Private Schools

property.advert

Sending him to private school for just a couple of years would be a huge mistake. Moving him at all could be equally disastrous. Perhaps better to face up to the fact that he isn't destined for university and perhaps that is not too bad a thing. No debt, earning from a younger age, get some life skills and perhaps a trade and he could be a millionaire before he's 30.

You cannot get a decent plumber or sparky for love nor money and a half bright individual with a trade and some common sense could use that university money to set up on their own and make a killing. I would seriously consider it were I starting out again.

Personally I think the train has long since left the station in terms of moving him to private school. Leave the lad where he is, try and get him some tuition if he will go for it, concentrate on the fundamentals and try to get him interested in something which he can thrive at. Private school or not, he isn't going to be a brain surgeon.

mountainofdebt

VJsmum wrote: »

if he's crap at maths then he's crap at maths but at the moment he thinks he's crap at everything despite our best efforts to tell him and show him otherwise.

Well all I will say is that my lad,although in the top set for maths all the way through comprehensive always gave the impression he didn't have a clue what was going on. When it came to his mock GCSEs in the february I was told that he would probably get a B and an A if he worked. Well his dad and I worked every week with him and was ever so proud when he got an A* . Would have loved to have seen his teacher's face when he got the results.

He's now doing A Level maths and strangely enough with different teachers its one of his best subjects.

property.advert wrote: »

Sending him to private school for just a couple of years would be a huge mistake. Moving him at all could be equally disastrous.

Totally agree with this but

property.advert wrote: »

he isn't going to be a brain surgeon.

Nothing quite like writing him off at 11 there! Would love the OP to come back in a few years time and prove you wrong!


OP I often asked my lad if he wanted me to go to the school and ask for him to be moved - tbh the maths teacher he had, all through comprehensive school was a useless teacher - and he would say no. When I decided to take matters in hand I told my lad I wish I had acted like a proper parent and demanded that he be moved if only to be got away from that teacher years previously.

onlyroz

balletshoes wrote: »

could he be nurtured through his below-average subjects in a different way ie through private tutor for example?

This was what I was going to suggest.

pearl123

Private school fees will increase every year.
Also to be taken into account would be the cost of private school uniforms/ kit. Usually very expensive. Also he would make friends with more afluent people/friends - he'd probably want to keep up with what other kids were doing. Your costs would leap.

A private tutor could be a solution, as others have mentioned -if you wanted to avoid a major long term financial commitment.

http://www.privateschools.co.uk/school-guide/school-fees/

bacardi66

I wouldn't necessarily go with the theory that private school would build your son's confidence, when I was 11 I won a scholarship to a private school and it had the opposite effect.

From being top of all the classes at my state primary and academically confident I was suddenly surrounded by super bright kids with very pushy parents, I lost the confidence I had and never achieved my potential as felt I was thick compared to the others and eventually gave up trying. It really put me off education and I left school at 18 rather than go to University.

Also socially it can be very hard at a private school if you don't come from a wealthy background, my parents couldn't afford the school trips, new uniforms (I had to wear second hand) etc which also doesn't do much to build your confidence!

Maybe things are different at private schools now and I know boys are more oblivious to these things than girls but I wouldnt assume that sending your son to private school would boost his confidence.

pinkclouds

VJsmum wrote: »

He doesn't like school but loves learning - watches documentaries, reads books on things that interest him but doesn't see the point of maths for example.

ANyone got any advice, or could share some experience?

There are lots of different ways to pursue a good education. Perhaps it's time to think outside the box. If you can afford at least 2 years of private schooling then you can afford to consider other things too.

If he doesn't like school but likes to learn, then he should do very well in home education. The cost would be keeping you at home to aid and supervise him. Unless your salary is in 6 figures, I can't see this costing much more than private school. If you are unable to stay at home, perhaps another close relative could?

If he doesn't like his (current) school environment, then he might benefit from leaving mid-way and going to college for his Highers (or whatever senior school exams are current, these days). I know someone who did this because he was a bit older than his peers and did better in a more independent/adult environment where the students were both motivated and responsible for their own studies.

If he is bright and dedicated but not academically motivated, then leaving school at the earliest opportunity and becoming an apprentice might be worthwhile. There is a big difference between the tedium of cold trig or calculus in a sterile classroom and practical engineering in real life.

I have attended both state and private schools and there are pros/cons to all of them. You just make the best decision you can, at the time and within your means. I know he's a boy but my various exams, undergrad and postgrad degrees have led to life as a homemaker with two small kids. Bits of paper won't necessarily change your life but a love of learning (which he already has) will stand him in good stead forever.

Molly41

Think if you commit to private then you need to see it through to Gcse at least. He might surprise you - it really is too soon to writing him off academically.

CH27

I'd look into getting a private tutor for the important subjects.

Private schools are very expensive & may not be suited to your son.

Gloomendoom

The private tutor idea is not a bad one. It is what my sister has done for her son for maths, physics and chemistry. Although, it has to be said, that the private tutors concerned are actually our Mum and Dad.

I was in a similar situation to the OP's son, an academic underachiever who was set to go to a very poorly rated state school. My parents scrimped and saved and sent me to private school (for seven years) and it did me the world of good. I can't say that it turned me into an Einstein, but at least I made it to the sixth form and on to higher education. Also, as has been said, the confidence aspect should not be underestimated.

Somebody made the point about fees increasing every year. Oddly enough my next door neighbour was moaning about the very same thing only yesterday. That, and the 'extras' that get added to to bill every year. His son is blind so he doesn't have any moral issues, whatever they might be.

BTW OP, there is nothing wrong with going on the bins. It's a job I took myself for a short stint when I needed a job, any job. I actually enjoyed it.

lostinrates

just another perspective, my niece, like her sister (and in the past me) goes to a private school. She sounds a little like your son. She's simply not terribly academic. She is not ''thick'' and has any wonderful attributes. Its fair to say her first school was wrong for her, but the second one was AMAZING. They too a little girl with charm but who was starting to sideline herself i comparison to her sister and struggling to a girl with confidence, improved scope in her academic subjects and a broader extra curricular interest. She has a particular non academic talent which was fostered.

My nieces, as their aunt and mother did, always where second hand uniform. Both by necessity and because given a choice they' rather money was spent on stuff other than ''ugly clothes I don't want''. In our experience this is common among soe of the richest kids too. Its the sort of middling kids (often whose parents have less experience and think that it will make their kids seem ''poor'') who buy new and keep the second hand shop going! (in fact, my school changed the uniform and I'm sure the blazers seeing their 30th time through school were something to do with that!)


Schools are tremendously different and ''private'' may well be just as bad a fit. If you do decide to go ahead look at a good few, because there are rubbish private schools, and good ones that simply won't fit. There are mainly which offer broadly the same as the state system but smaller classes, which in themselves, without enthusiastic teaching and individual support, are simply fewer people in a room to the teacher.

Also, contrary to some info, in my experience private schools take a cross section of ability....i.e. I've known plenty of less academic students at schools (and super bright ones, lucky things!).