Waiting for a proposal - how did you stay sane?!

Daisy-May*

jtr2803 wrote: »

You sound very sane (unlike me!), I really hope you get your proposal soon, 7.5 years is definitely long enough in my books!

My OH would beg to differ!! Ive had some really bad times of really obsessing over getting married (not bothered really about getting engaged its more the marriage I want) I think I've calmed down a little bit as my mind has been focused on starting my new job (starting middle of March) and OH is pretty stressed with stuff as well so I dont want to put anymore pressure or stress onto him.

I still look at wedding venues and dresses etc but dont really see the point as I cant plan or book anything yet anyway.:(

squ1rrel5

So here I am the morning after my friends announcement and I think I have finally calmed down.

They didnt even make an announcement as such - I just spotted the ring on her finger (and my heart sank right that second!)

Yes i do have a huge number of mixed emotions... am so so happy for my friends - they are a lovely couple and I cant wait for them to get married. My OH says I was the model friend last night and was super excited for them but it was only when we got in the car on the way home that I let it all out!

1. I am JEALOUS
2. I am so pleased but feel GUILTY that I always have negative feelings at the same time.

I know its not a competition but I think because me and OH are 4/5 years older than them, that it would be us first. Now I feel that IF it does happen anytime soon for us, they've kind of stolen our thunder a bit (and that we'll also be stealing theirs). I know that sounds really childish but I'm sure thats what some people might think!! My friend and I have had a very (spookily) similar path in our relationships over the past few years and it quite often gets commented on as a joke, so Im figuring this will be just more ammunition for some (not very tactful) people to wind us up!!

Anyway to cut a long story short (I could go on forever) but while I was teary last night and rambling on about my emotions, OH apologised to me....and when I asked why, he said because he was supposed to have done it by now but the ring (which he HAS bought) was not the correct size in the shop - I have an awkward half size - so he has had to have it resized and its taking AGES. He said he thought it'd be back this weekend but he doesnt know when it will be. He did say as soon as he gets it back he WILL ask asap...
I apologised too as I feel like I've probably taken the shine off it a bit for him really, but he says he just wants to get married and even though its not a complete surprise it will just make him happy to be able to give me the ring as soon as he can!!!

I just need to go and chill now............. :rotfl:

jtr2803

squ1rrel5 wrote: »

So here I am the morning after my friends announcement and I think I have finally calmed down.

They didnt even make an announcement as such - I just spotted the ring on her finger (and my heart sank right that second!)

Yes i do have a huge number of mixed emotions... am so so happy for my friends - they are a lovely couple and I cant wait for them to get married. My OH says I was the model friend last night and was super excited for them but it was only when we got in the car on the way home that I let it all out!

1. I am JEALOUS
2. I am so pleased but feel GUILTY that I always have negative feelings at the same time.

I know its not a competition but I think because me and OH are 4/5 years older than them, that it would be us first. Now I feel that IF it does happen anytime soon for us, they've kind of stolen our thunder a bit (and that we'll also be stealing theirs). I know that sounds really childish but I'm sure thats what some people might think!! My friend and I have had a very (spookily) similar path in our relationships over the past few years and it quite often gets commented on as a joke, so Im figuring this will be just more ammunition for some (not very tactful) people to wind us up!!

Anyway to cut a long story short (I could go on forever) but while I was teary last night and rambling on about my emotions, OH apologised to me....and when I asked why, he said because he was supposed to have done it by now but the ring (which he HAS bought) was not the correct size in the shop - I have an awkward half size - so he has had to have it resized and its taking AGES. He said he thought it'd be back this weekend but he doesnt know when it will be. He did say as soon as he gets it back he WILL ask asap...
I apologised too as I feel like I've probably taken the shine off it a bit for him really, but he says he just wants to get married and even though its not a complete surprise it will just make him happy to be able to give me the ring as soon as he can!!!

