly built up and a few months ago I spoke to bf about it again. Basically I said that it hurt that after so long he still wasn't ready to officially say I was the one he wanted to spend his life with- i couldn't understand how he would talk about our future all the time and say he will always be with me etc but still wasn't ready to be engaged- and he basically said he was more or less emotionally ready but that financially he had too many other things to save for (holidays and house deposit), I hinted by asking what would happen if I proposed myself but he didn't like that idea at all (I don't think he would say no but I think it's not the way either of us wants to do it) anyway I felt a lot better but did try to say I don't care about an expensive ring I just want him to confirm for certain he wants to marry me and for us to 'announce' that intention by officially getting engaged. Also at the moment I refer to him as boyfriend and people can assume its quite a casual short term thing but 'partner' doesn't really work either, so I think fianc! would sum it up better!

Anyway a few more months passed, I had made the mistake of mentioning what he had said (re needing to save for a ring) to a friend who is now often asking 'any news?' The other day I was having a really emotional day and ended up telling him that I can't stop thinking about getting married and it was driving me crazy having to just wait around with no idea how long I was waiting for. He was basically a bit freaked out that I was so obsessed (maybe i really should have continued to hide it!) and doesn't understand at all where I'm coming from- I go on a lot about how we have to save a deposit for a house so he thought that would be my priority to save for and just repeated the thing about how it's not financially possible right now. I ended up looking at all kinds of wedding deals to see how cheaply it could be done and talking about it and how it wouldn't be too expensive but then I feel I can't really mention weddings as we are not engaged! I think I have weddings on the brain as one of my good friends is getting married next week.

Sometimes I feel a bit psychotic and just wish it wasn't so important to me and that I could stop thinking about it. At any rate I think I'll be lurking around this thread for a long time yet!

Fleur1104

Hi ladies,

I've lurked on this thread a while but wanted to post this time to tell you all not to give up! I've been with my boyfriend for nearly 9 years and had almost given up hope he'd propose. 2 of my closest friends got married last year after only being with their fellas for a couple of years and I was so jealous. I kept dropping hints but he seemed oblivious and always had an excuse, we bought a house together so I knew he wasn't afraid of the commitment, I just think he was still unnerved by the thought of a wedding (we're both 28 so not too young).

BUT he surprised the life out of me on new year's eve with a lovely romantic proposal and we've already set a date for April next year. He's not exactly overrunning with enthusiasm for wedding planning but I'm hoping he'll get more into it as we get closer to the big day.

So, I'd say bear with him, you never know what he's thinking - he might just surprise you! And don't give up hope.