SAHM paying off debts slowly

slm6002

I was advised that I will need to pay a fee of £180 to the mortgage company to transfer the equity.  I will also need to pay for a solicitor to draw up the paperwork (dread to think what the cost of this will be).  OH will also need his own solicitor too.  It is so annoying because neither me or OH will be able to get a decent enough mortgage to afford a house the right size.  With the equity and the mortgage, all i can get realistically is a 2 bed flat around here.  I don't want to be the one to break it to all 3 of my kids that they are going to have to share a room.  Its just not practical.  Need the inheritance sooner rather than later and to be able to spend it on a house without UC saying they will be stopping benefits as i could have lived off that money.  On the mortgage forum it also says i may need to pay some sort of stamp duty on the bit i am transfering.  I am confussed.  Is it just easier to sell up and hope i can find something?

slm6002

Well eventually OH turned up and he stood on the doorstep.  I have never stopped him coming in the house, but he never does.  I went upstairs and folded washing until the shopping delivery arrived.  By this point OH and kids were out in the rain stroking the puppy.  They said they were not allowed to hug him  because 'Mummy will go crazy if you do'.  He is trying to make me the bad guy again it would appear.  I don't mind as long as he hasn't been in contact with covid people as far as he knows.  I was going to say they can go and stay the weekend of fathers day but it was never bought up apparently.  Im waiting for the 'your stopping me from seeing the kids' line, which I have never done.
Anyway I am feeling a lot less hurt by his visit today as I didn't get to see him really.  I just obviously need to avoid him to get over it.  Now to carry on sorting the divorce and financial split.

slm6002

I've just found that the Halifax allow UC as income.  This is who I bank with so hopefully they will see I am a good payer and perhaps let me have a mortgage?  No harm in finding out.  Its given me a little more hope anyway

Honeysucklelou2

Reading with interest as I will have to sort out a mortgage at some point when consent order is finally sorted. I didn’t know that about the Halifax so thank you for sharing that.

slm6002

Honeysuckle, I too am waiting for all paperwork to go through.  Not sure why OH is holding it up as he is the one that left and finished the marriage.  You would have thought he would want it done and dusted, especially as I am the one paying for it.  Not sure how far I can go before things have been agreed and signed off, but at least I know there is hope.  On a positive note eldest DD got her first choice in GCSE options confirmed today.  At least we know the subjects we can concentrate on and work out what we need to save for the school trips (Iceland and Paris!) should they still go ahead.  I have just been brave and asked OH if he wants to have the kids for fathers day weekend.  Also asked him to send paperwork back if he hasn't already so I can get his money sorted (thought if I added that it might encourage him to get moving).  I know for the financial order he will need to get information about his pensions.  As we know he is no good with paperwork and will have no idea what to looks for or where to find it.  Just think its going to be a long road ahead trying to get it sorted

slm6002

Well todays correspondence with OH has  been polite on both sides.  He is going to have the kids for fathers day (asked when that was! - he never bought his father a card as that was always my job!).  He has asked if I can get 20k extra on mortgage to buy him out.  I said I was looking into it and was hoping so as we both need to move on asap.  He will be signing papers tonight hopefully.  I am guessing as he has plucked this figure out of the air he has got his eyes on something for that amount.  All the calculations that I had done make it 25 - 35k that I would need to pay over so happy to reduce it to 20k.  Told him not to hold his breath as not sure I can get mortgage as yet,  I didn't want him thinking it was easy for me to find spare money at the drop of the hat.  On a not so positive note I dropped my dinner on my bare foot and burnt it as well as loosing my dinner.  Oh well.  I am currently watching location location location on catch up tv.  I am watching the first series and its so funny, and they have definitely improved over the years lol

