Life is what you make it .......

startagain_2

Hi Wordsmith,

Thanks for that..... it all sounds so petty but it is/was like a Chinese Water Torture.... drip,drip,drip until I end up screaming for mercy! I really don't think people realise the effect that words and actions can sometimes have.

It is all just silly things really -

I am not sure that I want, or can, take up the Chair postion at the HA. I am just so tired at the end of the day and live so far away (nearly 40 miles) that I wont be able to do it justice. I am going to have to decide and tell them soon, I am supposed to take over at the end of October.

I cannot get on with my new glasses. I have had them for a week now and I really don't think I need varifocals. I was a bit upset at the time as I thought I would be paying about £70 - £80 and get a BOGOF pair but instead ended up paying £160 for one pair and the strength doesn't seem right (too strong). I think I am going to have to go back and ask for them to be changed.

I just feel a bit alone at the moment, not lonely, just alone..... a feeling of swimming upstream against the tide and it is all a bit of an effort. It will improve, I know. By the time I get home from work and give MrT his long walk, have something to eat, sit down - I am asleep! Then I feel guilty about the dog having a carp life - Yes, I know he hasn't but it feels like I should be with him more. He is fine, by the way.

God, don't I sound like a whinger?

SA

Horace

You are not a whinger SA. You are stressed after your first week in a new job having to learn people's names, deal with a trainer who can't train properly (who is a petty cow if you ask me) and having to learn new procedures.

I am always asked for my name as it appears on the card, that is nothing unusual and if I am sending chocs, flowers or whatever then I am always asked if it is a special occasion so that the appropriate card can be included. How embarrassing would it be if chocolates and champagne turned up for a birthday party and the card read sorry to hear of your loss?:eek:

Hope you enjoy your weekend.

Wordsmith

startagain wrote: »

God, don't I sound like a whinger?SA

That would be a No. (I'm not presuming to answer for God, by the way, but I'm sure He would agree with me.)

Don't rush the decision on the HA. I think it would be right up your street and that you would be very good at it. It would boost your confidence after the shenanigans at a certain chocolate company. It would no doubt be tough - lots of other people's arguments to sort out - but tough in a bring-it-on sort of way. I understand what you are saying about being tired, but this may just be reaction to a carp first week, after a carp few months, at work. Once you get into the swing of it, you may be able to ride with it more. Can you leave it another week and weekend before you have to tell them?

Some people can't get on with varifocals. If you can't, I think your optician said they can be changed at no cost? Give them a few more days and then do that if things aren't better. Struggling with these could be making you feel extra tired, too,

I understand the feeling of aloneness, and I understand it is very different from feeling lonely. I can't magic an answer, though. I wish I could. Keep busy is the lousy best I can come up with. Maybe look for a social outlet? Could the HA fulfil this role?

MrT loves you - asleep or not, you are still there, smelling of you.

Can you relax this weekend?

startagain_2

T'is true, MrT just snuggles up with me. He is toddling around this morning "helping" with the housework and other errands.

Glasses - I will give it until next Saturday. Call me a cynic but because it was S***savers I am concerned that it was more of a sales ploy rather than neccessity. The frames (designer) with single lenses were £125 and would qualify for BOGOF - so that would be a £35 refund and another pair as well, by my reckoning. I am wearing them now and the lens at the top of them is OK but I can't see a thing looking through the stronger part. But.... I will persevere.

HA - I have a meeting in the first week of October with the CEO and his PA to discuss everything. It was originally going to be about "moving forward" but now I think it will be about if it is going to get off the starting blocks! I had a bad meeting there 10 days ago and the deposed Chair actually walked out of the room saying that he couldn't be in the same room as me! He thought he would be in for another year and that no-one would stand against him. I was encouraged and pushed into standing and now the very same people who were part of that have decided to sympathise with him. There are lots of whispers in corridors. Now I sound paranoid!

All this change - I know it will fall into place and I will be able to get on with everyone and everything (well, I hope) but it is so uphill at the moment.

SA

Wordsmith

Hmm, that doesn't sound good, re the HA. I can understand your reticence. I still think you will do a great job if you take it on, but it does sound like it will be a battle. Is the current chair still going to be involved? If he is sulking, he could try to oppose you every step of the way. Have you spoken to any of the people who encouraged you, to see if they are still supportive of you, even though they are currently taking the easy route of pandering to the child-chair? Why are people so fickle?

Chin up, lovely. We still think you are just GREAT.

RosaBernicia

Wordsmith wrote: »

Chin up, lovely. We still think you are just GREAT.

:T

Your trainer sounds odd to me too. If I was ordering I think I'd rather deal with you! I suspect 'queen of the filing cabinet syndrome' (term courtesy of a less-than-PC negotiation skills trainer, who used it to refer to people who are insecure about their value and overcomplicate or defend their particular role to try and maintain their self-esteem). But if you're flying solo now hopefully that's the end of the issue and now you can get on with showing how competent you are - since as you DO know what you're doing, she'll have no excuse to bother you again!

The mimicking is certainly childish (pathetic, actually) and unprofessional. I think you may be right about your manager not wanting to get drawn into things - she may well already know about the problem but be unwilling to take it further, especially if this trainer only really gets to cause a bit of hazing in the first couple of days. Fingers crossed, hopefully now you can get into the swing of it and relax.

You're certainly not a whinger, and I also think I understand what you mean about feeling alone - when things are going uphill all the little stuff that normally represents independence can feel like an endless drag. My suggestion would be the opposite of Wordsmith's though - I'd say drop stuff you don't really have to do urgently, so you have a bit of breathing space, phone a friend to book something fun and stay on the phone to gossip while you run yourself a bubble bath. (See also various cliches about important vs urgent, looking after the goose not the golden egg, etc.)

