Private Schools

VJsmum

We are debating putting our 12 year old son (year 7) into a private school. He goes to a regular and quite good for the area comprehensive where his more academic sister is doing really well. But he is mr average to below average and we don't feel that he is geting the best opportunities in a class full of 30 or so below average and disruptive pupils (daughters classes don't really have disruptive pupils as they are all of A / A* ability).

We can afford it (just) this year and probably next, we are putting money away for him to go to university but he won't get there, so there is something of a dilemna. Do we put him in for 2 years and hope that we can still afford to put him thro another 2 up to GCSE stage, should we accept that we could plunder his university money if it comes to it, or accept that 2 years is better than nothing and if we can't afford it then he will have to move again.

On top of that I don't really hold with private schools but i think he has greater ability than he is going to be given opportunity for in this school and this school is the best in the area. We can't move cos that would disrupt daughter who is going into year 11 - GCSE year. I also realise you can't make a silk purse out of a sows ear, and although he isn't going to make a silk purse, he isn't a sow's ear either. Or should we accept that " he will be what he will be" and it may not matter where we send him, there are other things to learn etc. He doesn't like school but loves learning - watches documentaries, reads books on things that interest him but doesn't see the point of maths for example.

ANyone got any advice, or could share some experience?

peachyprice

If he were capable of achieving higher would his school not have put him in a higher streamed class, where there would be less disruptive people?

I really do think it would be incredibly unfair to send him to a private school in the knowledge that there's a possibility you can only afford it for two years. What if he loves it there then you have to remove him? That could quite possibly be a complete waste of those two years if he's going to go to pieces once put back into your local school.

What does your son want to do, does he think he will do better in the private school and does he know he may not be able to stay there right through to year 11?

LittleMissMPB

Just a quick reply as my other half wants the laptop back, but have you tried talking to the school about it? See if there is anything you can do at home to improve his performace so he can move 'up' a class?

If private school really is the only answer, I would be tempted to leave it until years 10 and 11 for GCSE years.

Tropez

Most private schools have entrance exams as they only want to take on good to exceptional students so as not to trash their grade records. Would he pass?

Really though, I feel the majority of real education, that truly affects an individual's future comes after high school anyway. GCSE's can be vastly overrated and most employers and universities are more interested in college level qualifications in their actual career choice than a mish mash of subjects that may or may not be related. It is important, of course, that he has some grasp of maths, sciences and English, but a lot of what is taught in maths and science is useless and impractical for the majority of people. High school exists to encourage children to choose their path by discovering what they are most in tune with and what they enjoy but few high schools, even private ones, are going to offer a full educational experience for a child

Furthermore, if your son is already finding certain subjects pointless, how is he going to feel in himself if you transfer him to a school where the best results are demanded, particularly in the basic subjects such as maths? Some private schools still teach Latin as a matter of course which has no practical value for anything - is he going to be suited to an education that is going to demand the best results on subjects that could easily be considered utterly pointless?

Private schooling doesn't indicate that someone will do better with their life. I went to a state school and earn three times or more than some of my privately educated friends - the reason being is because my parents encouraged me to do the things I enjoyed doing rather than worry too much about the things I thought were silly.

Kimberley82

If you can afford it do it. I went private and would do anything to sne dmy 2.

balletshoes

I have no experience of the private education system at all - but one thing in your post OP struck me. If your son doesn't see the point of maths for example in his current school, what do you think it is about private school which would change his mind about that - wouldn't he still think maths was pointless?

VJsmum

Thanks for the replies, i do appreciate them.

We haven't spoken to him yet but obviously will do, he knows where he stands academically and we only ever say that we want him to do his best. I myself went to one of the worst schools in the country and now teach at university - largely thro sheer hard work and determination. It is more that he needs a nurturing environment that this school is just not able to give. As i said he isn't a silk purse but i feel that he could do better in a different environment. The schools we are looking at are not selective and in any case he is above average in some things (English) and exceptional at sport but below average in others.

I feel that he won't get the best opportunities at this school, and the ideal is that we will try to put him through 4 years up to his GCSEs but are being extra cautious given the precarious state of the job market.

I just want to be able to unlock that love of learning he has in some areas and spread it to other aspects. open the blinkers a bit.

Anyhow thanks again for your replies, they are certainly food for thought.

moodydonkey

What does your son want to do? Does he feel he is being limited through what his school is teaching him. Would he have better GCSE options at a different school?

balletshoes

could he be nurtured through his below-average subjects in a different way ie through private tutor for example?

dmg24

Got to agree with Tropez - private school is not going to benefit everyone. If you are looking at earning potential, my brother (state school) was not particularly good at school but now earns far more than me (private). If you are looking at intelligence/ IQ, I am miles ahead of him, however I have absolutely no common sense. Swings and roundabouts?

The one thing that my school gave me was the confidence to be different, I am far from conventional. It is one of the reasons that I don't earn a great deal, I work sufficiently to have a nice life, and no more. I guess that was not what my parents intended when they were paying out thousands each year!

I would disagree about the lack of value in learning Latin. A knowledge of Latin acts as a solid basis for learning other (Latin based) languages, as well as for being able to understand and interpret new words. It is especially relevant for those who go into Law or Medicine, as much of the terminology has its roots in Latin.

VJsmum

balletshoes wrote: »

I have no experience of the private education system at all - but one thing in your post OP struck me. If your son doesn't see the point of maths for example in his current school, what do you think it is about private school which would change his mind about that - wouldn't he still think maths was pointless?

I see your point but i think he is surrounded by children who just don't care and don't see the point in learning and it is filtering thro to him - he is a good boy and doesn't get into trouble or anything but in a class of 30 children that a teacher can't control i am feeling like he doesn't stand a chance! There was a stand up fight in his maths lesson the other day and the teacher was thrust against a wall Where are the learning opportunities here.

In the meantime we are about to embark on a private tutor whose remit is to try to open his mind a bit to the wonders of learning in all areas - even maths!