How can I tell my Husband that I hate the dog?

pelirocco

Icey77 wrote: »

He's a 5 month old German Shorthaired Pointer ... a working dog.

I am torn between trying to take him to classes and get some more training into him and feeling that I won't really ever bond with him as I prefer the cat!

I make sure I take him for a walk every day when I get home from work but the battle of wills coupled with the fact we are awake from 5am every day cos he's shouting for breakfast is really getting me down.

DH is worried for when he has to work nights and try to sleep in teh daytime - Chester is clever and know's he's upstairs so will be yelling for company.

I'm feeling very guilty, the "a dog is for life, not just for christmas" line is making me keep trying every day but when I have teeth marks in my arm for the umpteeth time and I have my clothes ripped and a headach from being barked at non stop for 20 minutes I want to be rid of him.

Lol , i just knew when I read your OP that it would be a shorthaired german pointer !! ......My son has one , he is now a year old comes to work ( family business ) and he only drives up the wall every few days !! He has been castrated and seems to be calming down , he no longer tries to climb on my lap or desk but can suffer with separation anxiety if my son goes out , pacing and whining ( hence the driving us mad )

Tbh your puppy needs training , but maybe its best for him if you rehome him before he gets much older

krlyr

Icey77 wrote: »

We have some basics in place at the moment - sit, lie down (sometimes), come (when there's nothing more exciting) but need to work on his recall properly and I would like to get his heel work improved and perhaps some fetching.

Training classes are a great idea but don't forget you can do a lot at home. Buy yourself a clicker and get online - Youtube is great for fnding instructional videos, so no need to splurge on various books. Try the "Kikopup" channel in particular, I find her videos very self-explanatory (I often watch them at work where I have no sound, and if I can understand them without sound then they can't be too difficult!). Working on tricks will help build a bond with him, which it sounds like you really need, and lots of tricks are practical. For example, a good "leave it" will work on his self-control which will ultimately help him learn to restrain himself overall. Teaching a "settle" on command will allow him to switch off when you're not entertaining him, a "watch me" can be great for getting his attention (may prove helpful when trying to integrate the cat into his life too), teaching him to swap items will prove handy when you find him with a shoe in his mouth and want him to give it up without a fight (remember to swap for something fun and high value though). Not to mention that brain training is quite tiring for a dog, and a tired dog is generally a well-behaved dog, so training is a great addition to physical exercise.

Icey77 wrote: »

He has had diahorrea for the last few days so we have been giving him plain rice and chicken in an attempt to clear it, we think perhaps this is contributing to his behaviour - poorly kids will act up and Chester is a kid still really!

What is Chester fed on? A poorly tummy could be having an effect, from him feeling off-colour and not wanting to listen to you, to being hungry and misbehaving to get food (e.g. counter surfing). Another thing to consider is the food you're feeding him. Like kids, e-numbers and additives can have horrendous effects on dogs and it can be like giving children the old fashioned Smarties, hyper behaviour ahoy! Do you mind saying what food you feed? If you don't already, consider premium foods like James Wellbeloved, Burns, Barking Heads, Fish4Dogs, etc. - OK, they can be a little pricey but it's worth noting that good quality foods are more digestible, so you feed less. When I worked in a petshop, several customers were surprised when I showed them that a premium food like James Wellbeloved actually worked out cheaper than stuff like Bakers - it may be twice the price but you fed a third less because the higher quality ingredients were that much more digestible to the dogs. If you're on a budget then look at ingredients in cheaper foods carefully. The CSJ range of foods are pretty good for their pricerange and you can order online or contact them to find local stockists.

You sound like you've got a sensible head on your shoulders and like you've probably just been a bit overwhelmed by it all. Even experienced dog owners can feel the same! Good luck with it all and I hope you can begin to start enjoying dog ownership soon - you will get there! Well done for owning up to struggling, and seeking ways to deal with it

Shadowstar

Can I ask what he's normally fed? Some of the foods available in supermarkets are terrible and can actually contribute to bad behaviour. In addition to Krlyrs list above, Pets at Home do Wainwrights dog food which isn't bad and works out a bit cheaper than the others if money is a concern. It's probably not quite as good quality but better than what's available in most shops.

My own dog is probably a German Wirehaired Pointer/Lab mix according to gundog people and I went through hell with him when I got him. He was a rescue and had some really severe behaviour issues as well as having no manners. Training has helped massively and for the most part he's a wonderful dog now. He still has a few problems but no longer attempts to dance on my head in excitement, no longer grabs my arm and swings from it in play and I can't remember the last time he stole food. I clicker train and have had brilliant results with it, both with my dog and with other peoples dogs. I also felt guilty when I was struggling with his behaviour but I got a lot of support from a dog forum which really helped. One thing I was told to do was keep a diary of the progress we were making. That way when you're having a bad day and think you're getting nowhere you can look back and see just how far you've come. It's hard to see progress when you're the one working with the dog so this really helped me.

Icey77

He was on Pedigree Chum tinned puppy food accompanied with Purina dried puppy food. The chap that gave us the 1:1 training suggested that th Purina stuff might be stuffed full of additives etc so advised us to an organic dried food (local company) called Symply (I think).