Re. the HA, you could just wait for the meeting to see how you feel and then you'll have had another week to settle into the job. And if you're not happy with your glasses, do have a chat with the optician - better to say now than find you're really unhappy with them when it's too late to go back. (The chain you have mentioned were really good at the branch I used to go to, far better than the other two chains in the area despite being a much smaller branch, and I think they were much more careful about what they recommended to customers exactly because they knew that many had a limited budget. Probably depends on each branch though as I think they are a franchise.)

Hope you are having a lovely weekend

Rosa xx

chevalier

Hi Start Again. Keep a diary of what she says date and time etc. But after a while I would just tell it like it is and say in a big loud voice. Thanks but I don't appreciate being spoken to like that, please be more polite in future.
chev

startagain_2

Hi everyone,

Thanks for your advice and sympathies. I have had a quiet weekend doing household chores, dog walking and generally chilling out.

I am going to "wait and see" on everything - I have got a breathing space which gives me time to reflect and make decisions.

Glasses - I said I would give it 2 weeks, that takes me to this Saturday.

HA- Meeting is next week. I think they were intending that the outgoing chair would still be able to carry out some stuff bearing in mind that I am so far away and working. He is retired and local so will find it much easier. Taking his attitude into consideration I am leaning towards why should I bother - it is going to be 12 months of hell - I know that, and do I need it? Nope.

Work - I am just going to keep my head down and get on with it. I am sure that with time it will be easier and I will fit into the team, no bother.

The old postive SA will be back soon, I am sure.

Hugs

SA

savingwannabe

Hello petal. Gosh things are sounding a lot better.

You have realised eejitboss is just a miserable git and can't train for toffee and attack is the only form of defence and ego with this sort of a person it seems.

HA job sounds political and quite frankly you might be better off going for chilled out walks with Mr T, joining a nice group of walkers to make nice friends or something a bit more relaxing. I used to do lots of voluntary work and my doctor went mad saying I needed 'me' time. I think you do too.

Work will be a challenge for a bit till eejitboss sorts their hisseyfitting out and you need your strength for that.

Focus on planning a fantastic holiday and things like the decorating. Make your life as fun as possible. You deserve to enjoy yourself. Think of all the money you will be saving on petrol, journey time, extra time you can spend at home doing nice things. Please try to do one fun thing everyday. I am going to do this also. We must have fun.

I have just returned from a superb MSE thread meet (only 4 of us) but it was fab and i feel so much better for it.

You are happy despite all this guano at work you are still strong and will make the most of everyday despite silly boss. Stay happy petal. It is always the best revenge and such fun too. I am counting down the days till pay day. Now what colour is the bedroom going to be?

startagain_2

Morning folks,

Work was much,much better yesterday. I was on my own and did just fine. Thinking back, bossy trainer person was taken into the Managers office mid week and since then things have improved. I am wondering if she was told to lay off? This would explain her frosty manner for the rest of the week - she has thawed out a bit now and I think it is going to work out. Fingers crossed. It has quiet spells and it seems normal practice to surf the net. There is only so much I can look at in a day and I am thinking about buying a Kindle, then I can read at work. I had been umming and aahing for a while, may seriously consider it now. I get a little pension payout each year for my birthday - it could be my present to myself.

Glasses - the weaker part of the lens seems fine now that I have got used to them a bit more, but the stronger "computer strength" is way too much. Everything is blurred. I think I will take them back on Saturday and ask for single lenses in the weaker strength. It seems silly to wear glasses and only be able to use half of the lens - especially at that price!

HA - you are right sw - it does seem political and that is because it is The campaign to have me elected was (I think) a campaign against current Chair rather than to support me. I think I may have been elected just to be a puppet for the stronger wills and views of some of the other members. I just don't think that I have the time or inclination to do the (unpaid) position justice. It is different if you have the time, retired or out of work, but for someone in full time work it seems a bit too much. I think my mind is almost made up.

Painterman is on the road to recovery and is thinking about doing the bedroom next week. I had better get some paint bought! I was going to replace the carpet as well but it does seem an extravagance too far - it was only put down 2 years ago and has had relatively little wear, just me and small dog. Perhaps in a year or two? I am thinking of a boldish colour - something in the orangey, browney, dark yellow spectrum. Sounds :eek: but it will look better on the walls, I promise....

I am going to change my lounge around this weekend. I am sure the TV will look better in another spot. Unfortunately, when the Sky engineer put the box in, he didn't leave enough cable to move it. Now I have found out how to do it and sent off for an extension kit. Can't wait to start rearranging - a change is as good as a rest. I have a lovely oak bookcase that is always behind me with the current layout - if I change things around it can be in front of me and I can enjoy it more. I also have a lovely indoor slate fountain on it that I can watch. The sound of the trickling water is so relaxing.

Did anyone else use the £10 discount voucher for Morrisons at the weekend? It was in the Sunday Mirror. Spend £60 and get £10 off. I was going shopping anyway so I spent more than usual and stocked right up on all the essentials. The bill came to £60.14 - how is that for doing the maths? Unsurprisingly, the voucher wouldn't work as the cashiers hadn't been briefed on how to redeem it (90 mins after the store had opened) so I had to wait 10 minutes at the checkout for the admin details to be passed down. I ignored the impatient people in the queue behind me - a tenner is worth the wait, the freezer is stocked to bursting and enough dog food to keep him happy for a good while.

So, things are looking a good deal better than they were 7 days ago. I feel much calmer and positive. I have stopped claiming HB and am waiting to hear from WTC. Once that is sorted, my finances will be more stable than they have been in yonks. It will be nice to be able to plan properly and not have endless ups and downs with my income. I like security and not the unknown.

That just about brings you right up to date. I hope everyone is well and set to enjoy this weeks warm weather.

Hugs

SA