Waiting for a proposal - how did you stay sane?!

Daisy-May*

Squ1rrel5 it all sounds very promising on the proposal front you will have to keep us updated!

Jtr, sorry to hear how you are feeling, its horrible when things like this happen. I do hope you are ok, if you need to chat please feel free to PM me xx

verandi

Hi everyone. I haven't been around much either for a few weeks, it's increasingly difficult to do anything other than read the topic from my phone without OH seeing. Wish I could say that no news is good news, but alas, no developments at my end! Other than my sister, who is younger than me but owns a house and got married last year, is now pregnant. And I'm happy for her and doing the whole excited thing, but inside I'm going mad with jealousy. Then feeling like I'm a terrible person for being jealous of her. I wouldn't feel so bad if I was at least married and knew I was gonna be able to have a baby myself soon but it's looking more and more likely that nothing is gonna happen on that front at all this year.

Jtr, I understand completely why you're taking a break from here. And I don't know if you'll read this or not. But one thing struck me more than anything from what you wrote. You're making the sacrifice of owning a home for him. You're making the sacrifice of not having children. And it sounds like you're making the sacrifice of getting married now as well. What sacrifice or compromise is he making in return? Wish you all the best and that no matter what happens, you'll be happy. You deserve it xx

AllyS

Hi all

Hope everyone is ok

Conversation with OH last night.

Me: How you feeling about the proposal these days? (very cheekily)
Him: I want to buy you a ring, but don't have any money - cue sad face from him
Me: but I don't care
Him: I know, but you deserve something pretty and want I want to get you something nice that you can be proud of
Me: Delay tactic?
Him: No, I want to it all to be nice cause I love you!!

I am going to be waiting forever!!! There is no way that he is going to be able to save for a nice ring very quickly, take at least a year Work are cutting everyone's hours soon too, do they not realise that they are affecting my life :eek::D:p

Damn society and there bl**dy expensive rings!
Damn the government for the bl**dy recession

:rotfl:

rdchick

Aww Ally but it's progress! xxx

Beulah

Jtr, I was so moved by your post. I can relate so much to how you feel. Not sure if you'll read this but I wanted to echo those wishing you happiness xxx

lisajane8482

AllyS, what about a cheaper ring until he can afford an expensive one? I have a silver melanite pandora ring for my engagement ring (I chose it) and I love it. I could have picked something more expensive (the budget was £250, I only spent £50) but I wanted the Pandora silver heart ring for my wedding ring, knew OH was short of cash and would rather put the money that was left towards the wedding.

Chick

verandi wrote: »

Hi everyone. I haven't been around much either for a few weeks, it's increasingly difficult to do anything other than read the topic from my phone without OH seeing. Wish I could say that no news is good news, but alas, no developments at my end! Other than my sister, who is younger than me but owns a house and got married last year, is now pregnant. And I'm happy for her and doing the whole excited thing, but inside I'm going mad with jealousy. Then feeling like I'm a terrible person for being jealous of her. I wouldn't feel so bad if I was at least married and knew I was gonna be able to have a baby myself soon but it's looking more and more likely that nothing is gonna happen on that front at all this year.

Jtr, I understand completely why you're taking a break from here. And I don't know if you'll read this or not. But one thing struck me more than anything from what you wrote. You're making the sacrifice of owning a home for him. You're making the sacrifice of not having children. And it sounds like you're making the sacrifice of getting married now as well. What sacrifice or compromise is he making in return? Wish you all the best and that no matter what happens, you'll be happy. You deserve it xx

Oh Verandi, I so could have written exactly what you put in your post...I am in a similar situtaion with a younger sibling having a baby, with wedding bells ringing and a mortgage all in the bag. I'm exactly the same with the feeling happiness for them but with envy and/or dare I say it jealously, raging just beneath the surface, then beating myself up for feeling that way and telling myself I am BAD person.

You are so right about the whole not feeling so bad if you were at least married, knowing that a baby would be the next step (all being well) etc etc. This is absolutely my mindset, that feeling of certainty that things are at least heading in the right direction.

Ha ha same here, absolutely no chance of anything happening this year...back in january I was so down when I posted, you lot really helped pick me up.
I decided just to put a lid on it all for now, it was dominating my mind and getting a bit too much. Plus I was feeling rubbish about nagging/going on at my OH about it all, dropping massive hints and talking about other people getting engaged/pregnant.

Everyone- more acquaintances than close friends- seems to be at it in recent months!! or am I just noticing it more as my emotions are heightened to it all?
The thought of pestering/pushing/bullying him into a proposal makes me feel very immature & childish...in any case this would push him further away I think.

Jtr- your post was heartfelt and I feel your pain, I truly hope that things work out for you the way you want them to and that above all you find your happiness over the next few months. I echo what verandi said about compromise and too much of it coming from you. Think hard about you really want, you deserve to be truly happy

squ1rrel5

Jtr, i hope you're still reading in secret. I haven't been around much last few days and missed your departure... We all miss you! Am thinking of you and keeping fingers crossed all turns out for the best. PM us if you need to, we are here for you xx

No news here yet, apart from the fact that oh was on web all afternoon looking at nyc stuff. Got a weekend of diy planned and pint down the pub with his mate so nothing likely to happen unless he's lulling me into a false sense of security! I doubt he'd even think to do that though!

squ1rrel5

So got the end of the weekend and no ring... I wonder how long its going to take to come back from the jewellers..... maybe next weekend....

I'm a bit weirded out as the first time I got engaged was around this time of march about 10 years ago!!! My OH doesnt know when the last time was so how weird if he did it on the same date!!!!! :eek: I couldnt say anything I'd just have to go with the flow :rotfl:

minerva_windsong

No news on my end I'm afraid, and it's all a bit up in the air at the moment. OH is talking about us potentially going travelling together 'before we settle down', which whilst it would be amazing is kind of making me feel like it's getting us further and further away from getting married (as well as me worrying about what happens when we come back and have to explain to employers exactly what we've spent the last few months doing). We've got quite a lot on in the early part of the year with holidays and friends' weddings, so probably wouldn't go until August at the earliest, and of course if one of us gets a permanent job in the meantime it would probably be put on the backburner, but I have to admit I don't like the unsettled feeling I have about it.

On the other hand, I could always try to persuade him that if we held off for a couple of years it would make for an amazing honeymoon...