Advice needed on Girlfriend - Please read...

debtfreehopeful_2

funky-footprints wrote:

the things that comes across as suspicious to me is why would she delete messages from her outbox ? ?

2 possible reasons here, some phones dont save outgoing messages automatically.

my phone often tells me when i try to send a message that its full and i have to delete messages, so i delete my outbox completely keeping the message im replying to as its in my inbox, so i eventually end up with 100 inbox no outbox and then have to delete the inbox too!

Tom_Saunders

Personaally I'd go mental and if I was bigger than him I'd give him a slap, if not I'd get my best mate to do it.

She shouldn't be allowed to text other blokes that she's alreasy shugged, He's alot calmer than I would be.

Also I'd chuck her mobile in the bin and give her a pay as you go with £1 credit every day, she's a cheating !!!!!.

Gingham_Ribbon

Tom_Saunders wrote:

She shouldn't be allowed to text other blokes that she's alreasy shugged, He's alot calmer than I would be.

:eek: Good grief!

There are different ways of showing respect in a relationship. One way is to agree not to have exes as friends or even friends of the opposite sex. Another is to trust each other and make sure that trust isn't violated. Whichever way you decide, being told you're 'not allowed' to be friends with someone is dodgy ground. Mutually agreeing to move away from those friendships is different.

Two of our wedding guests were men I'd been in relationships with previously. One for 4 years, and we're still friends now without any problems.

I don't know whether the OP is right to worry or not. But my opinion is that if the relationship is making him unhappy he needs to work out what he wants to do about it. And sitting down and having a proper discussion with his girlfriend, explaining his feelings and asking her for her opinion on them should be a step in the right direction.

iceicebaby

How old is your g/f? is she a lot younger than you ?

kathyd_2

There's nothing wrong with having friends of the opposite sex but I think your girlfriend needs to make it clear to this other guy that she's with you now and not to send any text messages which could be misleading. She should also have a word with the sister and tell her she doesn't want to talk about her exes as she is no longer interested what they get up to. But she'll only do that if she really wants to - put pressure on her to do what you think is right and she may well feel if she stays with you she's going to have to 'cave in' everytime you don't like something. Have a heart-to-heart with her.

tomaz64

Any man/women would feel jealous in this senario.Why would you want contact with a ex unless you still believe there's a chance of a shug or to play them with mind games.Personally if she's gonna cheat she's gonna cheat what you've got to think is what can she get from him that you have'nt got!!Try and control the green eyed monster and she might realise he's (the ex) is just playing her till the next totty comes along!or she !!!!!!s off with him at least you knew there was something adrift!!.Not a nice place to be,i think we've all been there mate.

Jet

I do think it's disrespectful of her to do this to you. There might be nothing going on but they're obviously both getting a bit of an ego boost from it and not taking your feelings into account.

I'm dating a guy at the moment who has told me that one of his best friends (female) definetely has feelings for him. He visits her and phones her, offers her a shoulder to cry on at her marriage break up etc. etc. He keeps his phone on silent when he's with me (to give us some peace he says) but has told me of text messages he has received from her that are very complementary to him. Now, don't get me wrong, in other circumstances, I'm sure I would get along great with this woman - I really don't dislike her at all - in fact I think she's a great person. But I'm starting to feel like she's a threat. BF tells me that he is adamant that he doesn't physically fancy her, but has to admit they get on brilliantly. My relationship with this guy is only a few months in and I'm really not sure where it's going anyway, but I'm really starting to wonder if I should be dealing with this stuff. Had some past bad experiences with ex's and female "friends". :rolleyes:

He has mentioned 3 times how he thinks we should spend Christmas day with her (even though she has a big family) as I'm a single parent as is she now.

Not sure if there's more to it than he says (if so, just wish they would make a go of it and I would give my blessing) or if he's just trying to make me jealous, or if he just genuinely likes her as a friend. Even if he only has friendship in mind, I wonder how fair it is to her, to not make it clear to her and keep her hoping for something more?

djdido2

i had a boyfriend that used to come in from work and check my phone almost immediately. i had nothing to hide, had never cheated and never would. he would question me about every single aspect of my entire life. who was that?, what did they want?, how do you know him/her etc. he even felt threatened by my best friend (who is a lesbian). it ruined us in the end.

no offence to the poster but i think he has self esteem issues. if he is paranoid to start with he has probably conditioned his g/f into covering her tracks to stop argument and confrontation.

it won't last.

not taking sides but she should be able to speak to who she likes whenever she wants to. unless he wants to turn her into a mouse who is too scared to speak to anyone at all. if she wanted him she could just get rid and go find him!!

as another op said, life is too short.


ps my closest friend at the moment is a guy and i have no desire to kiss or sleep with him whatsoever.

dixie_dean_2

djdido2 wrote:

i had a boyfriend that used to come in from work and check my phone almost immediately. i had nothing to hide, had never cheated and never would. he would question me about every single aspect of my entire life. who was that?, what did they want?, how do you know him/her etc. he even felt threatened by my best friend (who is a lesbian). it ruined us in the end.

no offence to the poster but i think he has self esteem issues. if he is paranoid to start with he has probably conditioned his g/f into covering her tracks to stop argument and confrontation.

it won't last.

not taking sides but she should be able to speak to who she likes whenever she wants to. unless he wants to turn her into a mouse who is too scared to speak to anyone at all. if she wanted him she could just get rid and go find him!!

as another op said, life is too short.


ps my closest friend at the moment is a guy and i have no desire to kiss or sleep with him whatsoever.

He wants to kiss and sleep with you though!

djdido2

nope

he is my friend!! thats it!!! it is possible you know!!!