Funny cat stories!

Moomin21

Nothing cheers me up more than a funny cat story...please share yours here and give everyone a chuckle!

spike7451

The are too many to mention.
On taking Orbit to the vets,I stopped off in the seaside car park & let him out of the carrier,he sat on my lap for a good hour or so,looking out at the sea & all the goings on.




He also liked to snuggle under the quilt & I'd often wake up with him asleep against my back...


As well as the odd pint or so...



This is the final photo I have of Orbit,after his dramatic weight loss from the tablets.
RIP Mate.I miss you so much.

jazzyman01

I have two dogs. White cat appears in the garden and saunters up to the back patio doors. German shepherd goes nuts, barking, bouncing around scratching at the window. Cat sits down, and starts to wash itself - GS getting more wound up. All of a sudden the cat leaps about 7 foot in the air turning around at the same time and takes off at about 90 miles an hour. Moral of the story? When winding up a dog at a patio, ensure that there is not a second dog appearing out of the conservatory french windows.....

Kinski

My oh was a police officer ( now retired ), when he finished night shift he would call me to say he was home ( the stupid things you do when your first in love :rotfl: ), our cat used to run up his uniform and sit on his shoulder when he was talking to me, he called me one morning to say he was home and all I could hear was, ow arghhhhhhhh eek ouch and a few ******, turned out he had forgotten to call me and had stripped to his knickers, pity the cat never realised his uniform wasn't on , oh was covered in small puncture wounds where the cat had run up his leg, his bum, his back and his shoulder.
Different cat. I don't drive so oh had to take the cats to the vets to be spayed/neutered, he did this with one cat then brought him home and all was fine. A few hours later oh is sitting with his shoes of, the cat walked over to his shoes stood over one of them and pee'd in it, oh was not impressed but I was .

mancbird

I have 2 cats and they are both completely bonkers

I remember one Sunday morning letting them both out and going back to bed. A short while later one of them came back and was miowing at the bottom of the stairs. Thinking she was just wondering where I was I shouted down to say I was upstairs but she carried on making a right racket. When I got up and went downstairs, she was sitting on the mat with a (obviously long dead) bird that was as big as she was. She was as proud as punch that she had brought this bird back and was trying to pass it off as something she had caught! Silly cat didn't realise it was as stiff as a board

This is the same cat who comes up to bed with us every night and climbs into bed for a fuss and woe betide you if you don't fuss her!

fran2491

mancbird wrote: »

I have 2 cats and they are both completely bonkers

I remember one Sunday morning letting them both out and going back to bed. A short while later one of them came back and was miowing at the bottom of the stairs. Thinking she was just wondering where I was I shouted down to say I was upstairs but she carried on making a right racket. When I got up and went downstairs, she was sitting on the mat with a (obviously long dead) bird that was as big as she was. She was as proud as punch that she had brought this bird back and was trying to pass it off as something she had caught! Silly cat didn't realise it was as stiff as a board

This is the same cat who comes up to bed with us every night and climbs into bed for a fuss and woe betide you if you don't fuss her!

lol you never know she might of caught it my girl once came back with a crow! a large adult one aswell she must of broke her back bringing it back hehe! was stood howling at the cat flap coz she couldnt get it in
this is the same cat that is scared of my reptiles :rotfl: her nemesis is a adult water dragon and if she sees hes out she wont come in the house:o

bluebeary

my male cat is small for his two and half years but when he goes outside he takes charge of all the neighbouring larger female cats, leading them around the back gardens, my neighbour couldnt believe it when he was watching him one time out the window, we call the female cats his harim

i usually get up at six oclock to go to work and i let my cat outside to go do his rounds, if its raining hell wait till exactly twenty past six instead, hes in at round about 7 am for something to eat then back out again, he knows i leave for work at eight on the dot and regular as clockwork he comes in again, how does he know what the time is ?

hes very vocal cat and i swear he understands alot of what i say to him, hes way clever

spike7451

bluebeary wrote: »

my male cat is small for his two and half years but when he goes outside he takes charge of all the neighbouring larger female cats, leading them around the back gardens, my neighbour couldnt believe it when he was watching him one time out the window, we call the female cats his harim

i usually get up at six oclock to go to work and i let my cat outside to go do his rounds, if its raining hell wait till exactly twenty past six instead, hes in at round about 7 am for something to eat then back out again, he knows i leave for work at eight on the dot and regular as clockwork he comes in again, how does he know what the time is ?

hes very vocal cat and i swear he understands alot of what i say to him, hes way clever

I know! I swear Daisy can understand me! She certainly knows where her food is kept in the kitchen!

