Breastfeeding

green6house

piglet25 wrote: »

How a woman chooses to feed her baby is her own decision and sod all to do with anyone else, as long as the baby is happy and healthy, I bottle fed all mine by choice and they are all fine and dandy and not for a minute did I feel selfish.

That's exactly the same logic that a smoker would use to justify them smoking around their baby. "It's my decision, the baby is happy, they are fine and dandy, it doesn't harm them..."


Breast milk is better for a baby than bottle milk. Fact. Some mothers cannot breast feed. Those that can but choose not to, they are chosing to give second best to their baby. Selfish.

gordikin

green6house wrote: »

That's exactly the same logic that a smoker would use to justify them smoking around their baby. "It's my decision, the baby is happy, they are fine and dandy, it doesn't harm them..."


Breast milk is better for a baby than bottle milk. Fact. Some mothers cannot breast feed. Those that can but choose not to, they are chosing to give second best to their baby. Selfish.

Thanks for joining MSE less than 6 minutes ago to share your pearls of dumbdom. AE perhaps?

biscit

Shelldean wrote: »

excuse me you don't know me yet believe you have the right to call me selfish!!!!!

You have misinterpreted what was written in order to have a strop! It does not say that all mothers who don't breastfeed are selfish, it criticises those who chose for selfish reasons, and mean the message gets a bit heavy for those who try and can't.



Talk about semantic logic failure.

Mankysteve wrote: »

Once she tried support and it doesn't work or genuinely can't find any then it would be time to suggest the bottle feed happy in the knowledge that everything that could be tried as.

Having a child is an emotional experience at the best of times. We've seen how people, years later, twist criticisms of selfish mothers who don't breastfeed into sweeping statements against all mothers who don't breastfeed.

When you're lost and in at the deep end, feeling helpless and wanting to do your best for your baby, the subtlety of "Breast is better" can get twisted in the head to "your child will be harmed if you don't".

Being three steps back it's easier to say, "If you tried your best, there's no shame in switching to the bottle." than it would be to think that for yourself.

marywooyeah

green6house wrote: »

That's exactly the same logic that a smoker would use to justify them smoking around their baby. "It's my decision, the baby is happy, they are fine and dandy, it doesn't harm them..."

ummm...except smoking DOES harm babies! Breastmilk is full of nutrients, but doesnt always have as much iron as formula depending on the mother's diet. Some women (myself included) have not much trouble breastfeeding whereas others can't physically do it no matter how much they try or simply choose not to, it doesn't make them selfish or bad mothers and it certainly doesn't harm their baby!
Why not post under your real username?

bosseyed

My issue with it is how aggressively its pushed as the only solution to feeding your baby, when in many cases its more beneficial for both mother and baby to switch to formula.

Simple fact is, if we had persevered with breast feeding my son would have had to go back into hospital as he would have lost far too much weight, but still the issue was pushed. It seems to defy all logic and its not just a case of trying harder to breastfeed - in some cases it just isn't a viable option, but still its pushed and the guilt trip laid on.

My other issue is how the womans desires and feelings when pregnant is treated with respect and every effort made to ensure she can do everything precisely how she wants - and rightly so, but when it comes to breastfeeding down come the official shutters and regardless of what the woman wants.

loztiggy

I agree its a mothers choice. We were incredibly blessed with no problems breastfeeding, and as baby got more hungry moved onto a formula. Some people really do struggle with BF,some mums find it incredibly painful, some babies dont latch properly, amongst other problems.

I think as long as ALL the options have been discussed with the mother so they are aware of the pros and cons of breast/formula, then the decision should be left to them, I DETESTED the health visitor, no baby is ever "just right" for them, they seem to look for things to pick at. Remember- you do have the right to refuse to engage with the health visitor, if you feel they are too pushy or judgemental. There are various accounts on the internet of spiteful HV's threatening fed up mums with social services for refusing their attendance but you are perfectly entitled to!

Mum knows best, once she has been informed!

LittleMissAspie

Dave101t wrote: »

a woman has breasts to provide milk for her baby, if she cant or wont, she deserves the guilt. survival of the fittest.

Lol. That's like saying that women's bodies are designed to give birth, so if something goes wrong and the woman can't deliver the baby properly you shouldn't intervene with modern inventions, you should just leave them to die. Survival of the fittest, right?

SDG31000

With DS1 he refused to breast feed., I tried for a week before having to admit defeat. The fact that I was suffering from undiagnosed severe PND probably didn't help matters either.
I had DS2 when DS1 was 3 years old. DS2 had a tongue tie which meant he couldn't latch on properly, so I was feeding at both breasts, then expressing and giving him that and then still having to give him top up bottles. It meant I was pinned to a seat for up to 2 hours at a time, while my 3 year old was running around the house causing chaos. My health visitor was wonderful, but my GP was a breastfeeding nazi. She was phoning me or coming to the house every day to see how I was getting on. I ended up in tears everytime. In the end my heath visitor had to tell her to back off and leave me alone.
Now I'm older and wiser and if I ever had another baby it would be my choice and I wouldn't put up with any of that nonsense again.

poet123

green6house wrote: »

That's exactly the same logic that a smoker would use to justify them smoking around their baby. "It's my decision, the baby is happy, they are fine and dandy, it doesn't harm them..."


Breast milk is better for a baby than bottle milk. Fact. Some mothers cannot breast feed. Those that can but choose not to, they are chosing to give second best to their baby. Selfish.

It depends on what factors you include when you define "second best" if you use a purely nutritional aspect then that may be true. If you include the necessity/desirbility to have a happy, relaxed and contented mum, then that may not be true, especially if the woman is forced or coerced into breastfeeding. Overall, breast is not always best.

As for your smoking analogy, choosing to use formula is hardly comparable

mumps

I breastfed my four; first one I was only 18 and lacking confidence and gave up at about 12 weeks. Next two were easy one fed for 8 months and one for 3 years. The fourth was a bit of a nightmare and I put that down to CSection making it more uncomfortable at first, fed for six months. I liked the ease of breastfeeding and that you always had enough feeds with you if you went out. Don't be put off if baby always seems hungry, my doctor told me if I was a cow I would win a prize as I produced so much milk but my son who was breastfed for 3 years wanted to feed constantly and at night he was on the breast constantly for first two years, he just seemed to need the comfort but he definitely wasn't underfed as he was off the charts for weight. I had a different HV with each of them, the best one was a typical old maid, never married, never had kids, bit old fashioned in her ways but she was brilliant. My first HV disapproved of me, age I think, in the end my GP phoned her in front of me and told her to back off, leave me alone and not to give advice about "his" babies. I loved it, from then on when I went to clinic he was weighed, his card made up and I left in silence, none of them would speak to me!