Teenage Son

Savvy_Sue

I don't know if it's striking anyone else, but these things are sometimes so much easier when we are bigger than they are.

I remember when DS3 was in Reception, he was a complete pain about getting dressed in the mornings. And as a result, his older brothers were ALWAYS late to school, which wasn't fair on them. Or me, come to that.

So one day I took him to school in his PJs. And put him in a quiet corner while he dressed and I expalined to the class TA why he was in the corner getting dressed! Fortunately she thought this was a splendid idea.

The next day, he walked to school with no trousers on. His coat was just about long enough to cover his pants, but he did look a little strange. However, he learned! And after that, I had no problem with him dressing.

This one did admit to me as a teenager that I couldn't win now: if I ask him to do something more than once, I am nagging. If I only ask once, it won't get done: he'll forget, he won't get round to it, he won't want to do it. But he did still respond to consequences: if he wanted a lift, he learned to do the jobs I'd asked him to do FIRST! If he wanted money, ditto.

Life's more difficult now that he rarely wants lifts, and doesn't need money. :rotfl: However, at least he's now at Uni, so he knows that if he doesn't clear up after himself, no-one else will! At least, not at Uni ...

ska_lover

Hi Sadmum,

I relate to this.

My nearly 19yr old son has always been lazy to the exterme. Exact same things you say, the messes in the kitchen, the filthy bedroom, cant even be bothered to bring his washing downstairs. My lad decided he could'nt be bothered with college, dropped out and wanted to laze in bed all day while me and my oh are out working ft.

we thought he had turned a corner when he got a job in february this year, but got the sack three months later - as a result of being constantly late. Im not talking about every now and again, he was late 80% of the time. I cant blame them for sacking him.

He wasn't brought up like this either - from a hard working family.

He is completely wasting every opportunity given.

I won't be kicking him out to watch him ruin his life from afar though, oh no...I will make his life extremly difficult right here mwahahahahahaha (thats my evil laugh)

Sometimes I wonder what happened to my lovely little boy? Where did he go and who is this lazy 6ft oik that replaced him?

Sincerely I love my lad with all my heart and I have to believe that he will come good eventually or I would go completely nuts. You do hear lots of people saying their teens used to be nightmares and the parents survived it.

Good luck with your lad

jamespir

i think some of the post are ott to be fair tell him to clean his mess up or he dont go out etc

ska_lover

OH yeah? Its not that easy James. Sometimes they just leave the mess and go out anyway. whaddya suggest then? Mr Expert? Huh?

Its rather hard to tell an ADULT 18/19 year old that they are not going out and get taken seriously.

However if you tell them to wash the dishes, they dont take that seriously either

daska

jamespir wrote: »

i think some of the post are ott to be fair tell him to clean his mess up or he dont go out etc

LOL, I take it your children are either perfectly behaved or still smaller/weaker than you are. I'm disabled and I can't even physically restrain DS2 who's only 3! At 14 DS1 is already 5'13" (bless LOL) and on course for 6'5"... exactly how will I go about preventing him from leaving the house when he's technically an adult? (TBH I don't think it'll be an issue but would love to know your suggestions )

martinthebandit

ska_lover wrote: »

cant even be bothered to bring his washing downstairs.

That begs the question then, what does he do for clean clothes?

mycatdenzil

My 16 year old DS is a lovely lad and great round the house, however he refused to come shopping with me one night and I really needed him to come along as I was buying a very heavy item.

I just quietly waundered round the house picking up every remote control and popped them in my handbag and zipped it up :rotfl:.

The sheer terror in his eyes when he realised the Sky+ remote had disappeared was magic:D.

To the OP, I would have a chat with messy DS and let him know you have cleaned up after him for the last time. If it happens again, then you'll be leaving it as it is and he'll find the washing/ironing fairy will disappear too.

At his age, he'll be motified bringing his GF back to a house thats like a tip with all his sweaty washing pilling up in his room.

Turning off your wi-fi intermittently could be an evil alternative too!

jamespir

ska_lover wrote: »

OH yeah? Its not that easy James. Sometimes they just leave the mess and go out anyway. whaddya suggest then? Mr Expert? Huh?

Its rather hard to tell an ADULT 18/19 year old that they are not going out and get taken seriously.

However if you tell them to wash the dishes, they dont take that seriously either

so whats changed from 10 years ago i dared not to go against ,my parents and if they said i couldnt go out i didnt


see weve taken discipline away instead of kids being scared of going against there parents its the othe way round now

alex21

My sixteen year old son left the bathroom in a mess every day. Water everywhere wet towels on floor etc. I was told when I went mad that it was my own fault for coming home from work too early and as long as it was cleared up by the time I got home it shouldn't matter! He has a point although I think I should be able to come home early if I feel so inclined. He accepted my reasoning regards discoloured grouting, sealant etc and thus the need to wipe up after you at the time and not 8 hours later but not the need to pick up and put in laundry. Having a shower in the morning and being clean is very important to him (although not all teenagers I admit) I unscrewed the showerhead and hid it and I only had to do it once. So you have to find their weakspot!! In all seriousness, my son will only be at home for a couple more years and I don't want him to leave with the sound of shouting and nagging in his ears as I love him very much. My advice is to pick your battles but don't be made a fool of.

pixelation

Take the plug off the Xbox. Let him fester in stinky clothes and put the pans in his room.
You don't have to be bigger to be smarter.