Used to be the life of the party but now can't be bothered with people at all really.

red_devil

im content with what i have. I have often found friendships to be more hassle that they are worth.

lostinrates

Primarni wrote: »

Thanks so much everybody. You've made me feel much less of a freak!

I did actually get a bit of social phobia after my ''withdrawal from society'' during a period of very severe ill health. I look different (less good, obviously) and felt different. Occasionally my husband or family wheeled me out to meet and greet. I remember one ghastly Boxing Day party where I was laid out like a cripple on a sofa to smile wanly and heard people saying to my parents., ''oh how awful for you'' ''she looks like a different person- and a half'' and ''she's very lucky the chap is being supportive'' etc etc. It didn't make me want to spend time with people much and was too exhausting.

NAd then...I found I got out of the habit. I get tired and irritable after making an effort for too long, and I've become a weirdo who talks to my animals as if they were people. I do miss socialising sometimes, but often, when the opportunity is there I just can't summon up the enthusiam. I've worked out the ideal thing for me is if people come here....for just the right amount of time, when everything else is ok..weather, garden, work then dissappear again as I get tired. But it doesn't make me very good friend :o

Pee

I think your post explaining that you have a boyfriend and family is very helpful. There are plenty of people in your life who you do enjoy spending time with.

If it's putting you off getting a job, though, that seems a bit concerning.

If you met me, you'd think I was outgoing and really liked and was interested in people - and the second bit is true- but I am actually incredibly shy. Most of the conversations I have involve a lot of listening, which is how I like it. I make friends very slowly and gradually, people stay aquaintances for a lot longer than they did at Uni for instance. Sometimes I don't want to face people, and to be honest, I do think that is a sign of depression, which I monitor. Sometimes I really enjoy the company of others. I think as long as you enjoy the company of some people, you are just fine.

Kantankrus_Mare

I think we all read magazines which seem to focus on relationships and friendships.

How to nurture them, how to present the show house,make out we are all calm, popular, great entertainers, blah blah blah......................when in reality, life just isnt like that.

I for one am on my feet for 8/9 hours a day at work and all day I have to be pleasant and chatty to people which most of the time is ok.

But..........the last thing I want to do after a long day at work is go home, make an effort to look presentable, and be pleasant and chatty to even more people.

Its not so bad if its just me and OH going out for something to eat or a few drinks as I don't have to try to be "fabulous " company.

I can just be me

relic

I'm in my mid twenties, and i'm already known as grumpy old man.... I love it!

mutter

relic wrote: »

I'm in my mid twenties, and i'm already known as grumpy old man.... I love it!

That comment took me back to my teenage years when a friend of mine, who must have been all of 17, announced that he'd be glad when he was 40, so he could stop pretending he was having fun!




Kantankrus Mare - that's so true!
We're made to feel like we're abnormal if we don't have an enormous circle of 'friends'n'family'.

Now my daughter doesn't live here, I'm fortunate in not having to even see those magazines - I never bought them myself, but having flicked through hers, I realise that to corform to society's apparent norms, you have to have a fake tan, no cellulite, a celeb fixation and a close family memeber who had an affair with your husband / a sex change /mysterious but incurable disease.

I'd recommend you spend your money on some more uplifting publications like Private Eye, Metal Hammer or Country Life and stop being made to feel inadequate.

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry when at my mother's funeral, I noticed my sister running around asking people we barely knew if they were on Facebook and asking them for an 'add'.

Jacks_xxx

lostinrates wrote: »

I did actually get a bit of social phobia after my ''withdrawal from society'' during a period of very severe ill health. I look different (less good, obviously) and felt different. Occasionally my husband or family wheeled me out to meet and greet. I remember one ghastly Boxing Day party where I was laid out like a cripple on a sofa to smile wanly and heard people saying to my parents., ''oh how awful for you'' ''she looks like a different person- and a half'' and ''she's very lucky the chap is being supportive'' etc etc. It didn't make me want to spend time with people much and was too exhausting.

NAd then...I found I got out of the habit. I get tired and irritable after making an effort for too long, and I've become a weirdo who talks to my animals as if they were people. I do miss socialising sometimes, but often, when the opportunity is there I just can't summon up the enthusiam. I've worked out the ideal thing for me is if people come here....for just the right amount of time, when everything else is ok..weather, garden, work then dissappear again as I get tired. But it doesn't make me very good friend :o

Honey, we all do the best we can.

We had a social life gap when we were in dire financial straits and I think we hurt people's feelings by saying no all the time. We did explain why, and we were too stressed an knackered to have been any fun anyway, but we've never returned to pre financial melt down social life levels and that's partly down to us and partly down to them.

I miss 'em sometimes, but most of the time I don't mind that much.

goodgirl80

This thread is now my spiritual home! Good to know I'm not weird for being like this. Not that I mind being weird

Jacks_xxx

goodgirl80 wrote: »

This thread is now my spiritual home! Good to know I'm not weird for being like this. Not that I mind being weird

I like odd people! They're interesting. I'd take weird anytime over any number of cookie cutter, stepford wife, conform to the norm "this is what I'ms s'posed to be like" types.

We're slightly antisocial (discerning ) and we're proud!

goodgirl80