Life is what you make it .......

Horace

Sorry to hear that things are not going so well. I too agree, don't tell the others in the office because they will tittle tattle.

Maybe this new person and your old manager are bosom buddies? Perhaps you should start asking more questions even though you know what you are doing thus it will head off the trainer before she gets going because then you are only following her instructions and she cannot then shout at you for doing something wrong when you have done as she has asked. Keep a little notebook too so you can write things down (I know this sounds basic but it helps and demonstrates a willingness to learn), I kept copious notes when I started in new jobs funny though I never referred to those notes again but it kept people off my back.

When my boss was giving me hell (he was an incompetent buffoon) and he gave me instructions, what I started doing was emailing him to ensure that I had heard correctly and quoting back to him what he had said to me and if he could confirm that was what he had asked (he had the habit of asking me to do something which I did and then saying that he hadnt asked me to do that thing at all).

Keep your chin up - remember you have friends who care:D

satchmo1

SA, Horace gives good advice about writing things down, and I wish I'd thought to do a verifying email to my former bullying boss who's demands constantly morphed.

Maybe add another level to the note-taking practice and say to the trainer - "I'll just keep a note of what you have just said so that I can refer to it if I need to". That may be enough for them to back off with the bullying?

Hugs, Satchmo x

Memory_Girl

I'd double up on the "note-taking" BTW - and start keeping a log of every incident of bullying as and when it happens.

Happened to me once (thankfully just the once) and I had a notebook in my bag that I would keep with me the whole time (and often updated in the loo if people were watching) I used to include the names of people who witnessed the events too for future reference.

When said "jealous beeatch" made a move to get rid of me - I wallpapered everyone higher up in the organisation with photocopies of the pages and pages of contemporaneous notes ..................... and gently suggested that some "retraining of the trainers" might be in order.

Well they "retrained" her and her two cronies right out of the door - and the team started working like a dream once we had "unravelled"some crappy systems. I think because it became too embarrassing to turn a blind eye and ear to her goings on when we had the "Emperors New Clothes" Moment.

Keep your chin up hon

MG

RosaBernicia

Oh c**p, am so sorry SA. But you have proved your worth in the last situation and I'm sure you will do again.

I wouldn't challenge her at this point, they don't know you yet and you haven't yet proved that you can do the job blindfold, so there is a risk of it reflecting badly on you. Stick it out and rise above it for a bit. I agree with confirming everything with supervisor, as you have said she is good at her job hopefully at least her instructions are correct - even if her manner of delivering them is inappropriate. Focus on getting the job done and ignore the office politics as much as you can. I do agree about taking notes, but don't let the rest of the office see that's what you're doing - it will only put them on edge with you and make matters more difficult.

It's possible that your trainer's issues don't actually have anything to do with you and exist because of history in the office or with the work, so I would try not to make assumptions until you have been there long enough to pick up the grapevine and see the context. She might also adjust once she gets to know you and sees your work. Teams don't always start off on the right foot but it might not be a disaster.

One thing I would do for peace of mind is check the details of your probation period, appraisal policy, etc. Just so you know how long you need to get through and when you could perhaps risk raising issues. Hopefully you will have no need to worry about them.

(hug) and it's the weekend soon

Rosa xx

beanielou

Positive vibes your way and hope that things resolve themselves soon.

Wordsmith

Still thinking of you, SA. Get through today and then you'll have a whole two days to unwind and regroup and can go back in fighting (strong, not aggressive!) spirit on Monday. It'll settle down. It will.

savingwannabe

Petal you haven't posted. You know we all care and love you very much. You have to live with these idiots if you want to fight it we will support you all the way. If you think life is too short and walk we will understand. We have all been there and done both!

Remember we all care about you and talking is good. Do not cut yourself off. Remember all the times I gave up and you were all there for me? I came back because of the many kind people of MSE. Remember we are a family ok. Nothing is so big it can't be overcome.

I am visiting Steve, Andy, Susan (3dogs) and her husband from 3dogs' thread. Back late on Sunday. I will check for your postings. Please please communicate so we know you are ok.

