Who should make first move?

asbokid

You could discreetly contact your daughter's GP. Just to them in the picture about her alcohol abuse. They will be able to offer help or guide her in the right direction for counselling or rehabilitation.

CH27

asbokid wrote: »

You could discreetly contact your daughter's GP. Just to them in the picture about her alcohol abuse. They will be able to offer help or guide her in the right direction for counselling or rehabilitation.

What :eek:

TeamLowe

I recently got married and a lot of people there were drunk. Including my aunties and uncles and cousins and in laws etc.
I wasn't offended and was happy they was having a good time. whilst the OP says her daughter 'didn't know what she was doing', that doesn't mean the daughter was being a horrible person and making everyone have a crap night. she was probably having a good time, just like everyone else. dancing like a fool may come under the definition of not know what you're doing. i can think of several guests at my wedding who would probably have never danced like that whilst sober! lol
Just talk to your daughter like nothing happened and find a way for you to get past it xx

Jinx

asbokid wrote: »

You could discreetly contact your daughter's GP. Just to them in the picture about her alcohol abuse. They will be able to offer help or guide her in the right direction for counselling or rehabilitation.

Okay we have gone from silly but understandable to ridiculous!!!:eek: Being inebriated at one wedding does not mean the woman has an alcohol dependency / abuse problem..... We are talking about a 30 year old woman who I can only presume is a normal, functioning member of society who just got a little carried away with the festivities.

At 30 I would not have been happy if my mum had given me a telling off re alcohol intake and if she contacted my GP I would have been livid.

the_cat

Old fashioned - err maybe. Although people from all ages have been known to be drunk!

Outrageouly interferring and totally in the wrong for chastising a fully grown 30 year old woman - definately

So yes, you should make the first move

shellsuit

You should make the first move seeing as it was you who had the problem with her drinking in the first place.

She's 30. She can drink if she wants to. She doesn't need a telling off from Mummy.

tanith

It always amazes me when people need to get drunk before they can 'enjoy' themselves... I think its out of order to get drunk at a family wedding and you were right to point that out to your daughter... but also you need to now let it go and behave normally with your daughter...

LMCD

am nearly 30 and I guess if my mother wanted to have a quiet chat regarding something she wasn't pleased with I would either agree or disagree but respect her enough listen to it and hope that she would listen to me too.

I guess we all make blips and theres never a right place to do it.

Just hope shes ok and that theres nothing bothering her that she got into such a state, perhaps she never ate properly or it just went to her head...such things happen.

sort it out though and just call her and apologise that you offended her but just say something like you don't want her to show herself up and like i said - hopefully she is alright.

pozalina

I agree with most pp's on here, in that I would focus on your DDs actual behaviour, not just the fact that she was drunk. If she was very rude, for example, I think it would be acceptable in your position as her mother to discreetly mention it. Sometimes when people have been very drunk they cannot remember what they have said/done so may not realise an apology is necessary. However, don't expect her to be grateful for your words. As the sister of someone with an ongoing drink problem, you may experience denial, defensiveness or hostility in response.

I am not suggesting that your DD has a drink problem at all - from your post we only know she was drunk on one occasion. If it is something she does regularly, you may face repeated incidents, when you have to decide how to respond. It sounds as though she was probably just letting her hair down, as many people do, so you wouldn't want to make too big a deal out of it, would you?

Gloomendoom

OP, you make the first move.

Life's too short to waste time on petty squabbles... especially where family are concerned.