Upset after hen night

White_Sapphire

Well done deef! If you are concerned about what reply they might send would it perhaps be a good idea to not instantly open any emails you get back from them, and instead ask a friend to read them first? If they say anything that might upset you (and they sound like very spiteful people to me) then it can just be deleted and you won't have to be upset by them again. If the message is more neutral or even apologetic (unlikely, but you never know) then you could read it after.

Ignore this if you're now at the stage where you've emotionally detached yourself from them, it's just that I know that a nasty email back would upset me if I were in the same situation.

It must be a weight off your mind to not have to worry about what they will think, what comments they will make, who they will offend etc anymore....

x

trekgirl

When I started reading your post I was like ' hang on a minute, when did I write this???'

I have a group of friends from when I lived abroad for a while who are living some way away. They were always academically gifted and are now big city people. I however, got knocked up a couple of years after my degree and the guy turned out to be a wrong 'un. they were nowhere to be seen. I had tried a few times to 'reach out' but they have snubbed it and I have come to accept that those friendships have run their course, even though we were very close at one point and it hurts.

My fiance is my closest friend and I really actually do not have any girls who are organising a hen night or anything for me. Just focus on the friendships you have now and ignore these two. I thought about writing some sort of letter too but my df advised me to 'just let it go'. I had not invited them to the wedding though, so I think you are doing the right thing to uninvite them.

Hugs

Starrystarrynight

Well done, deef, for taking some very difficult steps.
True friends, who really know you and care about you, would want you to feel comfortable and enjoy your hen night, and would do their utmost to make that happen. These 3 really don't sound like the kind of people who are good to have around. They clearly have no qualms about hurting your feelings, so please don't worry about uninviting them.
Have a fabulous, relaxing and enjoyable day :-)

LEJC

I was going to say that maybe there was a bit of an over reaction on your part and that people change and friendships mature or move on and you have to accept that...but no...a true friend or a true set of friends wouldnt do or behave like that....these girls were very rude and insensitive of your feelings and the type of things you wanted for your special night....
do I think youve lost 3 friends yes...but should you be sorry and fret about the loss of their friendship...absolutley not...they arn't worthy of being your friends....have a wonderful wedding and forget them....

White_Sapphire

Another thought for you deef - how about having a girlie night in with dvds, wine and pampering? It could be a 2nd hen night and celebration of your true friends party, and you could ask people to bring their favourite film, a bottle of wine, and/or some pampering goodies. If you had it at your house (or whoever's place is bigger/most convenient for people to get to) and everyone contributed a little you could probably do it on a budget of about £10 each.

It would be like drawing a line and starting afresh with just the people you know are your true friends.

x

jenhug

well as you have broached the subject before, then yes it was the right thing to do. xx

donnap83

Well done! I think you did the only thing you could do, cut them out of your life. They have no right to behave the way they have done. xx

Stephb1986_2

Well done, I hope they feel bad about how they've treated you

Steph xx

Toothfairy4

I hope your so-called friends feel bad about what they've done, however from personal experience these people often don't have a conscience. I was in a similar situation a few months ago and your post reminded me of the thread I posted about it here(have just updated it for anyone who was following). I feel a million times better since cutting contact with this girl, and you will two so chin up hun and don't let them ruin anything!

katerinasol

Hi, I think you have absolutely done the right thing. This isn't friendship, I would be mortified if my friends treated me like that, and I wouldn't dream of doing that to someone. Everyone is different, and just because you don't like going out and getting wasted with rugby players doesn't make you a worse person. If they can't accept that, then it's their fault and there's no reason you should put up with it. Life's too short to waste it on people like that. Hope everything works out, keep us updated on any responses x