I just need to go and chill now............. :rotfl:

It sounds like you did amazingly well last night, I am not sure how I would have reacted! My best friend has been trying for a baby for a while and it wouldn't have surprised me if her boyfriend had proposed and I know I would do the happy/sad/jealous thing too.

It sounds like your OH really does have it all planned though which is great news . Aren't you more interested about which ring he went and bought??

squ1rrel5

I think he'll have gone for the vintagey one... I hope so

rdchick

Fingers crossed it will happen soon Squirrel! We need some good news!

Just made a wedding card for some friends of ours as it's their wedding next month, she sent me a pic of her wedding dress, it's gorgeous, she's done well to get one that's floor length as she's over 6 foot! They are the tallest couple I have ever met but very lovely!

Keep telling myself.. One day...
Xxx

Brightside

well done squ1rrel5 on being so happy for your friends even though you were hurting so much on the inside

i'm sure they will be equally happy for you soon:beer:

rocks+mountains

squ1rrel- well done about being so good and calm whilst with your friend. But on the positive note the OH really does seem to be waiting for the ring and to make it right so it will be you soon. That thing about you and your friend having similar relationship paths is a little weird though I guess!

And I know this might seem silly but do you sometimes forget that people are engaged? I haven't seem one of my friends for a while and we went out for her birthday and she was on about weddings and it suddenly clicked that they were also engaged too! It happened about 6 months ago but having not seen her for a while I just kind of forgot about it! So thats another one I have to remember has a fiancee and not a boyfriend, the joys...

jtr2803

Squirrel, I place money on the fact that by the end of next weekend, you will be engaged . I hope you are getting really excited now, especially as you know he essentially has the ring, it REALLY is happening :j

I was being very balanced about things today until I saw these:

http://www.dune.co.uk/hearty-d-swirl-diamante-sandal-prodheartyd90silver/

ME WANTS sooooooooo badly, they are probably the most perfect wedding shoes I have ever seen! :rotfl: I wasn't even with OH at the time but did show them to him on the website, he didn't even twig they were (or would be) wedding shoes!?! :mad:

Just over 2 weeks till Kenya now so the clock is ticking.....

renowen

Just another 'lady in waiting' joining this thread!

Me and OH have been together 8 years this May and have 3 children so I think we are as commited as you can get, but still no proposal

Problem is, OH isn't the proposing type I don't think. He isn't one for heart felt, romantic gestures for one, and for another when we have discussed getting married he seems to think it involves huge do's costing thousands upon thousands of pounds, when in all honesty I actually look forward to the challenge of having a very MSE wedding but still with all the trimmings!

I think what doesn't help is both my cousin and friend are getting married this year and another friend next year so, although I am very happy for them, I will openly admit I am wildly jealous
Another thing is that I have a date in my head of when I would love to get married - June half term 2014, this is as close as I can get to what would be out 10th Anniversary of becoming a couple but being in half term would mean we can take advantage of the cheaper weekday wedding without our children (and other peoples) having to take time off school!
I've even got some venues in mind and did book to go view one but cancelled as knew that was just rediculous :rotfl:

Will admit I've upped my wedding and marriage talk in the hope it will persuade him and even got the kids involved (they love the idea of being bridesmaids lol) so who knows?!

rdchick

Welcome Renowen! Wow 8 years that is a long time but like you say 3 kids is a big commitment!

Had a heart to heart with the boy last night, turns out he's scared about not being able to do stuff because we can't afford it (we have about 10k worth of debt between us - mine being nearly 8k of that...) I plan to be debt free next Aprilish and between us we earn over 55k so we SHOULD be able to afford anything we want.

He has said he wants us to own our own house before we marry... Something I am sure we can do by christmas next year for sure, just need to knuckle down I guess. I think it all came down to a fleeting comment about marriage I made after watching The Hangover... (just said I can't wait for us to get married) he went very quiet after that

Once I am debt free I am saving every extra penny of my wage for a deposit/ wedding! Xxx