Birthday gifts for adult children?

donquine

My father frequently asks when I obtained gadget X.

The answer is generally two birthdays ago, when he and my mother gifted it to me. I would be quite happy not to receive presents and/or cards, but my mother insists and picks them out. She generally gets my father to add his signature and to pay for whatever gift she decides I would like.

From speaking to friends and other relatives, it does seem quite common that where there is a male-female partnership, it's the woman who organises this kind of thing. I must admit, I bought a card for FIL's birthday recently and prompted OH to sign it. He had completely forgotten...

bigmomma051204

dont have much of a point to make..... but i see the point about children not receiving from relatives being upsetting. My husbands sister and husband only buy my husband a present at xmas or birthday. Never anything for me or for our son who is 6years. At xmas just gone, i recieved one from them as did our son - but i noticed that the writing on the tag on ours was mother in laws writing so she had obvously bought me and our son pressies as she knows the sister wont lol... i always buy her and her husband something - admittedly i now buy something for them to share ie nice box of chocs and bottle of wine type thing instead of individual pressies.
I dont mind them only buying for hubby and not for me (despite the fact that until we got together, he NEVER bought his sister a present lol and i buy her the presents we give her as he forgets lol!) BUT i do find the fact that they choose not to buy for our son, their only nephew a tad upsetting. They don't even get him a birthday card. I might just be being sensitive, but to me (and my hubby) it would be more appreciated for them to spend the money on getting our little one a present than hubby - our little boy notices every year that he doesnt get a card etc off them - not because he is expecting one or is spoilt etc, but just because he likes them and is old enough to know who people are etc. Wrongly or rightly, last birthday i bought him a card from them and put a sticker set toy thing in the card "from them". I know others may think this silly BUT the year before last he asked me if they didnt get him anything cos they didnt like him and dont want to be his friends... So upsetting :cool:

mancbird

I have a very large extended family and our 'rule' is that presents and money stop when you leave school and get a job although I still get cards and money from some of my aunties and uncles and I'm in my thirties now! my grandparents still got all of us a present at Christmas and birthdays up until their deaths last year. I do buy all my aunties and uncles a present each Christmas (usually wine & choccies).

Despite the huge size of our family we are all very close.

Within my immediate family we all buy presents and usually spend around £25 each.

I suppose every family is different.

itstrott4u18

lostinrates wrote: »

Quick question;

is it normal to still receive gifts/cards from parents when you are an adult child? Does anyone here not give/receive gifts in that situation?


No one is particularly upset or going to cause a row but the context is DH and his siblings haven't received a ''birthday'' gift for a few years and though they are not piqued in general they felt a bit upset when they learned their new step siblings birthday was marked with a gift. I suggested it might be because she is younger (early twenties I think) and also because mother's as opposed to fathers might just be better at remembering. There is no question of their father being ''mean'' in this context: I'm sure he'd give something if they asked.

it really hurts when someone especially your closest one do not offered any gift on the the birthday on other hand person think that say that simple ignoring him

victory

We do cards for all after they are 18/21 and that has always been like that, little kids presents older kids cards, xmas included and birthdays other than if it is a special one then no, as a family we do xmas presents for our kids and they get if they are under the age, we buy for christenings, but other than that past the age just a card.

borokat

My mum and dad still give me a present, they still buy for my sister who is 33 so I can't see it stopping any time soon. I buy them presents too.

minerva_windsong

kettlefish wrote: »

I think it must vary a lot from family to family... I love receiving a card from my mum and dad for my birthday and Christmas (although I am fully aware my dad has nothing to do with choosing it, bless him!) and would be a bit upset if I didn't. I would be more than happy with just a card and no pressie but the things my mum chooses always lovely and something I'd never treat myself to! In turn I love getting my mum and dad something for special occasions but it doesn't have to be big - a box of Maltesers would do the job! Then again I might just be stupidly immature, poor "Santa" still does stockings for DH, brothers and I (27, 20, 17 and 22)!

Pretty much this for me!

It's my sister's birthday a week on Monday and mine two weeks on Sunday. We'll be 36 and 24, and our parents will still buy us presents (well it'll be my mum who picks it out and pays for it, but still). That's not because my dad's cold hearted or tight or anything, but because it just genuinely doesn't occur to him.

It won't be anything too flashy or expensive - frankly I'd be happy with a phone call - but it's still lovely and thoughtful of them, and I do my best to return the favour by getting them presents for special occasions like their anniversary as well as birthdays and Christmas.

Youdontseeme

Small family here just me, the is and the parents (no grandkids or much other family)

We still buy pressies, again Mother leads the way I dont even think Dad signs the card!

Me and sis tend to team up for their birthdays, xmas and parent days so they get a better pressie.

I have to remind my sis to remind my Dad, give them a list to chose from and usually get her to buy it for him and wrap it when it comes to Mum.

Was rather miffed this year as I had to buy my sisters chap a christmas and birthday pressie (within a week of each other) but my pressies were just signed by the both of them and being of around the same value of when sis was on her own, they dont live together so a joint gift for them was a no-no.

Yes I am that person who gives great gifts to get better ones back but only when it comes to family!

YDSM

elfen

We get (5 of us) a small amount of money each for birthdays, as do our OH's - mine was shocked as mum gave it to him and said 'you're part of the family, you get treated the same'. Also, it's usually small Xmas pressies as none of us can afford much so I try and find presents suited to the person - it could be a funny mug, a teddy I've seen, a DVD or cheap set of them, a book or two, etc etc

bagginslover

I'm 31 this week, and I'll be getting presents from my family (parents have already given me my gifts- mum took me clothes shopping ). Both my brothers (41 and 42) still get gifts from us all too (even though the younger of them doesn't talk to any of us anymore, we all still send him something-he is family).

Xmas is a bit different. Those with children only receive token gifts if at all so that more can be spent on the kids (£20 each max). As I don't have children yet, I still get proper gifts, but I am well aware that will change when I start a family, and I am more than happy with that