Advice needed on Girlfriend - Please read...

Ivrytwr3

it's all well and good saying you shouldn't have read the messages if you don't like the answer, but if i had the feeling my OH was texting an ex i'd sure as hell look; dependant on what stage your relationship is at is whether i would bail!

You've asked her to stop as you don't like it, she said she would but then did it behind your back, even going as far as to delete the sent messages, she know's what she is doing is wrong and has resorted to doing it to behind your back.

I'd throw it to her how would she like you texting an ex and if she agrees she would hate that, tell her if she is sorry, to delete his number and if you find her texting him again it's over between you.

Nothing wrong with them saying hello if they see him out etc, but i would certainly be against encouraging the relationship by alowing her to text with him.

Texting is a private converstaion, it's just like picking up a telephone and calling someone else and she is doing this behind his back.

tut, i bet we could think of better things to do

Flirty innuendo with your OH, go round to the sad !!!!!!!s house and ask him !!!!!! he meant by this and then:

a. Warn him against texting her again and tell him he's a sad lonely man and to find his own girlfriend and to leave yours alone.

b. Uppercut to his chin.

(j/k)

lynzpower

Oh for heavens sake!

Before I met my OH I had a fair amount of admirers. I was habitually single, and there were a couple of fellas I was god freinds with, occasionally dated, what have you.

One in particular texted me a fair amount with the sort of things you say this lad has said to her. Personally I thought it was pretty sad. i made it clear I was no longer interested, Id met my OH and the days of playing the field were well & truly over.

Have you had a proper conversation - not an argumetn about this. how does she feel? If i were in here shoes Id be seeing the back of you. Kick offs and going mad isnt attractive. Id run a mile Im afriad.

dixie_dean_2

I find a hook more effective myself.

Seriously, she should be allowed to text who she wants. If she's been friends with this bloke for ages she can't be expected to break off all contact with him. The issue is trusting her when she says nothing is going on. I reckon one chat with her to explain that it mkaes you feel uneasy but you realise it would be unreasonable to expect them to not talk/see each other. If she assures you nothing is going on, that she wants to be with you and that they are just friends, you have to either accept that and trust her or move on. Maybe cooling the relationship (just in terms of seeing each other less ) would help to see how you both feel.

And again, good luck.

Ps - is James a big bloke?

debtfreehopeful_2

there are quite a few people here with jealousy issues, if i were you i would ignore advice to hit him etc.

Really what has she done? texted a friend, ignored a flirty comment. ok so she hid it from you but why? because you were being jealous and banning her from texting men (at that point i would have bailed had it been me, if you have so little trust in her whats the point)

Most of my friends are male, i even, god forbid flirt with some of them. then again my husband flirts with my best friend, it really isnt an issue as its all joking. If it was serious it would be another matter.

the very fact she didnt reply to the flirting says shes not interested. If she really had something to hide she would have deleted the messages, not left them there for you to find.

As for a couple of days space i would say, go to the pics or for a meal and then have a talk, a serious talk, explain why youre so bothered over something so minor. There must be a reason. Ask her why she hid it and clear the air, get out all these niggles and then decide wether its worth taking forward, the fact shes put up with your jealousy and your still there after her texting which you feel is so wrong says it probably is worth keeping on with.

Id also like to add to the person who said young groups of friends will drop each other, yes some will but some will be friends for far longer. my mums closest friends are from her teens in london and she now lives in cumbria, yet theyre still the ones she can rely on.

good luck and i hope you sort it

Gorgeous_George

Do you want the relationship to survive?

If yes, why? Is your self-esteem so low that you think you need a relationship with someone who cares so little for your feelings?

If you're not bothered, get rid of her and her friends. There are millions of people in the world. It's highly likely that you will meet someone better.

Maybe you are paranoid, but I would be too. If the relationship is to work (I dion't think it will) ask her to change her phone number and to share it only with friends she wants to communicate with.

The violence thing could land you in bother. There are better ways to extract revenge - if that's what you want.

As Elvis said 'We can't go on together with suspiscious minds'. Ditch her and move on. Your doubts will eat away at you otherwise.

Moneysaving? Find a new gf after Christmas!



GG

Gorgeous_George

lynzpower wrote:

Oh for heavens sake!

Before I met my OH I had a fair amount of admirers.

You still have.



GG

norbie

so we had a big bust up about it yesterday, she was very worried, insisted nothing is going on and that she is very thick to even txt james etc. and that im her life, and i mean everythign to her, she's never wanted so much from someone as she does me. etc etc.

if she says these things, do you believe her?

i think its probably just a trust issue, it will be hard but try and stick with it. she maybe lying about the things she said in that quote but i dont think she would do that. its not worth the risk losing the girl if she really does like you (and you like her too ofc)

quietheart

She's flirting and enjoying the additional attention this guy is giving her. For some people that's acceptable for some it isn't. I wouldn't like it so I wouldn't do it. You got to decide if she's worth the grief really.
Good luck with it. I actually think you have a reason to feel jealous, but then I don't think people should mess each other around. Life's too short really.

David_B_2

Well she says nothing is going on so you either believe her or you don't.

Personally I try and work it. Have a heart to heart and her you don't feel comfortable with other guys texting her because of how you feel for her.

Ask her what she would do or think if the boot is on the other foot? Receiving text's to that volume from another female, I'm betting she wouldn't be happy.

All the best.

funky-footprints

the things that comes across as suspicious to me is why would she delete messages from her outbox ? ? does your gf know your read up on her ? what is she hiding ?

the other option is believe what she is saying and give her the freedom she deserves, we are allowed to be friends with people of both sexes.

you both sound very young ..sorry at the oldie age of 32, I dont understand all this text speak !

if your gf assured you wasnt going to text James anymore, then ask her to text him, from her phone infront of you ....... compiling a message along the lines of, i dont want you to text me anymore, i am in a relationship and i want it to work out, this is complicating things.

I have in the past read a suggestive message on my husbands phone from a mutual friend, (who i knew had the hots for my husband) I told my dh about it and how i was upset by it, the message could of been taken either way, but as we were married i didnt see it approriate language to use to someone elses husband. i replied to the text, from my hsbands phone, and also forwarded it to her husband ! she wasnt too happy !! but maybe she should of thought about what she was texting !!

x