You are stronger than this and we love you whatever you decide. Remember how much we all care and use us. We are your friends and will help in anyway possible. Am so bloody angry i am more than happy to bash'em up. :mad:

I hope you spend a nice weekend with Mr T and can try to relax for a bit. love and hugs, kitXXXXX:kisses3::kisses3::kisses3:

Horace

When I meant notes, I meant notes on how to do things so that I could refer to it later. I actually found my little notebook from the time when I started in Cleaning Services at the Uni back in 1998 just this week.

Also confirming with her what she wants you to do is a good idea but I wasnt necessarily thinking of doing that from a bullying point of view.

Hope you have a wicked weekend with MrT:beer:

startagain_2

RosaBernicia wrote: »

I wouldn't challenge her at this point, they don't know you yet and you haven't yet proved that you can do the job blindfold, so there is a risk of it reflecting badly on you. Stick it out and rise above it for a bit. I agree with confirming everything with supervisor, as you have said she is good at her job hopefully at least her instructions are correct - even if her manner of delivering them is inappropriate. Focus on getting the job done and ignore the office politics as much as you can. I do agree about taking notes, but don't let the rest of the office see that's what you're doing - it will only put them on edge with you and make matters more difficult.

Rosa xx

Spot on Rosa, as usual.


Hi Guys,

Well, I survived the first week!

Rosa has summed it up beautifully - the woman knows the job back to front but has a lot to learn in how to train and impart that knowledge. It wasn't so much bullying but more the manner she adopted. I will try and explain.

Simple things like taking a card payment -
1)Don't ask their name again - you have already taken that down in the delivery details" Whaaaat? - How many of us purchase goods over the phone and aren't asked "Your name as it appears on your card?"

2) Don't ask if their gift is for a special occasion to determine what sort of card to send out - that could be construed as prying (apparently) by the customer!

3) Don't spend any time explaining that we cannot guarantee a delivery date with Royal Mail - it is First Class - end of....

and so on, and so on, and so on........ just picky, petty things that were said for the sake of it....

and this went on for two days, solid. Every time I did anything it was wrong and by the end of the day I was an absolute nervous wreck. We were using training headphones and she was interjecting all the time making it that I couldn't hear what the customer was saying. When I then had to ask the customers to repeat themselves, she would fold her arms and sigh. The body language was just dreadful.

At one point I had to ask her to take over a call as I just broke down and had to go to the loo to compose myself. When you KNOW that you are good, it is a real soul destroyer to be treated to that sort of behaviour. I have spent many, many years on the telephone with customers and I don't know if it is that that rankles with her, but something certainly does. I know how to spell surnames, my UK geography, company names etc - I think that may have got on her nerves. She would rather I was an eejjit. She kept making nasty little comments and facial expressions. At one point she did a pretend phone call with another of the girls in the office, mimicking a call of mine. I smiled, but it hurt.

Anyway..... the week improved slightly and by yesterday I was flying solo and working on my own. She has gone back to her desk and I just have to signal for help from one of the others if I need it. Lovely manager took me for a tour of the offices and introductions but I got the impression that she doesn't want to get drawn into the training sagas in the office. My take on it is that she values the woman and just wants us to get through my training and we can all move on.

So... my head is firmly down, I speak when I am spoken to and try and just blend into the background. The Alpha female part of me can come out later on (when the time is right).

I feel exhausted - I had hoped the change from the other office would immediately feel a lot better and whilst it is certainly going to be better, it is a slow start. I am optimistic though, expecially because of the other plusses - so close to home and full time hours.

It seems that every area of my life is problematic at the moment - I just need to get through this and will be on an upward curve again.

Thank you for all your messages, posts and support. I appreciate it all so much. Life is never easy, is it?

Hugs

SA

Wordsmith

I can just imagine how all that felt. Of course you should ask the name on the card - it isn't necessarily going to be the same as the one on the order. And the other things - those are the sorts of things that the customer wants to hear. You do sound more positive, though. How long does the "training" last? And how are you getting on with the other people in the office? Do they look embarrassed at this woman's antics? As for mimicking a call of yours, how very, very unprofessional and childish.

What else is problematic? Can we help?

Chill out this weekend.