We tried to move over to it slowly but this could have caused the runny tummy. We switched him on to the rice and chicken as soon as we realised it wasn't clearing up in a day or so.

We think the rice and chicken diet is working, the poo is starting to look more poo-like rather than a poo-lake _pale_ we plan to start re-introducing tinned/dried food slowly if it continues to improve to the weekend.

I was asking DH just before this all started if we were feeding him enough, he thought so as Chester was gaining weight but I was a little doubtful - but I don't know anything about dogs

I have just bought a clicker on ebay and it should arrive soon

I wanted the training class so that I can learn the right way of training Chester rather than getting it wrong and compounding already poor behaviour. A little reassurance for me too that we are getting somewhere too ... hopefully!

Thanks, any more suggestions are very welcome!

krlyr

I would definately steer clear of Pedigree, Purina and the likes. My general rule would be if you can buy it in a supermarket, it's probably not great - there may be a few exceptions but for the most part, it's all cheap and cheerful (full of sugar, fats, salt, addictives and e-numbers). Do you have a Pets At Home near you? They do their own brand as such (not labelled PAH but think they're the only stockists) called Wainwrights, and their food is meant to be a cheaper version of some of the premium brand stuff. They do a dry food and a wet food - the wet food in trays is meant to be very similar to the NatureDiet food which is what I used to feed my last dog. I mixed it in with dry food just to keep it interesting for her. Lots of wet foods are a bit of a junk food for dogs, the brands I would stick to would be NatureDiet, Wainwrights, Nature's Menu, Almo Nature, Forthglade - the ones with a few limited ingredients, high meat content (lots of the named ones are 60%+) and no fancy gimmicks like "roast beef with country vegetables" - these gimmicks are aimed at you as the buyer, not the dog.
I've heard of Symply and it sounds quite good so might be worth trying again - even just using the biscuits as treats for training if you bought a dry food from them. Some foods just don't agree with dogs though, no matter how good, just like humans get IBS and other stomach problems from certain foods.
A training class will definately help you to get some structure and training classes are just as much (if not more!) about training the owner as well as the dog, and it's good for socialisation as long as the classes aren't manic with dogs running loose all over the place. You can always stick to the basics at home, for example you can start training a recall just by picking a recall command (for example, "come" - don't use the dog's name on its own, because you will use his name so often that it tends to become meaningless - one minute you'll be using it for recall, the next for attention, the next to get him to drop something, it will confuse him and slow down training) and using this command at meal times to call him from another room/the other side of the room. He learns that "Chester, come" means "If I go that way, I get food", and that's a good basis for recall. You can then move onto giving him high value treats instead of dinner, and start practicing in the garden before you move onto more distracting environments

tango

Icey77 wrote: »

He was on Pedigree Chum tinned puppy food accompanied with Purina dried puppy food. The chap that gave us the 1:1 training suggested that th Purina stuff might be stuffed full of additives etc so advised us to an organic dried food (local company) called Symply (I think).

We tried to move over to it slowly but this could have caused the runny tummy. We switched him on to the rice and chicken as soon as we realised it wasn't clearing up in a day or so.

We think the rice and chicken diet is working, the poo is starting to look more poo-like rather than a poo-lake _pale_ we plan to start re-introducing tinned/dried food slowly if it continues to improve to the weekend.

I was asking DH just before this all started if we were feeding him enough, he thought so as Chester was gaining weight but I was a little doubtful - but I don't know anything about dogs

I have just bought a clicker on ebay and it should arrive soon

I wanted the training class so that I can learn the right way of training Chester rather than getting it wrong and compounding already poor behaviour. A little reassurance for me too that we are getting somewhere too ... hopefully!

Thanks, any more suggestions are very welcome!

I feed mine on Whites puppy ( no additives etc) twice daily with cooked chicken on top or liver cooked,she also has a beef bone every lunch,great for keeping her occupied.

GSP need alot more food than most dogs they are high energy,maybe try a gentle leader head collar ( takes a while ) to stop pulling.

Mine is still a handful and I have had some embarrassing moments but the breed will reward you a 100 times over if you have patience

krlyr

Oh, another tip - look up the "300 peck method" for loose lead walking in dogs. If you google it then there's a pdf link in the first 5 or so results which explains it very well. Basically you're teaching a dog to walk without pulling, one step at a time. Once it's mastered one step, you aim for two. Then three, four, five. If it can't master 5 steps in a row, you start back at the beginning. This may mean for the first few days, you get stuck in a loop of walking 5 steps and starting over but I found with my dog that it didn't take her very long to twig on and suddenly we were managing 30 steps, 40 steps, 60 steps and so on It's very rewarding to see that moment when they click and realised what you're after

ladymarmalade1970

Arden Grange is a good food and not that expensive if you buy online.
I do feel for you. I have a soon to be 2 year old staffy X and i had him from 6 weeks. Talk about hard work! We only mastered the not jumping up about 6 months ago!
He has come along in leaps and bounds though and i am so proud of him. Yes he is hyper (and the vet told me he won't calm down till he is about 8 LOL) but he also has so much charactor and to say we dote on him is an understatement. We can so tell if we don't walk him though and also, he is rarely left and if he is left he is with our other dog, a rottie.
Just carry on being consistant and giving him little things to do. Working dogs are generally a bit more demanding as they are so clever. You could hide treats and stuff round the house then say "find it" etc. They love that.
Good luck anyway.

