how did anyone give my wife £20k worth of credit on a card when she was unemployed

tenmah

delain wrote: »

She likes to flame everyone for everything Don't let it worry you

I know she does, that was why I asked her if she had ever been in debt. She has a holier than thou attitude!

Gingernutty wrote: »

tenmah - dmg24 isn't 'flaming' the OP, he's/she's asking questions that the OP really should be asking his wife.

There's no point asking such questions, here, on this forum, of a bunch of strangers.

The OP is clearly dealing with the debt, but some hard questions still need answering in that household..............

Umm, think you will find that is the whole point of this forum

tenmah

noh wrote: »

No one has been flamed.
This is not a debt forum. It is a forum for discussion of the practicalities of using/maintaining credit card accounts.

dmg24 asked a straightforward question. What information did the OPs wife give on the original application form?

You are right, it is just the way she asks. She can give good advice but there is no need to be so blunt. People come on this forum to begin with because they are worried, scared and need help.

DMG - i do take responsibility for my spending, that is why I came on here and got myself straight (almost) but that doesn't mean that I am then scornful of others who are at the beginning of their journey and ask for advice. I am not just referring to this post, but nearly all of your posts seem to be putting people down in some way.

Just my opinion, and the opinion of many others that I have seen reply to you.

viktory

tenmah wrote: »

You are right, it is just the way she asks. She can give good advice but there is no need to be so blunt.

I like her forthright attitude - clearly you don't and therein lies the vagaries of human behaviour. The fact that you dislike her bluntness does not make it, or her, wrong.

gordikin

viktory wrote: »

I like her forthright attitude - clearly you don't and therein lies the vagaries of human behaviour. The fact that you dislike her bluntness does not make it, or her, wrong.

Here, Here! me too, she asks pertinent questions, gets to the point and is an asset to MSE.

If I had a problem and started a thread about it, I'd rather people said what they feel (without being abusive) and therefore get a wide range of points of view. I may not agree with all views but accept that's what happens when you post on furums.

I'd rather see dmg's to the point posts than the sugary 'hugs' and the 'I couldn't read and run' (which then go on to run to 12 + paragraphs!) posts.

Devils-Advocate_3

samba wrote: »

Oh but you did, or don't you remember your wedding vows?!

Why is it people seem to think that they can get married but still live like single people? Perhaps if the OP had been more generous with his income and shared it with his wife unconditionally, she would not have resorted to taking out credit cards behind his back and he would have been aware of her overspending a long time before it became a problem...

This is a rather rude, presumptious, and unhelpful post isn't it.

What the heck do you know about their finances?

gordikin

dmg24 wrote: »

Why did she apply for credit if she knew she could not afford it?

Was she declaring that she had no income, or was she entering the household income?

Brief and to the point in my view.

Devils-Advocate_3

gordikin wrote: »

Brief and to the point in my view.

In my newbie and therefore rubbish opinion, perhaps no need for the first line, i.e why did she apply for credit if she knew....

I think that's an irrelevant question really, as it doesn't answer or come anywhere near to answering what the OP's question was.

Nothing wrong with coming straight out and asking a blunt/direct question about the income thing though as that DOES at least bear resemblence to the question put forth by the OP.

However, everyone has different posting styles, so meh.

pvt

viktory wrote: »

I like her forthright attitude - clearly you don't and therein lies the vagaries of human behaviour. The fact that you dislike her bluntness does not make it, or her, wrong.

I agree too. The first step to resolving a debt problem is to understand it is your problem, not someone elses. A bit of blunt observation helps with that.

gordikin

Devils-Advocate wrote: »

This is a rather rude, presumptious, and unhelpful post isn't it.

What the heck do you know about their finances?

All we know is they have 20 years of debt in front of them.

Devils-Advocate_3

gordikin wrote: »

All we know is they have 20 years of debt in front of them.

Looks like it! I just disagreed with the comment randomly accusing the OP of not sharing his income with his wife....I mean, how rude and utterly irrelevant! :mad: