Used to be the life of the party but now can't be bothered with people at all really.

pinkshoes

I don't think there's anything wrong with you! It's just "old age", and you're going through a phase where you value your own company more than that of other people. Nowt wrong with that!

Jinx

Primarni wrote: »

I'm better in a group than one to one I think. It's not all on me if I'm just part of the group. Although I do think my friends still expect me to be a rip roaring party girl and that's not who I am any more.

I don't *feel* depressed. I just don't feel as if I have the emotional resources or energy to deal with people all the time. They exhaust me and stress me out.

I feel like this. I work hard and have to be polite and calm all day even to the t*ats... Therefore I am usually very glad to get home and relax and just 'be'.

Also, I'm okay if I go out straight from work or at the weekend, but dont ask me to come home and then go out again.... lol:D

carefullycautious

Social Phobia

fedupfreda

Hi Primarni

Just popped by and your post caught my eye, I have exactly the same feelings (in fact its one of the reasons I take a break from internet forums every so often.):o

Seems to me you are maybe exhausted - and your body is telling you to take a break from people or situations which are draining you. What drains you most? Work? Social commitments? Just generally suffering 'relationship overload'? Sometimes the strain of 'keeping up' with everything socially can get too much and you need to take a break. Is it people at work, or the nature of your work, which is draining your energy, leaving you feeling empty in your personal time?

Do you have anything at all that you look forward to - even if its putting your feet up in front of a good film, a walk in the countryside, a nice bath and a glass of something chilled? Or is there nothing in your life to look forward to, and everything seems 'numb' and 'flat'?

If everything seems 'numb', maybe you need to speak to your doctor about the possibility of depression. If you have some things in your life that you do look forward to, and just enjoy your own company, maybe you have moved on in life and just reached a maturer phase; could you have got fed up with the superficial nature of some relationships these days and need to find something more meaningful? There are no quick answers to this one. But if you have no problems with communication with 'strangers' IYSWIM, but its your current long term relationships, or the thought of making NEW long term relationships at a new work place, which is getting to you, it sounds to me like 'relationship overload'. Maybe your body is telling you to take a step back and have some quiet time for yourself?

HTH
Freda X

POPPYOSCAR

Are you happy?

If so then what's the problem?

I have found myself getting more and more like this as I am getting older.

And I just can't be bothered with the games people play anymore.

Steel_2

Primarni wrote: »

What's wrong with me?

I'm just not interested in people any more.

I'm fine connecting with people on a really superficial level such as having a joke with a delivery bloke or something, but when anybody tries to actually make friends with me or invite me anywhere I run a mile!

I'm not that interested in going out any more even. It just seems like such a waste of money and energy. Whereas being with people used to energize me, now it drains me and I feel exhausted and grumpy just thinking about it.

I just don't feel as if I have the will to make an effort with people any more. I'm not even going on Facebook because even that amount of effort is too much for me and I just can't be bothered. Plus as soon as I pop up on FB people will start inviting me to stuff.

My phone is broken and I have just put it in a drawer. That way people can't bliddy text me all the flippin' time.

On here I post about 2% of the time and read about 98%. I don't even log in unless I'm braving DT or The Arms.

I need to get a new job. I've gone as far as I can here, but what's putting me off looking is the thought of having to get to know everybody in my new place!

Has anybody else had this?

Are you my twin? :rotfl:

Like a bit of chat and a banter, but anything else I just can't be bothered with.

I go home each night to my home, put my feet up and take off the 'mask' of social niceness I've had to wear all day. Other people are just hard work and I find I can't be around them too much.

I make excuses not to go out anywhere unless it's just hubby and me and then I really look forward to it. After seven years we still natter like we only met yesterday. Hubby does go out to see his friends once or twice a week - a flying club and a car club where they all talk model planes and car restorations for hours in a church hall with tea and biscuits. :rotfl: I take the opportunity to have a long deep bath.

I lost my last phone because it ran out of charge and I forgot where I put it down in the house. Most of time my new phone (bought at the insistence of my husband) stays off and I carry it only in case I need to make an emergency call.

No facebook, no twitter. I've loads of hobbies and all of them solitary.

I loved being single. All the me time in the world and being able to do what I liked. No demands being put on me by anyone. I was really surprised when I met hubby and he proved to be someone I could spend time with, and who instinctively left me alone when I needed it without me having to ask.

I have two friends. One I've had for 25 years who lives abroad and I talk to once a month. One I've had for 8 years who lives round the corner and I email about once a week and see once a month or so.

And that's about as much contact as I like.

My idea of heaven is a lock down in a library where I can be left to read and think for hours.

I'm happy and quite content. I want peace in my life and on the whole I have it.

balletshoes

If you're content with the way your life has changed, then I don't see that theres anything at all to worry about. I've always believed that just because someone phones me/messages me/knocks on the door, doesn't mean I have to answer them!

I love being home, occasionally like going out for a meal with a couple of drinks with my OH or 2 or 3 good friends, but can't be doing with noisy pubs/clubs and social butterflying, its just not me anymore (and hasn't been since my mid twenties if I'm honest - thats when I grew up).

Gary1963

I must admit sometimes I look at this world and think I must be an Alien!

mutter

I wouldn't necessarily say you're depressed - you could be, but on the other hand, you could just be going through a change in your life.
People want and need different levels of social interaction at different times in their life and that's perfectly natural.

I consider myself to be quite a loner.
I don't 'hate' people, but I'm rubbish at keeping up friendships with all but a handful of people because really, they're not that important to me.

On the other hand, unlike you, I do feel energised by being around people, and my way of having my cake and eating it is going to gigs, festivals and holidays on my own, so I can feel the excitement and atmosphere without having to actually be with anyone.

I often get chatting to people, and that's great because a lot of the people I meet are really nice, but I come away ever so slightly relieved that I'm not expected to nurture a friendship or even see them again!

throughtherain

I feel similarly. Part of me would love to be contacted by friends wanting to interact with me, but part of me likes being alone.

I never know if I have no friends because I have isolated myself because I prefer being alone, or I have decided that I like being alone because I have no friends.

I find it hard keeping in touch with friends, and so my only friends are people I work with as I am forced to see them regularly, and I enjoy the interaction I have with them.

So I echo what someone has already said - only you know if you're happy as you are now or whether there is something wrong. Perhaps going to see GP would be a good idea?