rising_from_the_ashes

*Robin* wrote: »

In which case, he's probably bored witless by being left alone when you're both at work, and desperately in need of attention and stimulation when you are at home. A dog-sitter dropping in briefly during the day is unlikely to be enough for him.
Are you going to training classes? That would really help you both. And I suspect Chester needs more exercise than he's getting.

ETA: Ah, I see Chester is a five month old pointer. Oh dear. I'm very, very sorry to say that I don't think this breed will be happy left to his own devices so much, and with no work to occupy him. He should have started going to training classes as soon as he'd had his jabs, and if you want to keep him, please please start classes straight away (- this weekend?).

To be honest, in your position I would call the breeder and see if they can help you find a working home for Chester. That would be the best solution for him, and probably for your poor cat who is in some danger.

Later on, if your husband is still keen on having a dog, why not go and visit your local shelter? Explain your circumstances honestly, and I'm sure they'll be able to match you up with an older, calmer dog who will be happy to stay at home alone, who'll be friends with your cat and eventually, who you can trust in the same household as a baby.

nonnatus wrote: »

Wow! I agree with the previous posts. A pointer is certainly not a dog for a beginner and if you're giving off vibes of fear and loathing, poor Chester will be picking up on that. Please speak to the breeder. Maybe do a bit of research and settle on a nice docile lap dog that won't chase cats (as opposed to one who's bred to chase small furry creatures!).

Icey77 wrote: »

DH came home last night and we had a chat, he now knows how unhappy I am with the situation. He told me that I am his world and his priority. He wants to give Chester a fair chance so we are going to keep him for the foreseeable future, I will be arranging for Chester and I to be assessed by a local traiing school and hopefully be placed in a suitable class for basic training.

DH arranged the training we've had so far, we had a 1:1 day where the improvement was amazing. We got the feeding routine, sit and down sorted and it has stayed.

I still feel horribly guilty that I am at a point where we are not providing the best environment for Chester, or Snoop (the cat) for that matter. I will do my best for them but if it turns out to be not good enough I hope that we will be able to find him a loving home where he will be happier.

Hi Icey, glad you and DH have had a chat and are making a start with the training classes. However there was a bit of a contradiction between "I am his world and his priority. He wants to give Chester a fair chance so we are going to keep him for the foreseeable future".

It still sounds as if DH is more into having Chester than you and you both need to be 100% committed for this to stand any chance of working.

I'm afraid I have to agree with many of the other posts - a puppy is a huge commitment in time, energy, stimulation, exercise, training etc, etc.

Most pups would struggle being left for longer periods (even with a walker coming in) and this will make them even more hyper when you come in as they will be desparately seeking the attention they've not had during your absence.

Add in a working breed to this mix and ...... although working breeds can make excellent family pets, where this is successful is when the family are able to devote huge amounts of time with the dog and ensure it always has a stimulating environment. If this doesn't happen, they can have problems ranging from behavioural to destructiveness and this worries me a bit.

I also agree that an older dog may be more suitable to your situation, especially if children are on the scene.

Re the cat, please ensure he has somewhere he can escape from the dog's attentions and have somewhere he feels safe and secure in.

It can work, my wee cat adores my dog and the big one is indifferent towards him. However, I have a friend who had 2 cats before getting a dog (now has 2) and they still have huge problems (dogs downstairs, cats upstairs and never the 2 can meet)!

Really hope the training works however please do not underestimate the dedication that will be required to ensure Chester grows up to be a happy, well behaved boy - if any doubts at all, please find a new home for him (will be harder the longer you have him).

Wishing you the best of luck and really hope it works out.

Moominmamma

Hi Icey,

Just wanted to wish you luck really - Chester is still very young, so plenty of room for improvement!! My parents have always had GSPs and without exception they have been fantastic dogs. My dad's dog he has at the moment was a rescue one and a complete nightmare for quite a while, understandably under the circumstances he had huge separation issues and was very hyper and destructive but he's calmed down a lot now and is a really lovely dog.

As previous posters have metioned I'd also recommend you try a halti, I have a labradoodle and he used to pull like a train, I was quite dubious about the halti tbh but it has worked like a dream, I forget he's there sometimes:rotfl:

As for recall my boy has been driving me to distraction lately, I was beginning to resign myself to having to walk him on the lead but on the advice of the guy in my local pet shop I now take a squeaky ball with me when I walk my dog and squeak it when I want him to come and give him a treat when he does - he's not allowed to play with the ball though. Obviously he doesn't like the sound of my voice because where he was steadfastly ignoring me calling him he almost always comes running when I squeak the ball!!

Really hope everything works out for you and your dh and Chester and Snoop x