Who should make first move?

Bambywamby

Yes she is your darling daughter - call her and make friends - life is too short to fall out over such trivial things. x x

podperson

I have to admit I don't see the big deal about being a bit drunk at a wedding - unless she was at the stage where she was falling over etc and upsetting the bride the groom, which I'm guessing you would have mentioned. I'm sure she wasn't the only person there who'd had a few and while you might not approve of her drinking at the end of the day she is a grown woman now and you're unlikely to agree with all of her decisions. Give her a ring, you don't need to lie about how you feel - just say that you don't want to fall out over something like that so can you just both forget about it.

sassyblue

Linley wrote: »

Hi I'm not sure what to do my DD is 30 we recently went to a family wedding and my DD got very drunk. I'm teetotal and whilst I don't mind others drinking I wasn't happy that she hardly knew what she was doing. The next day when I spoke to her expecting her to be a bit sheepish and embarrassed she said well it was a wedding people are supposed to enjoy themselves. I said that I wasn't
impressed with her behaviour and basically we've not spoken since. Should I ring and say I over reacted just to make the first move even though I don't think that at all!! Am I being old fashioned?

I'd ring her and she how she is, don't mention the 'words' you had over her behaviour at the wedding because life is too short and you've both said what you think.

TBH l'm shocked at all the 'butt out and leave her alone to enjoy herself posts' we have a culture of people drinking too much and it's not harmless, it can offend people and affect your health if you do it often enough. Not to mention how ridiculous they look when they have no control over themselves, it doesn't go unnoticed and probably had other guests shocked too. :cool:

You're not being old fashioned OP and neither am l you just have more dignity.

Flame away.... :rotfl:

giggletastic

To be completely honest, I think you owe her an apology, not the other way around.
You don't want to drink - fine. She does - fine. You don't have any right to judge (being someone's parent doesn't automatically mean they have to put up with your judgement), so apologise and move on.

kate1976

As a 34 year old woman who has been seen drunk a few times by her parents I think I have to say you need to just get in touch with her and not fall out over what is actually a petty thing!

My parents wouldn't dream about falling out with me just because I'd had a bit too much to drink, life is too short, if she has an alcohol problem and not just one night drunk then I could maybe understand but from what I see you've made a mountain out of a molehill.

Now go talk to your daughter!

Tygermoth

I can relate but from the other way round.

My Other Half's parents popped in to see us and invite us over for dinner 'do', they then realised my parents were visiting and extended the invitation to include them which was really sweet.

On arriving at the in-laws had obviously made a lot of effort with the house and meal. There were three other couples in attendance (none we had met before)

Cue my mum getting absolutely, totally and unbelievingly drunk.

Before anyone jumps in with, nerves? or shyness?… err no. My mum just is the worst 'crash and burn' drinker in the world and when she has had a drink she cant be told.

I was utterly, toe curlingly embarrassed as everyone else was sober and she was roaringly drunk. knocking over glasses, dropping food.. calling people by the wrong names…. deciding to throw out the subject of us being childfree as 'freaks' and 'selfish' as a discussion point…throwing a tantrum when one of the guests snubbed her when she was talking to him…. (she was not making much sense by this point) trying to start a food fight.

My in-laws were horrified but to polite to say a word.

She refuses to talk about the night (She was just tipsy and I am to over sensative) and to be honest, though I still talk to her but I am still hurt and upset with her and I dont think I will forgive her. (I feel it shows a lack of respect for my In-laws, Their guests, herself and her own family)

P.s I will never invite her anywhere again lol

skintchick

Tygermoth. I feel for you, but I am glad my family have been more forgiving of me. I had a dreadful drink problem in my teens/20s and it was only meeting my now-husband that stopped it continuing. I've had counselling etc. but nothing helped. It's because of issues from childhood that I won;t go into here, but sometimes someone who gets absolutely out-of-control drunk is trying desperately to make themselves feel better, and it doesn;t work. Please don;t lose your mum over this, she clearly needs you. I don;t think anyone gets that out of control when drunk unless they have issues they're not dealing with. Just my personal opinion.

Tygermoth

Aww Skintchick,

Bless you for replying. (sorry OP for taking over your thread)

My Mother is borderline narsistic with alcohol dependacy issues who is unfulfilled, bored and selfish.

She wont be helped because she does not have a problem… we do.

I love her, shes my Mum… but shes broken and noone can help her untill she helps herself or recogises she has issues.

As I get older I just refuse to put up with it and slowly over time I have whittled down contact to the bare minimum to save my sanity.

j.e.j.

Hmm, I can see it if she was out with a group of mates, but I think a family wedding which you attend with your mother isn't really the best time to get paralytic??

Anyway, I'd say OP don't apologise or pretend it doesn't matter. Just don't mention it again. It'll blow over, - these things usually do..

flimsier

Linley wrote: »

Hi I'm not sure what to do my DD is 30 we recently went to a family wedding and my DD got very drunk. I'm teetotal and whilst I don't mind others drinking I wasn't happy that she hardly knew what she was doing. The next day when I spoke to her expecting her to be a bit sheepish and embarrassed she said well it was a wedding people are supposed to enjoy themselves. I said that I wasn't
impressed with her behaviour and basically we've not spoken since. Should I ring and say I over reacted just to make the first move even though I don't think that at all!! Am I being old fashioned?

You're being an idiot.