slm6002

Good morning.  Having a lazy morning while kids sleep in.  This slower way of life at the moment is quite nice compared to our crazy schedule of 'normal' times.  Yesterday morning I had a plan in my head and was staying in my house and then the builders turn up for the plot behind our house and start measuring things and making marks on the ground.  For the past 15+ years since I have lived here the piece of land had been small waste land out the back, but in the past few months there has been a lot of activity.  We have a great plot and great parking in an area where parking is at a premium,  With a new house possibly being put forward this will change quite a lot of the benefits here.  So now I am in the quandary again over moving.  Do I spend the money making this house into what we need or do I move for a fresh start into something already ready for us.  There are a couple of really nice houses out there, but then I would have to sell this one in time to get those, and having tried the other year, who knows how long that would take.  Plus with uncertain times ahead, does it really make sense to move.  Head is spinning.  If I knew they were not building out the back I think I would be happy to stay and put up with the issues I have, but this just might be the tipping point.  
OH is having the kids next weekend overnight and as much as I love them I am starting to plan a night of no kids, my food and maybe some chocolates for just me, with  film.  In reality it probably wont be that different to my normal evening (apart from the treats), but might be able to clean and not look back to find my works been undone lol.  
OK off for my shower.  Hope you all have a good day

Mumoffourkids

I am so with you on making decisions about where to live. Whether to move or not and I find it hard to make a decision by myself with no one to share in big decisions with. 

slm6002

It really is hard.  I have so many memories in this house some good but more recently bad.  I just don't feel like it is home anymore.  However my sensible head says we are probably already in a recession, 2nd wave could be on its way, Brexit problems are possibleon the way and I am now a single mum earing a part time wage.  It is not a sensible time to move.  But I am not happy here so can I really move on until I move and get the kids a room of their own where no one knows us.  One of the houses I like is in the same village as my dad who really is the only family support I have currently, even though my brother is only 5 min walk away!  Only thing I don't like about that one is it is storage heaters and en bloc parking plus my room would be downstairs -  I don't think I would mind too much plus it comes with ensuite.  Me being snobby here but I prefer central heating and to be able to see my car on my drive at night, plus in a few years time the kids might have cars and no where to park them.  The other isn't too far from here but opposite way from my dad.  Lovely ex council house so assuming its built well and it has been extended really nicely.  Plenty or parking on the driveway but DS would end up with bedroom downstairs which I know I would find odd but for him to not have a box room would be great.  House looks great but there is an old middle school at the end of a long garden, and pretty sure ive heard they are building houses on there, so not so quiet possibly in the future.  For both I would need to have inheritance and keep mortgage the same as now.  If I stay however and get inheritance I could extend into the attic for the much wanted/needed forth bedroom, downstairs toilet, new kitchen and bathroom, rewire whole house and extend the electric into the garage, and hopefully have a slightly reduced mortgage.  Downsides for staying are memories, some overfriendly neighbours (caring but invite themselves in or are a bit too touchy feely for me - was ok when OH here to protect and tell them to back off, but now a bit too much), pretty sure new house being built out back and parking will be an issue.  Also if going into loft my storage for xmas tree etc and hand me down clothes I keep up there for kids wont be there so need to find where to store? So difficult.  On top of this we have the added issue of benefits.  I may not have it to spend as I may need to replace benefits with it - but wont know until after I receive it.  I asked the question and they said until ive spent it they cant say if it was allowed basically and if that's the case I cant afford anything other than to stay as I am with OH on mortgage.  Aghhhh

Mumoffourkids

You seem to go through the same thought processes as I do. I love where my house is situated as it’s so convenient for the shops, train station and the kids schools. However, parking is an issue, I have space for one car on my driveway but next door to me has four cars and due to parking restrictions, they regularly block the shared driveway with at least one car for an hour a day. Also the house is one room too small for us. Apart from that my landlord is fantastic and has let me decorate how I want, let me put pictures up etc. If I were to move, I would want more parking, one extra room and a slightly larger garden. Unfortunately that comes at a price and there is no guarantee that a landlord would accept me due to only working part time. 

I feel your pain completely!