StaffieTerrier

Our male cat learnt how to open the kitchen cupboard to get to his dried food. We'd come home to packets with holes chewed through them, so we bought a plastic cereal container to keep the food in. This didn't deter him in anyway and he learnt how to remove the top completely of the container. We bought a child-lock to put on the cupboard but before we could fit it he decided to play with it as a toy and it got lost somewhere in the flat, never to reappear. Finally decided to keep the food in the plastic container on a high shelf. We still don't know how he managed it but he learnt how to scale the wall to get to the shelf :rotfl:

We moved a couple of months ago and he hasn't yet worked out how to open the new cupboards, but I have a feeling it won't be too long before I come home to piles of dried food on the floor once more

meritaten

I dont know where to start (or stop!) about my sons cat Felix (please bear with me some of you who have heard these stories before on Felixs' RIP thread.

A huge totally gorgeous, black and white Turkish Van Felix could often be spotted swimming laps in the neighbours fish pond! never bothered the fish, but he did like a nice swim.
He was so fond of water my son couldnt have a bath without him (locking the bathroom door didnt work as he seemed to know how to jiggle the handle to pop the lock). he would jump up to the end my sons head was at then delicately walk down his chest, dip his paw in the water (checking the temp?) then if satisfied would walk on and sit down. at this time he could be shampooed, conditioned and rinsed off (but dont try it if no-one was in the bath with him - he got vicious!).
He could hear a packet of Pork Scratchings being opened from upstairs - then it was thunk thunk thunk down the stairs run straight at the person with the packet, knock it out of their hand onto the floor, snatch it up and abscond upstairs with it! from which loud crunching could then be heard!
when he was living with me - he loved to chase imaginary butterflies and mice all over the landing - at 2.00AM! this was followed by his sprint and barge into sons room and his hitting the wall with a loud thud! THEN we were allowed to sleep!
I saw him a couple of times running hell for leather down the back lane and then on the corner using some overlapping wooden fencing as a 'wall of death' - he must have been three feet up it and his speed was phenomenal!
he also had issues with one of my rugs! he would walk past it then turn and hiss.......walk on into the dining room and hide round the corner.......a few minutes later would commando crawl out and as near the rug as he thought he could get without being spotted. then he would leap and howl and give that nasty rug a good going over! kicking and scratching while growling like a rottwieler! after a few minutes he would decide that he had either killed it or punished it enough and walk away looking very pleased with himself! while we were all stifling laughter!
his first love was my son - he would let himself be cuddled like a baby - anyone else try it and you got a clout round the ear! and he was a big heavy cat, it hurt!
but if son wasnt available he would consent to grace your lap with his prescence!
I still miss him tbh - a truly oneofakind cat!

kelbag_2

I had two crazy cats.

Skits was a one of a kind cat, we got him from a pet shop around the time they were made to stop selling kittens and he was around 4 to 5 weeks old, flea infested and had the runs from day one poor thing.

He named himself on the day I brought him home as the first thing he did on being let out of the cat carrier was run straight into the wall, not once but 3 times. We reckoned he was a bit mental, my eldest dd said mum that cat is skits.

He really didn't like my ex, at bedtime i'd go to bed first and Skits would happily make himself a nest of of my hair and curl up until ex came upstairs.

Once he got in bed, Skiits would creep down the inside of the duvet, curl up in the small of my back and exercise his claws on the ex's back. Shouldn't laugh but......

His playmate Rigo was a beautiful silver tabby and she was very quiet.

We had a cat flap which allowed only cats with the right tag on as we got a lot of cats trying it on, and it worked really really well except for the day Rigo decided to 'treat' us.
I heard a noise at the back door, which sounded like thump, squawk, thump, squawk so looked through the cat flap. Rigo had a HUGE magpie by the wing and was desperately trying to get this bird through the flap (still alive) but finding that she couldn't get her tag close enough to activate it to open.
I was rolling about on the floor laughing at my gorgeous sweet quiet girl trying to bring mummy a present so didn't get her to release the bird as fast as I should have.

I did give her a treat for hunting so well though, i'm just glad she never brought home dead mice.